Author: thischicksinpeace

I am chewing on a thought here…

My morning devotional tells me that encouragement is a good way to deliver the message of love of God to others.

I believe in spiritual gifts…that we all have been gifted in something that when used in conjunction with the Lord can become incredibly fruitful for His kingdom but also in our own lives.

I don’t know if it is a spiritual gift per se, but I think I am created to be an encourager.

I have a friend who went through one of the biggest challenges of his life a few years ago where a literal gift of life was what was needed to save him…he called me his cheerleader during that time of his journey.

That struck a chord in me…I doubt he knew I had been a cheerleader in junior high…I doubt he knew how I coached and cheered elementary girls on in a Girls on the Run program…I doubt he knew I paced the sidelines waiting for my son’s and the others I enjoyed watching run by me in track, go up to bat, steal second base, or stand the line in football awaiting the next play…

But he knew anyhow…because I chose to encourage him through words, texts, and songs.

I didn’t feel I did much then but yet I know NOW that when I am compelled to say SOMETHING to someone in an encouraging way I can no more stay silent than I can stop my next breath.

” We cannot change other people. They have to make a personal decision to come to faith…They have to travel that road for themselves. Your part is to make that road appealing and easy to travel. You can do that by sharing your own story of hope with them. Simply tell them how God has met a need in your life.”~365 Most Important Bible Passages for Mother’s.

Making a path clear and appealing looks like going ahead of someone and sweeping away the debris that clutters the road; giving a warning of a possible danger that could harm them like a hole or a root or even a snake (!); pointing out the beauty of the area as we journey along together..we all know some paths are tedious-so joy on the journey makes for much better company than grouchiness!

Telling others our faith sounds so scary when the pressure is on us for something to come out of that sharing..but telling others of what encourages us is rather easy and actually kind of fun to share because it is for the purpose of being there with them in that particular moment.

It lifts my spirits to lift yours with encouragement.

Be encouraged today, my friends.

May your path be more clear as you see the beauty around you instead of staring at the hazards or worry about the unknowns.

“Your God says~ Speak kindly to the people”- Isaiah 40:1

I am reading John 9 and the story of the blind beggar being healed by Jesus.

The story starts with John telling us that as Jesus walked through the city He saw the man who had been born blind. This man was not like others whom Jesus had healed that cried out to Him for help, who were carried into His presence by friends, or who surrounded Him as He taught.

It is as if this man had accepted his fate, his trial, his troubles..but Jesus saw him.

The disciples then asked him, I would assume maybe because Jesus paused to look upon the man who could not see Him in return with compassion, why was he born blind? Was it because of something his parents did wrong? Or a sin of his own?

In essence- they were asking why does bad things happen for no reason sometimes??

Jesus answer was perfect: it was not because of a sin or for a punishment…it is for God’s glory to be revealed in his life.

The reality is that innocent people suffer. If God took all our suffering away when we asked Him to, would we worship Him for who He is or would we follow Him for comfort and convenience?

That question leads into the next part of the story- the healing.

One would hope that once healed this man’s life would get easier…he should be able to get a job, have a life finally instead of sitting around begging for his existance.

One would hope that Jesus would just heal him…poof! Like magic.

Jesus chose to spit in the dirt to make mud to rub on his face.

I am an RN. Let me tell you, as a person who works with mucus daily, we do not want that rubbed on us..especially someone else’s spit.

Remember, this man is blind…he cannot see Jesus face to know compassion is in it…he may not even know who this Jesus is because he is a man who sat off to the side waiting for scraps from the public.

This man is probably sitting before a man that just rubbed spit-mud on his face.

The healing process was messy.

How many times do I want Jesus to absolve me of my suffering with a snap of His fingers?

How many times do I ask for a removal of my pain without asking for the strength to endure the process of healing?

Again, as an RN, I see wounds heal…but sometimes the process is messy. Believe it or not, we still use leeches…maggots do eat dead flesh…we scrape off loose skin…we make cuts, put tubes where tubes do not belong, and we ask people to measure their body fluid, weigh them daily, and put patients into strange physical positions…all for the healing process.

It is not always pretty…fast…painless.

Neither was it for this blind beggar.

Next comes the part where he is healed…he should be rejoicing and people should be celebrating with him, right? He was healed after all…

But…Life seemed to get messier after the healing.

He was singled out, not for celebration, but for questions.

His identity, who he was as a person, was suddenly up for debate.

His family was brought forward to confirm whether or not his suffering all those years had even been real…had he been faking his blindness just in case a man came along to put spit-mud on his face to “fake heal” him someday?

Was his whole life a ruse? A lie?

