Author: thischicksinpeace

“Nothing happens to us that escapes God’s notice and care; not a tear falls to the ground that He does not remember. When we suffer, it is a great comfort to know that God is for us- everything that we live for will be put to use for our good”- AMP Bible study note for Psalm 56:8.

You have put my tears in a bottle. Are they not recorded in Your book?? (Psalm 56:8)

2017-2018 was an awfully intense year filled with experiences I never expected to live through…on many levels and for many reasons.

In a way, it was kind of a culmination of the past 10 years all smushed into one year!

All the lessons I had lived through pretty much came to the surface as I attempted to maneuver through each new situation as it came…

I am watching my Facebook memories and seeing the new posts of these last few days and can see the truth of this verse in its entirety.

Ten years ago, this week actually, my sister in law died from her battle with alcoholism. That single,intensely awful experience was the catalyst to transform me into the person I am today.

In that time, ten years ago, I was angry and despondent in my grief…but those unrelenting emotions of pain and despair turned into a passion to never let anyone walk alone in their pain ever again if I could help it.

Talk about the Lord using my tears and never wasting them!!

In a few weeks, after taking a hiatus due to my own need for self-care, I am pleased, honored, and humbled to return to the GriefShare table; offering assistance through my own experience of healing by Christ to those who are hurting.

( FYI: http://www.griefshare.org has listings of classes local to you as well)

That experience of received comfort from the Lord completely changed me and it is not something I can keep to myself!

I have learned and love the acronym for HOPE as something to hang onto and to pass on:

H hold

O on

P pain

E ends

To me that is epitome of purposeful living .. encouraging others to hold on BECAUSE pain ends…I desire to offer them the HOPE I now have.

This year, I see all the posts of high school graduates going off to college…and that is an overlooked yet extremely significant moment in the child’s life but also for the parent.

In our experience of 2017-2018, we found ourselves unexpectedly sending our own graduated high school student off to college…we are parents to much younger boys so this was not an experience we were emotionally prepared for in any way, shape, or form.

Saying “goodbye” and leaving a kid you love (whether by birth or not) was one of the most difficult things I had to do….except for returning home and learning how to live again as a family of 4 in the house.

I had a whole new appreciation for my own parents leaving me 2.5 hours away from home without the luxury of social media and cell phone instant communication!!!!

I wondered often, as I was yet again adjusting to a new normal way of living, why on earth am I going through this???

What is the purpose for this pain???!!!

I didn’t ask to be in this situation. I didn’t look to feel this “maternal” to one I didn’t raise. I never anticipated the experience of ten years ago would have led us to this place.

Yet there I was anyway.

What to do with it all??

Were those tears to be wasted?

No.

“Nothing that happens to us escapes God’s notice and care.”

A year later, I have a compassion and an insight to the heartache of a mother’s heart as her children leave the nest.

This is no simple transformation or transition of a home.

Behind the excitement in a mother’s smile is a heart that is hurting…it is inevitable because letting go hurts.

We have loved, cared for, and protected our children…and suddenly, in a blink, they grow up and move out.

I think I needed to learn that lesson…in preparation of my own son’s moving on soon-maybe…Or, perhaps, to have my eyes open to another mom who is forgotten in the shuffle of life and needs a little TLC herself.

There isn’t a single experience we go through that God can’t redeem,restore, or reuse for His Kingdom and glory…not one.

So, to the mom’s and dad’s who are sending their sons and daughters off into the world this week, I see you.

More importantly, the Lord sees you and every tear that falls to the ground.

To those who are experiencing deep grief because a loved one has died, I see you: Hold On Pain Ends.

More importantly, the Lord sees you and can use everything you go through for His good.

Luke 5 tells of Jesus meeting His disciples for the first time and it’s a story I am reflecting on today…

For the sake of time allow me to summarize it a bit~

Jesus is at the Sea of Galilee and sees these boats just off the shore. The “owners” are washing their nets outside of the boats: He asks them (as He climbs into one) to out the boat a little out from the shore so He can better teach the crowd that has followed Him.

