I am reading John 9 and the story of the blind beggar being healed by Jesus.

The story starts with John telling us that as Jesus walked through the city He saw the man who had been born blind. This man was not like others whom Jesus had healed that cried out to Him for help, who were carried into His presence by friends, or who surrounded Him as He taught.

It is as if this man had accepted his fate, his trial, his troubles..but Jesus saw him.

The disciples then asked him, I would assume maybe because Jesus paused to look upon the man who could not see Him in return with compassion, why was he born blind? Was it because of something his parents did wrong? Or a sin of his own?

In essence- they were asking why does bad things happen for no reason sometimes??

Jesus answer was perfect: it was not because of a sin or for a punishment…it is for God’s glory to be revealed in his life.

The reality is that innocent people suffer. If God took all our suffering away when we asked Him to, would we worship Him for who He is or would we follow Him for comfort and convenience?

That question leads into the next part of the story- the healing.

One would hope that once healed this man’s life would get easier…he should be able to get a job, have a life finally instead of sitting around begging for his existance.

One would hope that Jesus would just heal him…poof! Like magic.

Jesus chose to spit in the dirt to make mud to rub on his face.

I am an RN. Let me tell you, as a person who works with mucus daily, we do not want that rubbed on us..especially someone else’s spit.

Remember, this man is blind…he cannot see Jesus face to know compassion is in it…he may not even know who this Jesus is because he is a man who sat off to the side waiting for scraps from the public.

This man is probably sitting before a man that just rubbed spit-mud on his face.

The healing process was messy.

How many times do I want Jesus to absolve me of my suffering with a snap of His fingers?

How many times do I ask for a removal of my pain without asking for the strength to endure the process of healing?

Again, as an RN, I see wounds heal…but sometimes the process is messy. Believe it or not, we still use leeches…maggots do eat dead flesh…we scrape off loose skin…we make cuts, put tubes where tubes do not belong, and we ask people to measure their body fluid, weigh them daily, and put patients into strange physical positions…all for the healing process.

It is not always pretty…fast…painless.

Neither was it for this blind beggar.

Next comes the part where he is healed…he should be rejoicing and people should be celebrating with him, right? He was healed after all…

But…Life seemed to get messier after the healing.

He was singled out, not for celebration, but for questions.

His identity, who he was as a person, was suddenly up for debate.

His family was brought forward to confirm whether or not his suffering all those years had even been real…had he been faking his blindness just in case a man came along to put spit-mud on his face to “fake heal” him someday?

Was his whole life a ruse? A lie?

Was his suffering not as bad as it seemed? Had he been overly dramatic?

He was ridiculed instead of celebrated.

His life suddenly got more complicated instead of easier now that the supposed barrier to a full, happy life was removed.

Interesting isn’t it?

What he always thought was keeping him unhappy and isolated was finally removed and yet…things (life) was still hard.

I ask myself…has healing from my spiritual, emotional, physical wounds made my life easier? Or messier?

I finally get what I want…like this blind beggar…a release from my suffering…but life is still complicated. My healing has seemingly brought its own issues…

This blind beggar was thrown out of his church for choosing to believe in the One who healed him….who released him from his bondage of suffering.

This blind man was thrown under the bus by his own family because they did not want to get into trouble on his account- they had been the ones who watched his suffering the closest and longest- from the moment it began at his birth…and yet…they refused to acknowledge the miracle for what it was on his behalf.

So here he is…alone, rejected, still a cast out, still isolated but healed.

Except now he sees Jesus and chose to believe in Him who heals even when the healing didn’t look as picture perfect as maybe he had imagined.

Intead, it pointed to the Healer…to give God the glory…

…it was not about the blindness at all…

It never had been.

This story tells me that either in my suffering, and believe me- I suffer, or in the resolution of what causes me pain my situation can bring glory to God for that is the purpose of my existence.

It is NOT for me I live…it is because of HIS breath in my lungs I am alive. It is for HIS glory I live for I am His creation….I am His.

In my suffering or in my healing…I am a light to display Christ.

Food for thought this morning as I process my own desired healing..