Was his suffering not as bad as it seemed? Had he been overly dramatic?

He was ridiculed instead of celebrated.

His life suddenly got more complicated instead of easier now that the supposed barrier to a full, happy life was removed.

Interesting isn’t it?

What he always thought was keeping him unhappy and isolated was finally removed and yet…things (life) was still hard.

I ask myself…has healing from my spiritual, emotional, physical wounds made my life easier? Or messier?

I finally get what I want…like this blind beggar…a release from my suffering…but life is still complicated. My healing has seemingly brought its own issues…

This blind beggar was thrown out of his church for choosing to believe in the One who healed him….who released him from his bondage of suffering.

This blind man was thrown under the bus by his own family because they did not want to get into trouble on his account- they had been the ones who watched his suffering the closest and longest- from the moment it began at his birth…and yet…they refused to acknowledge the miracle for what it was on his behalf.

So here he is…alone, rejected, still a cast out, still isolated but healed.

Except now he sees Jesus and chose to believe in Him who heals even when the healing didn’t look as picture perfect as maybe he had imagined.

Intead, it pointed to the Healer…to give God the glory…

…it was not about the blindness at all…

It never had been.

This story tells me that either in my suffering, and believe me- I suffer, or in the resolution of what causes me pain my situation can bring glory to God for that is the purpose of my existence.

It is NOT for me I live…it is because of HIS breath in my lungs I am alive. It is for HIS glory I live for I am His creation….I am His.

In my suffering or in my healing…I am a light to display Christ.

Food for thought this morning as I process my own desired healing..

Here is a morning “aha” from my NIV Life Application Study Bible based on the passage from Colossians 3:15 to let the peace of Christ rule in your heart.

To rule is like an umpire at a baseball game…the one calling the shots, making sure things are fair, but not the one playing the game although closely observing while often greatly criticized.

Our hearts are what need to be ruled by peace.

~Our hearts are the center of conflict because there our feelings and desires clash: hopes vs fears, distrust vs trust, jealousy vs love.

How can we deal with the constant conflict and live the way God intended us to live??

We have to make a choice…we need to choose between the conflicts..

How??

By using the RULE OF PEllCE:

Which choice will promote peace in our souls, our churches, our homes, our schools, our workplaces, our communities?

Promote does NOT mean give peace to the situation, not does is guarantee peace in the conflict…but to promote it means to push it forward, lift it up, highight it, bring it to the surface…

Remember the umpire who does his job right and makes one team satisfied with his ruling while disappointing the other?

That is the embodiment of promoting peace.

That is the peace that needs to rule in my heart.

This is a rough video from the other night…I have never been recorded before so the fact I am sharing this is HUGE! But, it is a decent message that is worth sharing from Facebook Live.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1904534369579107&id=298075836891643.

I am hoping the link works…here is me being courageous…

This is a little thought about a sensitive issue….friendships.

Once a friend, always a friend?

Acknowledging that friendships do change means disloyalty?

“Often when life journeys us through various seasons, our relationships change with them.”

Many of us, if we are honest, have lost friendships or have noticed a significant distance in a relationship at one or two points in our life. As a person who places serious value relationships, this is a fact that troubles me deeply.

“Changes in friendship can affect us deeply.”

I have taken it as a personal weakness or failure if a friendship has gone to the wayside for one reason or other…I have grieved over this loss many a time in my 4 decades of living.

As with a marriage, it takes two for a friendship to be maintained. It takes commitment. It takes honesty. It takes quality time spent together. It takes a common denominator to hold it together….

But, as seasons change so do we…so what had once held us together may no longer be a factor anymore…and unlike marriage, we are not bound to a covenant to bind us forever together.

“Life experiences provoke personal growth and shift relationships to significant matters of life.”

“So although some friendships change for a season, they can sometimes return and be more fruitful.”

I figure that if I accept the relationship for what it was and what it is- nothing more or less, a real honest evaluation of it- the easier time I have in letting it go to God and trust He will restore it if needed, mend it if required, and return it if His will.

I try to not shut a door in anger on a friendship but instead resolve in my heart whatever hurts or misconceptions I may have carried toward it with the Lord if a season of distance is occurring.

I find if I choose to be thankful for what once was in that friendship, then I can also be grateful for what is, and therefore hopeful for what will be….whether with them or with whomever God sends my way next.

If He brought me such treasures in the package of friends at such specific times in my life, I can trust He will continue to do so.

Thanks to ” The 365 Most Important Bible Passages for Mothers”.

Read more about friendships in Acts 15 about Paul, Barnabas, John Mark, and Silas.