Peter is the man Jesus made this request to.

Peter complied and it appears that he also listened to what Jesus was speaking to the people because when Jesus had finished He told Peter to put the nets back in the water to fish.

Peter said “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing…. but, at Your word, I will do as You say” (vs 5).

The ending of this meeting is that they caught a ton of fish and ultimately Peter, his brother Andrew, and their “business partners”- James and John – all left their jobs and lives to follow Christ.

Cool story.

The points that stand out to me are these:

#1 Peter was doing something already when asked to stop that task and get back into the boat so a virtual stranger could do his public speaking

#2 when Jesus told them to fish again, Peter had already failed at catching anything during the prime time to fish

We are all busy people, right?

There are some days when I am busier than others- no doubt about it!

There are some days when I am so tired ( and maybe discouraged) at the end of the day I just want to finish the task before me and go to bed.

I assume I am not alone in that line of thinking??

Peter is no different. He had just worked his “shift” and was cleaning up so he could go home. Not only had he worked a long day but it was also an unproductive day.

He had caught nothing.

Ever have that kind of day??

Out of the blue, someone you don’t really know but can kinda tell may be a person of importance asks you for a favor…

(We assume Peter saw the crowd of people following Jesus to indicate that He was a man worth helping)

How many times can you say you would agree to stay a little bit longer…do something not exactly on your to-do list….put your fatigue and frustration aside to be nice to a complete stranger??

Peter was as human as you and me… I’ve been that tired and frustrated at the end of a day…I can honestly say I would have sighed a HUGE sigh (with the word “al-riiiigghht” coming off my tongue) as I untied my boat for Him.

Imagine if Peter would have said no or asked Andrew to help Jesus so he, Peter, could go home?

Talk about a missed opportunity to be entirely changed by the Savior!

Instead, Peter helps Jesus with his boat while also sitting to listen to this teacher teach.

What a lesson that must have been, huh?

Next, when Jesus was done speaking to the crowd, He addresses the captain of this vessel personally. He gives the “helpful” suggestion to fish again when the time isn’t even right to.

Don’t you love it when someone who doesn’t do your job tells you how to do your job???

Especially when you are tired and have already had a really bad day at it??

Peter, being Peter, gives a great response in saying “ummmm….we kind of already did that today and didn’t do so well at it…and when we did it was kind of when you should do it.. sooooo, this may not be a good time for it and all….

BUT

Ok. We’ll do it because YOU asked us to”.

Talk about a pride swallowing situation.

They were done for the day people.

They had put their stuff away.

They were tired.

They were sitting on the memory of their failed attempt from earlier.

And here this teacher is asking them to go back at it.

At the wrong time of day to even do it.

I have an extremely strong-willed almost 14 year old son.

He challenges me at every turn and if his mind is set against something he will not budge for anything.

I have learned the art of parental compromise with him in order to keep the peace. The old saying to “pick your battles” is very applicable in rasing him!

He has this fundraiser to do…he is supposed to sell 20 of these things by early September. He is actually quite excited at the thought of the prizes he would qualify for if he sold 30.

This makes him more motivated than I have seen him in a while over a “chore”.

However..

He decided, in his enthusiasm, to canvas the neighborhood one day to become the great salesman he hoped to be.

For him, it meant he actually woke up in the summer at a decent time.. got dressed. . brushed his teeth ... and left the house to go talk to strangers about this great coupon deal he had to offer them.

Pretty awesome stuff!

Here is the however…

another boy in the neighborhood beat him to the punch and all 5 of the houses my son approached so boldly told him they had already purchased the coupon book.

This led him to the assumption that the whole neighborhood had purchased a book so why bother continuing his quest.

I asked- what about our next door neighbor? Maybe Sam did not buy one yet…we won’t know for sure unless we ask him, right?

My son, convinced that this is an absolute lost cause, will not budge or adjust his pride to go ask our neighbor if he would like to purchase this great deal from NIC- not just some kid down the street.

