A good friend has described this time in my life as  “going through the wilderness“.

The interesting timing of this wilderness experience that I am going to my first District License interview in a matter of weeks and my concern is I will “blow it” with my authenticity.

In the Church of the Nazarene, there are steps one takes to become an ordained elder (or minister). Essentially this is the process:

I have completed “step 1” of taking classes at the Nazarene Bible College for Ministry Preparation.

“Step 2” is being approved by my local church to receive what is called a local license of ministry which is basically my church recognizing that God has called me out of a lay ministry into a more formal ministry path- we call it a “call on my life”.

“Step 3” is to be recommended by my local church to be interviewed by the larger district council to receive a license that is more widely recognized to be seen as minister in training.

“Step 4″ is finishing my requirements for ordination and being approved by the council to proceed as an Ordained Elder for the Church of the Nazarene worldwide.

 

My interview to begin this next step, which will ultimately pave the way for my ordination in a few years, is May 14.

It is in my current life struggles  that I am somewhat concerned that I will be told “I am not ready” or that “I am not stable enough to minister” because of how I may emotionally respond to some of the questions they ask. I can only answer one way- with 100% honesty and how that is perceived is in whatever manner they discern.

I want to stress, though, that I am not concerned that this interview will determine my worth nor that it confirms what I know God has set me forth to do…but I don’t want to self-sabotage myself either!

However, I read this thought process and found it appropriate for all of us as we get battered by life and still go out to do the work God called us to:

Psalm 126:5-6 ~Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest (NLT).

We may cry (be broken even) as we go do the work we are called to do but when it is done we will be joyful to see its completion from our obedience.

“God’s ability to restore life is beyond our understanding. Forests burn down and are able to grow back. Broken bones can heal. Even grief is not a permanent condition. Our tears can be seeds that will grow into a harvest of joy because God is able to bring good out of tragedy. When burdened by sorrow, know that your times of grief will end and that you will again find joy. We must be patient while we wait. God’s great harvest of joy IS coming!” (NIV Life Application Study Bible)