I once learned that we are like Paul…we all need a Barnabas ( a mentor), a Timothy (someone to mentor), and a Silas ( someone to walk like with).

If we properly categorize our relationships perhaps when a season changes we won’t be as surprised due to the nature of the role we had with them. Some may not need to be mentored forever….and you may require a different person to mentor you depending on what you are currently experiencing as well.

Just a thought.

I have mentioned before that I go to Bible College, right? I am sure in an earlier Blog about “trust” that I may have written of the story of why I decided to go…feel free to pursue the library to search for something about “Do You Trust Me”!

So, today, I am casually doing my homework -reading my assigned reading- when WHAM! An insight comes from left field and smacks me!

Unless you are also currently reading Solution Focused Pastoral Counseling as well, you may not get the chance to receive this little nugget of info! Therefore, I feel I am obligated to share it!

God never ceases to amaze me in my Christian life with how creative He is in getting our attention! Time after time He has used my schooling at Nazarene Bible College to give me an “a-HA” moment! It can be through some reading, like today, or through discussions on the assignment board or through an assignment itself.

How many can say that through their education process?!

It is pretty darn cool!

Bringing it back to today, to be honest, I have a headache. I fell sound asleep on the couch during the first part of my reading -I did tell you I am normal right? Think that totally proves it! When I woke up I had/have a tension headache.

Two ibuprofen, Extra Strength Tylenol x 1, peppermint diffuser, and a Diet Coke (sigh…we are out of Diet Dew apparently) and still a headache.

It could be from the extremely long list of things I should have been doing instead of napping whirling around in my head (and if you follow me on Facebook you should remember I started the day with the encouragement from Psalms to be taught to be wise with my time so I may grow in wisdom…let’s just say I do not feel that wise with my time is a great assessment of my day in my perspective).

So, I am now awake with my son walking into the house after his full day at school, and back to the reading I go…with a headache..,,and a to-do list mentally sitting between my shoulder blades…

But this pops out at me and I wonder, if perhaps, I am growing in wisdom after all…

“The Chinese word for crisis is very interesting. It is the word weichi. Wei means danger, and there is great danger in a crisis. But chi means opportunity. What you are going through represents one of the most drastic and abrupt changes an individual can encounter. This kind of change also results in a personal crisis. Keep in mind that in the midst of change there is both danger and opportunity. It is our responsibility to find and use the opportunity side of this loss….You are going to be formed by this crisis. It is up to you to determine how you are going to be formed” ( Charles Allen Kollar).

And there it is for us….a super deep thought meant to be chewed on and pondered! How do I want to be formed, or what do I want to be formed into, when I am in a crisis?

Danger and opportunity…sounds like an adventure!

Psalm 145:13-14 has it all in it today!

AND

Jesus Always by Sarah Young writes this morning that “sometimes  you and I (God) are the only ones who know you have fallen”…

And we can be our own worst critics aren’t we?

The temptation is to either gloss over the issue since no one else is aware of it or to bury ourselves in the shame of the secret of it…

The NIV Life Application Study Bible note writes:

“Sometimes our burdens seem more than we can bear, and we wonder how we can go on. David (the author of this Psalm) stands at this bleak intersection of life’s road

and points toward the Lord…

God is able to lift us up because:

His greatness is unfathomable

He does mighty acts across many generations

He is full of glorious splendor and majesty

He does wonderful and awesome works

He is righteous

He is gracious, compassion, patient, and loving

He rules over an everlasting kingdom

He is our source of all our daily needs

He is righteous and loving in all His dealings

He remains near to those who call on Him

He hears our cries and saves us

If you are bending under a burden and feel that you are about to fall, turn to God for help. He is ready to lift you up and bear your burden.”

All that from two verses- how’s that for coaching?!

Pick which character trait of God you need in life today and cling to it with all you have because HE IS FAITHFUL TO ALL HIS PROMISES!!!

Some days, my devotions are just on point!

I read them and think- I need to remember this or I need to share this somewhere!

Lately, I have taken to social media…which is a fine, decent outlet for a quick thought. As I am learning to maneuver through the “#” and the “@” of the Internet, I discovered that people actually read what I say…even if it is not actually me but a quote I thought to share.

One would think that would make me feel good but it makes me feel strange instead…

I am actually hesitant to share a thought now because I don’t want the attention for it…how crazy is that?! God gives me a Word and I feel like hiding it under a lamp so I don’t achieve mediocre “fame”…so now He doesn’t get the glory…where is the sense in that??

That truly may be something for me to work through some day…hmph.

So, what do I do when I feel I have seen something that hits on point and I feel the burn inside to share it???

For this morning, I am choosing to retreat here to my little blog site of sort of but not quite anonymity…

Sigh.