No amount of discussion will change my son’s mind.

He has quit on the neighbor before he really even began trying.

Peter knew it wasn’t the right time of day to fish….he knew he had already failed at his job when it was the right time of day to be doing it.

And yet…

Because of the One asking him, he swallowed his pride and tossed his nets into the sea anyway…

Peter chose to trust and obey the word of God even when the circumstance seemed incompatible with success.

Can we say we are like Peter when we know the Lord is asking something from us and it seems ridiculous or impossible to do it…and just trust and obey in doing it??

I imagine it is easier to be like my young son, who is still trying to figure life out…it is hard to put yourself out there in the face of impending or possible failure, isn’t it?

It is hard to do something when you are tired, frustrated, or have already “failed” at …

Endurance means to keep going..even if the odds are stacked against you…if if you are tired….even if you feel you can’t…even if you don’t think it won’t make a difference. ..

Why?

Because Jesus told us to…

What is the “net” in your life you need to toss over the side of the boat in faith?

Is it something as simple as a fundraiser card or something more significant?

Trust and obey….

The reward for it are innumerable blessings that are not always tangible or profitable in this life… but in Peter’s case it was in more fish than he could handle on his own!

We can’t out give God…and He LOVES to love on His children especially when we are obedient to His word.

Just something to think about….

So…I am reading about fixing my eyes on Christ and the significance of Jesus as part of the Trinity: God, the Father; Jesus, the Son; and the Holy Spirit~three in One.

Jesus said that when we see Him we see the Father…because They are one.

As we live a life in Christ, following in His example, we are also living up to our destiny~ being made in the image of God…

Ok.

As I sit outside in creation this morning, with the sun slightly warming my skin and the wind gently blowing through the trees while the birds are singing around me, I have experienced something.

Bear with me here~

I close my eyes and lift my face up to the sky and breathe deep.

As I am breathing, I am taking my surroundings in…and looking beyond them at the same time.

I am seeking the Father.

I am 44 years old…I have a wonderful earth dad…but I need The Father.

God is sovereign over all things.

He is the Creator.

Picture Him in your mind~ big…wide open arms…enfolding you.

Do you feel safe in your Father’s arms? Do you feel protected?

I do.

Next, I seek Jesus.

He is there for They are one.

Jesus is my Savior.

He loves me.

He is always with me.

Do you feel loved, Beloved? Do you feel hopeful?

As I breathe it all in…I rest in knowing I am loved. I am not alone or forsaken or forgotten.

One more to go…the Holy Spirit is whom Jesus said would be better for Him to go to the Father so the Spirit could be with us.

The Holy Spirit is our Comforter…Counselor…Healer…

As I sit engulfed in the arms of my Father, Jesus is at my side flanking me with love, and the Holy Spirit is filling me with strength, comfort- healing the broken places only He and I know about…He is making me whole.

Three in one…

It is peaceful in His presence.

I am restored there.

My prayer is that you will be too.

Being afraid or nervous of the uncertainties of life is pretty common I think.

I hope~otherwise I am an oddball.

There are so many variables that can affect our days, aren’t there?

•weather

•traffic

•other people’s choices
I am currently sitting in a holding pattern…I have zero control over what another person will do, how a second other person will react, and the timeline it all occurs.

It is kind of unsettling.

Many of those kinds of uncertainties that we concern ourselves over aren’t even “big” deals in the scheme of things, are they?

Sometimes, yes, it is life and death issues we face and what we choose in those moments can have a huge impact on the rest of our days.

But, I would say, that the majority of what stresses me out is not a cataclysmic thing where the fate of the world is precariously hanging in the balance…

Now, I am in no way minimalizing our stressors…I cannot because I am currently fighting through something myself that is not cataclysmic but is still worth my time to work through.

What I am doing is trying to gain perspective in the midst of the future uncertainty.

In the past, I would definitely say I have been guilty of trying to micromanage a situation in an attempt to gain control.

