If you have ever had an issue with anxiety, you will know what I am talking about.

If you have ever been dealt a life altering blow to your reality that produces a cataclysmic amount of fear and trepidation, you are going to understand what I am talking about.

If you have ever felt like that your life is spinning out of control and that it is no longer your own, you may identify with me.

The root of anxiety is fear, right?

Fear of losing control.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the known…like a diagnosis or upcoming treatment plan.

It accompanies anticipation of what most likely has not happened yet but most likely will.

It is the antithesis of hope.

Anxiety keeps you awake at night because it rears its ugly self as soon as your head hits the pillow in the dark and quiet part of the day.

It likes to wake you up out of a deep slumber for no apparent reason.

It crashes into you in a hallway, a store, at work…leaving you almost incapable of making any decision.

Sound familiar?

There are multiple Bible verses that instruct us to not be anxious, to cast our cares on Him, to trust the Sovereign Lord…all this will provide you with peace.

There are a million self help books that teach solution focused ideas for anxiety management.

There are well trained counselors to assist in talking through the dire circumstamces that breed anxiety.

There is medication that can be prescribed to settle the neurons in our brain that will not quit awakening that flight or fight instinct.

All are beneficial.

I have gone to counselors, read books, and even tried medication…the most effective “treatment” however, is to trust the Lord and to release my burdens to Him.

It sounds so trite, doesn’t it?

But, trust me, this is no magic wand experience.

I have things weighing down my heart right now that I can do nothing about. I am afraid of the impending grief that is looming in the future…let’s not forget that “grief care” is my thing– and I am afraid of its warpath.

My heart breaks for those who are hurting that I cannot help..for their anxiety over what they cannot control.

What do I say then to them?

Cast your cares?

Do not be anxious?

Trust the Lord?

I may get spat on.

See, anxiety and pain run deep.

What I want to say…because I am telling my own self this right this very morning…is maybe the anxiety isn’t the bad thing we have been told it is is.

We fight it constantly, don’t we?

We try to purge ourselves of it as if it were an enemy foreign invader.

We will do anything to rid ourselves of it…and sit in shame and weakness because we cannot.

MAYBE we need to sit in the anxiety instead of run from it.

Sounds terrible doesn’t it? I sound like I am off my rocker and officially cracked under the pressure.

How can one possibly function if they are sitting in their anxiety?

Perhaps that is the point.

Half the time, my anxiety surfaces because I keep trying to do what I always do, what I know to do, what this world tells me I must do: go to my job as scheduled, be at every kid activity, smile through said activities, etc…get my point?

Maybe, just maybe, if I cried more, spoke up honestly over what I am feeling/what I want/what I am afraid of or concerned about, or made a choice that would benefit my own personal well-being instead of pleasing others or staying “strong for them”…then maybe I could finally deal with my anxiety.

Casting my cares onto the Lord for He cares for you (where IS that verse?? Can’t remember..) looks like talking to someone who loves me and won’t judge me for my honesty.

Think of that good friend you wail to, the therapist you poured it all out to, the parent who held you as you cried in torment from a nightmare, your spouse who sits next to you in your despair…

Think of all that and more rolled into one package…the Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace…

THAT is who we take our burdens to.

The tough truth is that I actually have to speak them to Him: I need to wail, I may need to scream, I need to cry my heart out, weep silently, be angry…I need to be honest, real, authentic.

If I am trying to flee from the anxiety then that won’t happen.

In my anxious thoughts, my mind and spirit are trying to tell me that I don’t like this, I don’t want this, help me out of this…If that is the case then I better say so.

I need to tell the Lord that I don’t understand why this is happening, I am terrified, I am broken, I am scared that I just can’t do this, I am angry because I did not ask for this, I am frustrated because I can’t get out of this, I do NOT get His timing, I am not convinced I like His plan, I want a miracle dang it, I want Him to fix this, I want a guarantee that this time/these tears/this experience WILL NOT BE WASTED.

I could go on and on. I need to do it again and again.

Feel my heart here?

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit…fleeing from what is crushing me will not get me the life preserver I so desperately need.

Think of someone floating in the water after a boat sinking or something…think of the hope they receive when that preserver is tossed to them, the security that suddenly envelopes them…yet they are still in the water.

Jesus is the preserver of my soul…I need to let Him know I need saving help so I can receive His comfort.

I am no different in my situations this morning than I was last night…but I feel calmer. Maybe that is the point of casting my cares…

He cares.