For those who don’t know me, or to those who think they do, I wonder if I am perceived as being a fairly normal person or someone who lives her life spreading scriptural platitudes…

I am as normal as a person gets folks.

I sleep through Bible studies on accident.

I don’t want to go to work on Monday’s.

My feelings get hurt super easy.

I overanalyze phone calls from loved ones I haven’t talked to in awhile.

I write about Bible Passages because I choose to lean into and apply God’s Word to my daily life…

~kind of like nourishment.

I need the encouragement for myself every day.

So, I post on Instagram… Facebook…Twitter….write a blog…

I do it to encourage me.….and in the hopes others will be encouraged as well.

That being said, seeing all those Valentine’s posts from yesterday has got me thinking….

Those can be hurtful to people who do not think that they have those so-called “perfect” lives.

It could really trigger some raw emotions of the “if only I had….”

Yes, I confess, I posted an obligatory lovey-dovey collage I made of me and my hubby about him being my Valentine for 23+ years:

But, how about this:

I wasn’t the recipient of flowers at work (or at home), chocolates, or card…no Facebook announcement in affirmation of his great love for me…

I left little sweet treats on the table for my darling sons…I sent them a Snapchat picture of the treats with a Happy Valentine’s Day and a suggestion to do something for their Momma- to please clean the kitchen while I was at work and they were home for the day…

No response.

No kitchen cleaning.

No “thank you”.

No “Happy Valentine’s Day” in return.

Just blah teenage boys whose interest in their Momma has waned with puberty.

My husband and I did go out to dinner (yay!), leaving the precious duo to fend for themselves after they cleaned the kitchen…only to have my evening interrupted with a sharp, stabbing pain near my C-section scar…

Too painful to walk and too uncomfortable to try to “make the best” of the evening: home we went with me heading to bed with hot tea and medication to attempt to alleviate the distress..

That’s life with a chronic illness for you…it rears up when it wants to no matter the day or event: one simply has to live with it.

See? Fairly normal life stuff.

Here’s the truth:

My children do love me: they call (not just text!) to say hi once in a while, they laugh at my “mom-ness” in between their eye-rolling, and they let me kiss them good night most nights.

My husband doesn’t believe a card shows his affection for me on a “holiday”~ instead,he makes my bed for me almost every night so I can slide in comfortably.

So~
If I focus on how my Crohn’s ruined an evening, then I really will be miserable.

If I think my men don’t love me because of rare overtures of affection, then I really will be miserable.

If I let what I see played out for me on social media dictate how wonderful other people have it, then I really will be miserable due to the comparisons.

Who I am resides in the One who made me, not the ones who surround me.

That is a huge difference folks:

who is in me versus who is around me.

I am easily overtaken by anxious thoughts that try to pull me outside myself…instead of focusing on the Spirit inside me.

Outside of me, I feel I don’t measure up….that I am not loved….that I should be better.

Inside of me, I am loved…I am chosen…I am forgiven…I am made new…I am enough…I am a work in progress that is given sufficient grace every day.

Outside there is turmoil, chaos, brokenness, hurt, comparison, worry, stress, anxiety.

Inside there is peace. Patience. Goodness. Joy. Kindness. Self-control. LOVE.

So, if you were hurt or hurting on Valentine’s Day, I would encourage you to look inside yourself.

Find the One who offers all comfort, wisdom, and grace there…He is sufficient. He does provide all we need.

Our job is to stop looking elsewhere to find what can only be found in Him.

Ecclesiastes 3:11

He has made everything beautiful and appropriate in its time. He has also planted eternity (a sense of divine purpose) in the human heart (a mysterious longing, which nothing under the sun can satisfy, BUT GOD).

We are loved.

We have value.

Our lives have meaning.

Our lives have purpose.

No matter your age, your mistakes, your health, your relationship status, your dreams, your failures…

None of those can satisfy what your heart is longing for…those are the distractions from the outside…

LOOK INSIDE FOR MORE.