Those that know me may chuckle in agreement at that acknowledgement!

I want to state for the record that that is NOT what I am doing here today.

I am recognizing the validity that there are things in our life, the uncertainties of our future, that loom in the coming distance that we are straining our eyes so desperately to see so we know what to do and can prepare ourselves for how we can or will react or respond.

If trying to gain control of that circumstance does not work or is not in my best interest (as I have learned over the years in my effort to perfect that action), then how can I trust God through it and rest in HIS sovereign reign over all things?

We know that’s the key, don’t we?

But knowing and doing are NOT the same thing.

I need to do.

Deuteronomy 32:8 tells us that it is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or abandon you . Do not fear or be dismayed.

Ok. That is some good stuff, right?

But, that seems to fall in line with the “knowing” part of our faith ..because we know that truth about God, don’t we?

How can I believe it to the point where my life reflects that knowing?

I have rarely memorized Scripture on purpose. That is probably not a wise thing for a “pastor in training” to admit… but it is what it is and that is my truth.

However, I do have many verses tucked into my heart (aka memory banks) due to frequent reading, rereading, and meditation on them…

I just rarely read a passage and say to myself I should memorize that one.

Until last week that is.

I am rereading through the Psalms and came to chapter 16.

This particular chapter has become quite special to me over the course of the last 2 years for a multitude of reasons…there have been a few of those 11 verses that have stood out and have been highlighted.

Never verse 8 though.

I read it, last week, as if I saw it for the first time.

Isn’t the Living Word awesome for that yet??

Can I get an AMEN?

Psalm 16:8 (from memory 😉)

I have continuously put the Lord before me. Because He is at my right hand I will not be shaken.

So, over a week ago, I committed that verse to memory and repeated it to myself throughout the days.

Good stuff.

Then, Friday, an unforseen battle back into suicidal depression reared its ugly head and that verse, tucked into my memory, flooded my mind to counteract the fear that waged war within me.

The fear may have abated but much certainty remains…and that reality is what unsettles me.

Reading the verse in Deuteronomy today resonated….but when I pair it with what I memorized from Psalm 16 a whole new perspective formed.

I know God is going before me. I know He will not leave me. I know He strengthens me.

How I live my life in that belief has its answer in Psalm 16:8~

I put the Lord before me.

What does that mean?

I stay the course.

I pray.

I read my Bible.

I speak God’s truth to myself.

I hang onto hope.

I keep doing what I was created to do.

I seek wisdom and discernment.

I listen to the quiet voice behind the chaos.

Doing those things is not a magic wand to fix all my problems but they do put the Lord before me.

When He is there, at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

I believe in the promises of the Lord.

I believe I am His beloved.

I believe I am chosen and adopted into His family for His service.

I believe I was created for a purpose.

Knowing what I believe and who I am roots my feet securely even though the storms of life may cause the rest of me to toss and blow.

I will not be shaken.

So, if you are facing uncertainties in your day or in the near- future, I would say these things to you:

Hang on

Press into what you believe

Cling to what you KNOW is true

Put the Lord before you

Be blessed today.

For You cause my lamp to be lighted and to shine;

The Lord my God illuminates my darkness.

Psalm 18:28 (Amp)

A call into ministry can be a lonely path to walk: it is one filled with side journeys of doubt and insecurity as well as the most incredible blessings.

Most people don’t understand why I would choose this road and wonder what am “I” planning on doing with it….And, I must say, it’s pretty hard to explain it when I don’t have all the answers myself.

I often wonder: why me, Lord? what now? which way? how come? how long? are You sure?

I often feel ill-equipped, uncertain, unqualified, unappreciated, insecure, misunderstood… I struggle with being too busy and not busy enough….

I feel like this lighthouse- seated on a cliff where hardly anyone can see it unless you know it’s there and want to find it.

It’s rough some days..as rough as the waters that surround the cliff- beating a well worn pattern into the rocks…it feels as lonely and isolating as this lighthouse looks.