Here we go, with a thought written by Joyce Meyer and interpreted by me so I can paraphrase it for you- I hope that is not a form of plagiarism…

Closer To God (with emphasis mine)~

“On difficult days it is helpful to be reminded to perservere in order to fulfill the call of God on your life…

<I believe I am called to be an encourager of sorts to all sorts of people…that being a fairly vague and broad spectrum of ministry opportunities, I am often uncertain if what I am doing or feel I want to do has value or is effective… Gotta love doubts, right?>

…He (Timothy the student of the apostle Paul) had reached a place where he needed to be encourage…

<I think it is a fair assessment to say that I need to be encouraged like…I don’t know… every day…>

Paul tells him in 2 Timothy 1:6-7…you may feel like quitting, but I am reminding you of the call on your life. Remember the power of the Holy Spirit that changed your life. He gives you a spirit of power, love, discipline, and self-control….Timothy was encouraged to be stable…”

I was reminded yesterday of what direction I believe the Lord wants me to go but had doubts that it would come to pass..that it was foolish…that it was not necessary…that it did not matter one way or another…

When I summoned up the courage to actually ask a question I really wanted an answer to I actually got not only an answer but also confirmation that I am moving in the direction that I had hoped I would go…

I know that is a vague example, but when you have a desire on your heart, that you believe was put there by God- because where would all these crazy ideas come from that I have floating around in my head if NOT from Him?!-if you sit passively and wait for those things, His promises, to come passively toward you with no effort on your own you will be sorely mistaken.

I will “fail” because I did not do the work…and that is not an option.

I am more than a conqueror NOT a failure!

Sometimes, it takes a phone call to seek clarity to get moving into a new direction.

Sometimes, it takes quitting something that is holding you back to get you moving forward into the direction God has for you (habits, disciplines, a job, relationships even..)

Sometimes, it takes waiting and growing in Him while you wait..even if others seem to be getting what you feel you deserve or desire…

It takes faith when you can’t see.

It takes perserverence when you feel you can’t stand up.

It takes endurance when you think you can’t hold on.

It takes patience.

It takes a support system that loves you, encourages you, builds you up, prays for you, believes in you, cries with you as much as they laugh with you…

“Giving up is only an option for those who plan to fail in life”

In case you hadn’t noticed..I struggle with a lot of things. If you have read any or many of my blogs over this year (it has officially been a whole year since I had the courage to begin writing in this type of venue!), you may have noticed a few things about me: I am too busy, my feelings fluctuate quickly and my writing reflects that, I am insecure and worried what others think of me, I want people to like me, I have doubts about my future…

I am sure there are others to list that you may enjoy pointing out but for now, I dare say, this “short” list will suffice!

As per my usual, my feelings dictate my thought processes lately.

If I am feeling low, my thoughts take me on a journey where I may have fallen short a time or two (hundred).

If I am feeling anxious, then I will find things to worry about and easily become overwhelmed by the multiple tasks in front of me.

If I am feeling angry, I will be looking for a fight somewhere so look out! You may find me aggressively folding laundry or suddenly inspired to wash dishes…

If I am feeling hopeful, then I begin to get excited…

If I am happy, then I am laughing or sitting in ease…

It goes on…and I am sure it is the same for all of us in some way or another.

The problem is that I TEACH others to not obey their feelings…

Ugh.

What a phrase to echo in your head…convicting you…when your feelings lead your thoughts and behaviors down a path the Lord does not want you to go because He knows the pit that path will end in.

However, the more my life has changed lately the more easily susceptible I have become to listening to my feelings.

There is an undercurrent of depression that fights for entrance into my home we are constantly waging against…my husband and I take turns standing guard over the threshold to keep it at bay or to kick it out because it is not wanted here.

We do battle to protect what is ours and will do anything to keep them safe….especially when that war zone is in the spiritual realm fighting to claim victory over what has been covered by the blood of the Lamb already.

That type of enemy attack is sly, sneaky, quiet like a thief, slippery…it comes in the dark of night when all should be sleeping and peaceful…it latches on when all seems well and digs its claws in causing confusion when there should be joy..it spreads like a plague to those around it because it is infectious…

Depression is no joke folks.

But…it is not invincible either.

After another long day of heaviness over my heart, I found joy in the laughter of those God has chosen to place around me.

Why these specific three and why now I find myself frequently asking lately? Is it alright that they bring me this much enjoyment I often worry??

Unfortuantely, I also teach others to quit asking WHY and ask a new question instead like WHAT NOW…

Again…ugh to the conviction!

Darn you accountability!

These three are gifts and my joy…it is what it is… So not why Lord, but instead what now?

