Romans 8:28
And we know with great confidence, that God (who is deeply concerned about us) causes all things to work together (as a plan) for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.
AMP
After spending quite a few studies in the Gospels, we have now jumped to the letters of the apostle Paul. This particular passage does not mention being unafraid, but it can certainly give us a reason to be.
This passage is from the book of Romans which is a letter that Paul is writing to the Christian church in Rome. His letters are expressions of encouragement to the believers that are under severe persecution for their faith as they live in region where Caesar rules and considers himself to be a deity. This was an incredibly dangerous time for Christians who worshipped Christ as King and not Caesar.
This is a well-read passage and has been passed on from believer to believer as a way to encourage one another to maintain HOPE in the face of trials.
But it is also quoted in ways that are found to be unhelpful as it can be interpreted to mean that all things have a way of “working out for the best” for a believer….when that is not always the case.
If interpreted that way, a person can easily become confused when their situation does not work out quite so well.
Does that mean they do not love God enough?
Could this verse mean that my BAD situation is a part of God’s purpose and plan???
I have a personal story about this verse that I share often in the grief support class that I help to facilitate.
Let’s read that verse again -this time in a different translation- and then I’ll tell you my story.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
NIV
If you have been following my writings, you may know a little bit about my history: one of my very first blogs tells of my story. But, for the sake of better understanding and a way for me to connect to this passage in order to help YOU connect to it, I’ll refresh your memory about me.
I must say….this blog is rather real and raw- I find I am hesitant to even share these thoughts as they are ones I hold close inside. But, in the scope of a person who desires full transparency, here I go…
I was raised in a Christian home that went to church every Sunday and Wednesday. My brother and I loved going to church and loved being a part of our youth group! I would (with great anticipation) attend at least two “church camps” each summer and looked forward to weekend retreats, as well, throughout the winter.
My faith was very real and I was fairly well-informed of the Bible as a teenager.
However, due to frustrations and disillusioned after a change in church leadership, I left for college without a strong desire to seek out Christian fellowship or corporate worship. You see, I had become discouraged with “organized religion” and felt myself to be “above” the need for it.
That arrogance set me up for a journey away from the presence of God that I was too blind to notice.
I quickly began to live life MY way. I got busy with school, with fun, with friends, with my career, with more fun…I began to experience a reckless side of life that I had been sheltered from and I took chances with my own safety as well as the safety of others.
This continued as I grew into a thirty-plus year old wife and mother with a stable job as an RN. I kept my faith on the back burner – it was not really forgotten, but it certainly was not a priority to use either.
Let’s just say that it would have been hard to know I was a Christian from the way I behaved or spoke. There were times, however, that I knew it would be appropriate to pray for someone or (as crazy as it sounds) encourage others to lean into their faith or go to church.
I just did not want to be influenced by God in a way that my lifestyle was going to require changing. I was “fine” just the way I was.
Until.
In 2009, my sister in law died of alcoholism.
She was 41 to my 34 years of living.
She had three kids under the age of 12 to my two under the age of 6.
I knew her drinking was different than mine…but it did not seem by much.
And it killed her.
That moment brought me to my knees.
I can still feel it in my memory…the hard floor underneath me as I collapsed to the ground in my dining room when my husband (her brother) left our home to join his parents at her bedside.
I had no one I felt I could call.
I had no one who was able to come over to comfort me.
In the days to months that followed, I grew confused, conflicted, angry, and then numb. I slipped into an empty space where I could not feel anymore. Frankly, I no longer wanted to.
My coping skills consisted of pretending I was “fine”, staying busy, and having a few cocktails each day to “settle” my ever- growing anxiety.
Unfortunately, this is the point where having caring, Christian parents who love you (and loved my sister in law as well) became an issue.
They wanted to help.
How dare they, right?
They wanted me to feel better…to find some peace…to change my own ways so I did not end up dead as well.
Their efforts were to pray consistently behind the scenes for me and to attempt to “help” in the only way they knew how:
they kept reminding me of my faith.