But, like a lighthouse, I am called to let my own light shine regardless of where I am placed and who is looking…I am to tell the wonders of He who saved me…I am to “proclaim the excellence of Him who called you out of the darkness and into His glorious Light” ( Sarah Young Jesus Always).

1 Peter 2:9

But you are chosen to proclaim the wonderful deeds and virtues and perfections of Him who has called you out of darkness and into His glorious Light.

And so I press on…for the One who has called me onto this lonely path is faithful to finish what He started in me.

Matthew 5:16

Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good deeds and moral excellence and glorify your Father who is in Heaven.

I lean in…I question…I seek…I listen…I wait…

“I have called you to follow Me on a solitary path, making time alone with Me your highest priority… as you walk close to Me, I can bless others through you” (Sarah Young Jesus Calling).

John 1:5

The Light shines on in the darkness…

#jesusalways #jesuscalling #jesuscallingbysarahyoung #preachergirl #calledbygod #purposedrivenlife #lightoftheworld #lightinthedarkness #ministrylife #churchofthenazarene

Being a person plagued with self doubt, I identify with this morning’s devotional reading from #jesuscalling by Sarah Young:

“Self pity is a slimy, bottomless pit. Once you fall in, you tend to go deeper and deeper into the mire. As you slide down those slippery walls, you are well on your way to depression, and the darkness (there) is profound.”

Having just returned from an adventure with with my son and an encouraging event with my church, one should wonder why this strikes a chord so hard this morning.

The truth is that we have an enemy who likes to hit us where he can….and maybe it is more likely to happen when we are feeling contented so our defenses are down somewhat.

He likes to hit my “you’re not good enough” button..

Do you have one of those?

Perhaps you have one by another name…

The slimy, slippery slide of self pity is not a fun ride that I chose to wait in line for at an amusement park and yet I find myself on it anyway.

My limitations are suddenly mountains I can’t climb.

My dreams are unreachable.

My passions are foolish.

My talents are over exaggerated.

See where this goes?

To Nowhere-ville.

Planet Pity.

Cry-town.

In that pit I am frustrated, discouraged, irritated with bitterness knocking at my front door.

My husband gave me one simple word in response to the party invitation I sent him (to the pity party– get it?):

PATIENCE.

No one likes that word.

No one.

But there is empowerment in the wisdom of it.

Why?

Because it means I must be productive in the waiting.

It means I must be trusting in the waiting.

It means I must believe that the waiting time is temporary and will end at some point.

My time is not wasted there.

My resources are strengthened there.

My passions stir there.

When my thinking shifts, the last call signals drawing the pity party to an end…

I choose to think differently.

I choose patience.

I choose to look up from the darkness and reach up out of the sticky mire that tries to hold me captive.

I choose to climb back up toward the Light of Truth that says I do have value…I do have worth… I am created for a purpose.

Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord;

He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He brought me out of a horrible pit and out of the miry clay.

He set my feet upon a rock, steadied my footsteps, and established my path.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;

Many will see and will fear the Lord with reverence and will confidently put their trust in the Lord.

To all those folks who have cared for a small child ever in your life may remember an experience like this:

Me: don’t do that/touch that ~you will get hurt.

Child: I wanna anyway.

Me: I said don’t do it. You will get hurt. Step away.

Child: (thinking to self) I don’t believe you. Looks at adult with wide eyes innocence.

Me: I mean it. Don’t do it or you will also be in trouble.

Child: (of course) does it and (of course) gets hurt.

Me: dang it. Now there has to be a consequence, too, for the disobedience.

Why didn’t you just listen child??

I am reading the book of Exodus and an interesting part of the story of the Israelites jumped out at me.

Remember the part where the spies all sneak into the Promised Land of Canaan at the command of the Lord through Moses?It’s in Exodus 13 if you feel like doing a little light reading!

Within the group of spies, there was Joshua (Moses’s right hand man who rarely left the Tabernacle of the Lord) and Caleb (from the tribe of Judah).