I give thanks for them and accept the encouragement that is freely given through them. I receive the peace that is being offered because my Savior loves me…for no reason other than He knows me and made me- warts and all.

In my frustration of doubts, lack of understanding, insecurity, battle fatigue.. When I decide to look at things a different way and casts all those cares to the Lord- I read this and can truly see it:

Do not dwell on the past,beloved. You can learn from the past, but don’t let it become your focus…I am doing a new thing! Be on the lookout for all that I am accomplishing in your life. Ask Me to open the eyes of your mind and heart so you can see the many opportunities I’ve placed along your path…Remember that I can make a way where there appears to be no way”~ Jesus Always Sara Young

Maybe, these opportunities come in the form of fighting depression because it is threatening those I love…but it is also a training for something more as well because so many, too many, do not have anyone fighting for them as they wage this same battle.

Opportunities come in the shape of my uncertainty of my future so I  better trust the Lord for the growth of my own faith…but maybe to also be an example of how to endure when you have no idea what is happening.

I LOVE Isaiah 43:18-19~

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See… I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?? I am making a way in the desert (the dry, barren, lifeless land of your life) and streams in the wasteland ( bringing fresh, forward moving water into what was stagnant and murky).

Look and see what the Lord is doing- He does not slumber nor quit, is always creative and creating…He is always working things for good for those who love Him.

Hallejuiah!

Can a girl get an “AMEN”?!

Forget frustration…I choose to be empowered!

There is a song titled, you guessed it , Majesty.. It  was brought to my attention for perhaps the first time this week:

I have been given permission to share a story…one that I am just not sure I am ready to tell yet…I want to…it is a beautiful story of grace but…forgive me for holding back on all of it just yet.

In the meantime…

There is a lyric in this song that stands out so vividly to me~

“Your grace has found me just as I am…

Empty-handed but alive in your hands…”

I have been a part of a journey…not one I planned for, packed for, or ever saw coming in my traveling future…not one I have particularly enjoyed but, because of the majesty that has come through it, I have not really hated it either.

This journey is about life and death…and what do we do if one desires death over life? What do we do to support that person as a battle is being waged for their life over death?

One word comes to my mind as I look over the course of this journey…

Grace has covered these days, infused itself into the minutes, and carried over into tomorrow…

The next lyric writes~

Here I am, humbled by the love that You give…”

Well, let me tell you what my friends….that is

Standing on this side of the valley- perhaps of the shadow of death itself- I can see so clearly how God has been present and evident through my part of the experience of the dark wandering.

If you have experienced a valley, you know what that darkness looks and feels like:

You feel a weight upon you that is unnatural and will not lift.

There is heaviness in your bones that is not painful but yet uncomfortable whether in sleep or awake.

There is a shadow that lingers over your thoughts- where your deepest fear may reside. You know the shadow is there and what is contained within it…you do not want to step into it but you cannot make it go away either.

There is an ache in your soul that resonates throughout your being.

You are fatigued but cannot sleep.

You are awake but not present.

There is a cry on your tongue that, if released, may exit your mouth in the sound of a guttural scream.

And yet, for those of us who choose to believe, there is…

As I was unable to ever hit any version of REM sleep- I felt rested.

When I thought I could not possibly fight more, hang on longer, stay hopeful- I endured.

If fear threatened to overtake me, especially in my thought life- I overcame it.

When doubt crowded my ability to make good decisions- a sense of certainty was provided.

Courage in the face of panic;  love in place of serious dislike;  forgiveness before the behavior changed and rejection could have been warranted, understood, or justified; patience when the storm would not abate…

That all brings me to the song lyric meaning…

114 days ago my life was radically altered by a notion to love another sincerely no matter the cost to me directly. The opportunity to do so literally walked into my living room and plucked itself on my couch. To do such a task would require great trust in the One who was asking it of me…that He would cover my home with His grace in the form of protection, wisdom, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, and a deep deep love while this journey unfolded itself…sometimes it unraveled in almost horror and other times with an incomprehensible joy.

I stood guard in front of the doorway as the angel of death tried to pass through my house…to win the battle that was being waged over a despairing young soul…and I watched it pass over…we were, in fact,

There is no other explanation for it.

I have watched someone be “sanctified by glory and fire”…

Majesty…

Your grace has found me just as I am

Empty- handed but alive in Your hands…

Forever I am changed by Your love…

In the presence of Your majesty…

I witnessed this.

I heard this declaration in the sound of singing by one who is alive.

We have nothing to offer to One who laid down His life for us…nothing but empty-hands…and because of grace that is more than enough.

I am humbled by Your majesty.