Two years ago around this day of April 17, I began this blog.

Last year, around this day, I was in the climax of one of the biggest physical and emotional challenges I have ever faced in my life to date.

I had already been living in the swirling mess of a tornado called Depression when I got the call that one if my oldest and dearest friends had a vicious return of her Colon Cancer- this time metastasized in her ovaries and omentum.

I was beyond overwhelmed by the sheer possibility that both diseases could rob this world of someone precious in an instant….and I was helpless to stop it from happening.

And then my illness reared its own ugly head to make its presence known…while dragging me to my knees in surrender.

Life smashed into me hard last year- around this day.

Therefore, reading my devotions this morning is rather interesting…

Are you like me, and write notes in your Bible or devotional books?

My mom has always done it so I cooied the habit from her…I must say it is pretty neat to see where you were and where you are especially in the context of spending time with the Lord.

I read Jesus Calling by Sarah Young daily- I have for years now. The pages are frayed and coffee stained but also marked with notes that were thoughts jogged by the words being read that day. Sometimes it is only a name with the year by it and other times it is a situation also being dated.

Today’s reading is no different.

The comparison of reading it TODAY with the memories of LAST YEAR still fresh in my head is causing me to be quite reflective this morning.

“I am training you in steadiness…Awareness of Me can continue in ALL circumstances, no matter what happens. THIS IS THE STEADINESS I DESIRE FOR YOU.”

The road I have walked these 365 days since reading this and UNDERLINING these words have most certainly been a long lesson -COVERED BY GRACE AND MERCY- in steadiness amidst my circumstances.

“Don’t let unexpected events throw you off course…I can help you cope with whatever is before you.”

And that He has…through panic attacks, fear storms, despair, anger, confusion, frustration, shame, discouragement, misunderstanding, lack of focus, lack of energy, lack of purpose, lacking of value…I am coping.

The Bible passages with this simple reading need to be shared as well…

Psalm 112:7

She will not fear bad new;

Her heart is STEADFAST, TRUSTING in the Lord [confidently relying on and believing in the Lord].

I have NEEDED that verse so many times this year…I have needed to cling to it, to claim it, to stand on it, to remind myself of it.

Have you ever had so much going on that the sound of a phone ringing scared you to death because you were certain something else bad had happened and that call was to inform you of it???

I NEEDED TO SAY THE WORDS OF TRUTH FROM THE BIBLE THAT I WILL NOT FEAR BAD NEWS!!!

Next, is Isaiah 41:10

DO NOT FEAR [anything] for I am with you;

DO NOT BE AFRAID for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you;

I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand.

Wow.

Looking back, I can see it.

Living in it, I could only cling to it.

365 days can only bring about so much change, you know? The intensity has abaded most days but the circumstances still remain… There are no real cures, only treatment, for Crohn’s, cancer, and depression.

We must learn to live with what we have been dealt.

Learning to cope has been the key for me.

Be encouraged today if you too are being trained in steadiness…the righteous hand of God is reached out to take hold of you too- go ahead and cling to Him.