I love reading the notes I have written in my Bible or devotionals…it is something I learned from watching my mom over the years. She would jot down names, dates, situations, prayer requests next to certain verses and would often mention them to me as she came upon them.

She still does…especially when those notes concerned me or my husband in our wayward days!

The neat thing about my own note-taking habit is hat I never know when one will pop up so it is a little memory surprise some mornings-something like a Bible Facebook memory!

Today my devotional led me to Isaiah 26:3-4~

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust the Lord forever, for the Lord, THE LORD, is the Rock eternal.

Off to the side I see 2 dates (one fairly recent and one from 2014) and 2 names. Both situations I can recall without effort as the intensity of those circumstances is ingrained into my memory.

What is more interesting is what I wrote in between the dates:

-how do I live with this?-

How often is that the question? There are so many times the choices that people make affect us in absolute adverse ways…we are T-boned by their life consequences and it hurts.

I learned a long time ago- although I am frequently reminded that I have not yet perfected the practice- that I am not responsible for another person’s choices or responses…

I get that…but it is a struggle within me to live that.

When my husband was walking his own path of drunken disillusionment, I somehow managed (with God’s help!!) to seperate myself from his choices. I had to come to terms with the reality that he was going to make his own decisions-whether I or laws of the land agreed with them- and he only was responsible for the consequence of those choices.

The reality for me was I would be seriously and significantly affected by those consequences which could wound me and my kids deeply, embarrass us, or even ruin the life we currently lived.

BUT I WAS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF IT…he would be.

I could not carry that weight because it was not mine to carry.

I chose to sleep with the phone away from the bedroom when he went out at night…I figured if there was something I needed to know that would pull me out of bed to deal with the police would come and tell me in person.

That was a sad time and a sadder reality.

But a hearty lesson of letting go and learning to trust in someone bigger than me to take care of me and those dirty details of life.

How do I live with this?

By trusting in the Lord, THE LORD I TELL YOU, for He is THE Rock eternal.

Do you want perfect peace in those not-so-perfect situations?

Trust in the Lord…He will keep you in perfect peace as you keep your mind set on Him…not set on the problem or what you cannot control-but on Him: your Maker, Creator, Savior, Comforter, King, and Friend.

Believe me or not, I slept those nights all those years ago.

I slept those nights in 2014 when I first wrote that note in my Bible.

I am sleeping now in 2018.

When I struggle, I return to the Giver of my Peace and ask Him to help me trust again.

My experiences have shown me that God is faithful for me to lean on..He is the only One who has never failed me…even as I come before Him honestly with my doubts, fears, worries, anxieties-especially in the peace of the night.

Setting my mind on Christ is the only solution that gives me rest.