They reminded me of Bible verses that had been prayed over me as a teenager. They reminded me that praying to God would help. They reminded me that going to church was a good idea and that I used to like going. They reminded me of praise songs that I could no longer sing because the words would get clogged in my throat if I attempted to try to sing.
The more they reminded me, the more angry I became.
And then they declared the verse for today…out of love for me and with good intentions…
Good ole Romans 8:28….”God works all things together for His good”.
My response was rather embittered~
Oh yeah?
He does, huh?
Cuz this sure don’t look or feel good.
In a moment, I shut down completely to them…to God….to any comfort that could possibly help.
My anxiety grew with my drinking habit.
My insomnia laughed at me.
My fear of something else happening put an ice shroud around my heart.
And a Scripture about God working things for good is supposed to help me?
That verse was like acid on my tongue.
There was no good in this situation.
There would be no good in this situation.
I was hopeless and defeated about it.
Fast forward a few months of misery, after a couple of weeks of personal counseling (which I highly recommend if you are in despair!). I found myself walking into a church of all places.
I had seen an advertisement for a GriefShare class and felt something inside me warm up a little as I contemplated attending. When I went to the first class, I was hung over and pretty much expecting to be asked to leave or to have a fireball from heaven rain down on my hypocritical butt!
Neither happened.
Instead, I found a place that taught me how to grieve.
Once I gave myself permission to grieve, I was suddenly in position to receive comfort.
Jesus, in Matthew 5:4, tells us that blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.
First, I had to mourn.
As I learned more about God and began to experience His comfort, my heart began to thaw. I started to feel again. I started to want to feel things again. I started to want to care about people again and to let them care about me.
That meant my parents too.
Needless to say, they were thrilled beyond all measure to know I had chosen to go to church for help: I like to say that desperate people do desperate things….even go to church!
They were even more thrilled to watch my life be radically changed by the One who comforted me.
A year later, my marriage fell apart.
-Sorry, there is no easy way to say that one-
Again, I was face to face with the tension of God’s goodness and His plan for my life and my reality. It made no sense that I would be brought to a new place in life due to my relationship with Jesus, but that my marriage would fail in that transformation.
After one horrible weekend away from each other, with me resting in the comforting presence of the Lord and my husband gone to decide what he wanted out of our life together; he came home to me.
Almost 9 months later, my husband gave his heart and life to Christ. Six months after that, we were volunteering as youth leaders in our church’s youth group. We were attending church as a family and had changed the trajectory of our family’s future forever.
Enter in that darn verse of Romans 8:28…
My sister in law died in 2009.
I was in absolute despair in 2010.
My marriage was almost over in 2011.
Our lives were dramatically changed by Christ as we lived for Him as a family in 2012.
THAT year I made a Christmas card and sent it to everyone we knew.
It had a bunch of pictures of our year together and the caption said only one thing:
And WE know that in ALL things God works FOR THE GOOD of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
“Good” doesn’t always look the way WE think it should or will. “Good” doesn’t always happen on our timeline either. God’s purposes can be very different from mine…but His good is so much better than I could have ever imagined…and His timeline makes more sense as I look back.
God did NOT take my sister in law…she died. What God did is what He does best~
He brought what was planned for evil and used it for good.
My life could have be destroyed by the alcoholism that took the life out of my best friend. My marriage could have been demolished in the wake of that grief. My children’s future could have been a legacy of godless living and alcoholism.
BUT GOD…
His goodness and His purposes…all because we love Him.
And we love Him because He first loved us.
Now, I have confidence to claim this verse when fear is again encroaching on my doorpost…I KNOW what God’s goodness can do in the face of what IS NOT GOOD. I have seen His mercy, grace, protection, provision, and restoration in my life, my husband’s life, our family’s lives, our marriage, and in countless other people we have been blessed to know since the day evil had been planned.
I can be UNAFRAID.
What Kind of Peace Is This? 