Upon returning to the Wilderness of Paran, the spies were to tell of their findings. The majority of the spies were terrified of the people who inhabited the land promised to them.

They had also forgotten the mighty works of God that rescued them from Egypt…you know- the plagues, the parting of the Red Sea, provision of manna, water from rocks, quail from nowhere, oh~and the presence of God that appeared as a cloud over the Tabernacle and led them as a cloud of fire by night.Just a few things….

In their fear, the spies lied and said the land was not all that great anyway and that the people living there would surely kill them all if they tried to advance.

Joshua and Caleb were like WHAT?!That land is flipping great and those people are no concern to us because we have the Lord on our side.

IF GOD SAYS THE LAND IS OURS THEN HE WILL MAKE IT OURS.

Period.

No more argument.
Let’s move, people, and take it.

The people, however, were like (get your best whiney-voice ready) “oh no…we’re never gonna make it. God obviously brought us here to die after doing all those amazing miracles. We never should have left the slavery and oppression in Egypt.”

WHAT?!

Needless to say, God was not pleased.He told them to do something..to trust Him and to do something…and all these people do is complain and say I can’t.

That’s where God decided to not let that complaining generation into the Promised Land (except for Caleb and Joshua). Once the last of the complainers had died, then the next generation would be allowed access to Canaan.

In 40 years.

Ok…so, here is the point~Exodus 14:40-45 tells us this next act of disobedience.

God: you can’t go in there.

People: He doesn’t really mean that.

Moses: uuuhhhh ..yes, He does.

People: no way… we’re His chosen people and that’s the land He promised us. We said we’re sorry…that makes everything all better.

Moses: uuuhhhhh….no, it doesn’t. Don’t you do it. You will be in big trouble if you do it….

People: Let’s go for it!

Verse 44- In their arrogance they dared to go up the ridge of the hill country;however, neither the ark of the covenant of the Lord nor Moses left the camp.

Guess what happened?

The Amalekites and Canaanites who lived there came and struck them and scattered them as far away as Hormah.

And the rest of that generation still wandered for 40 years as the Lord had previously decreed.

Those poor folks died for nothing.

We do that too, don’t we?

We are told to do something and either disobey entirely and not do it or do it on our own merit or time table…without God.

Perhaps we do something when we have been specifically told not to. We think- I won’t get hurt; I won’t get in trouble…

And then we are surprised when we do get hurt or get in trouble.

Why on earth is that?

The beauty of the story of the Israelites and Moses is the faithfulness of God through it all.

They complained- He provided.

They rebelled- He protected.
They chose idols over Him- He continued to reveal His glory to them.

In those years of wandering, in the time of “punishment”, God protected them, fed them, kept them from tiring, and would not even allow for their shoes to wear out.

That is what a good Father does…He holds to the consequence but loves the child all the way through it.

We are forgiven if we wander and disobey…but there is no promise of an easy road from that point on just because we are now sorry.

True repentance means to turn from the sin and to live a transformed life…including humility to accept the consequences when needed.

That’s a good story- The Exodus…I would recommend reading it often and see what little nuggets you can pull out to reflect on…

Ever feel like you’re in the middle of a “wilderness experience”?

Spiritually dry, emotionally empty, and feeling like you are physically wandering from place to place?

I was there this past year…

In fact, today is an anniversary of sorts: I recieved my very first infusion treatment for my Crohn’s disease. Ironically, I am scheduled for another infusion today. The emotion of today is acceptance…the emotion of last year was fear.

It took the wilderness time to get me from fear to acceptance.

Jesus Calling says it so well today:

“You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you not before you…Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever waits you on your journey.”

In regards to the Israelites living in the wilderness: the empty wilderness kept them dependent

(we feel needy, don’t we?)

and kept them from being distracted with the normal affairs of caring for land and animals.

(I could barely work let alone be distracted by much more than that)

They were starting over in their relationship with God after being enslaved and oppressed in Egypt.

I hadn’t been oppressed or enslaved when my time of wandering the wilderness began…

But I might have been pretty caught up in the day to day life stuff and the plan for myself I thought me and the Lord had agreed on.

Now, God did not cause my illness…but He did allow it to take root in me and rear up while He stood next to me, holding out His hand for me to take and walk with Him through it.

My wilderness time forced me to think.

It forced me to reevaluate my present and my future.

It forced me to to search my heart and find what desires have been put there by the Lord…and what things were not of Him that was keeping me apart from Him.

I did not have any huge revelations in that time but I did experience something similar to what the Israelites did:

I got to know myself better and who I was in the Lord. I got to know God better because He became the One whom I was most dependent upon.

These are important lessons…

Now to read the book of Numbers…

Have you ever tried to do something that seemed like a good idea and no matter how hard you tried it just did not work???

Have you ever pushed and pulled, tugged and yanked, poked and prodded, bended and lifted and what ever that something is just would not do what you wanted it to?

Have you ever tried to get something done but the more effort you put into it the more stressed out you seemed to get about it?

I tend to believe that if you try hard enough you ultimately get what you are trying to get….

I tend to believe that there are some things that are worth fighting for…

I tend to believe that there are good things we have to work hard and wait for…

I am also learning that if it seems like you keep meeting resistance then maybe you need to reevaluate what it is you are trying to do and why.

I am in NO WAY suggesting that if the going gets tough, quit…I am saying, however, that life shouldn’t always be about the battle either…

God is the giver of good gifts…His plan for my life, and for my children, is good but not promised to be easy or trial free (read my other Blog posts if you think my life is a piece of cake as a Christ follower😉).

Sometimes, as I trust Him, He seems to clear the pathway ahead me so neatly…with each step I take.

Other times, I think I may be throwing down my own litter that obstructs the view of the road He is cleaning…

I see certain options as good.

I see there are certain paths that I or my children can take that could be great….if it worked out.

BUT is that my plan for us or His?

When I try to force a plan into action, even with the best intentions in mind, and it just doesn’t seem to want to work no matter how hard I try, how hard I push, how hard I finagle, or what angle I try to approach from next

THEN MAYBE THAT ISN’T THE DIRECTION I SHOULD GO.

Seems pretty obvious, huh?

Yet, it isn’t is it?

If it were, we would all stop striving for something that was never ours to grasp and actually reach for what God’s plan is for us… A plan that will surpass our imaginations because He knows us better than we know ourselves!

How do I know I am stepping out onto a trail off of the path the Lord has for me?

THERE IS NO PEACE IN IT.

There is turmoil.

There is unrest.

There is stress.

There is worry.

And there is that still small voice, behind all the noise that is trying to confuse me, saying “Trust Me in this…don’t try so hard…relax….trust Me”.

What do I do?

I normally keep pushing…trying so desperately to make my plan work.

I call it trying to fit a triangle peg into a square hole.

It’s not gonna work Amy.

Normally, one of two things happen.

1. I get my way and I am still not happy. There is still no peace. There is still unrest. There is still turmoil.

Sounds fun, doesn’t it?

Does the saying “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it” sound familiar to anyone???

2. One more hurdle gets in my way and I finally throw my hands up and submit to the Lord that this is not working what does HE want me to do.

Guess what? On that day (which was yesterday for me and my household) there is peace.

I finally feel at rest about our situation.

I finally feel excited for our son’s future.

I finally a sense of calm that the Lord is holding us in His hand and will continue to care for us, provide for us, shelter us…as long as we continue to trust and obey Him.

James 1:22 gives an incredible reminder to not just listen to (or read) God’s Word. We must do what it says. Otherwise, we are only fooling ourselves.

Be doer’s of the Word…not just hearer’s….because

If you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, THEN GOD WILL BLESS YOU FOR DOING IT.

Frankly, there is no greater blessing in my life then experiencing the peace that passes all understanding.

I sleep better at night with it.