Author: thischicksinpeace

It all started with a simple idea…after living in my house for 15 years, I finally decided on a color to paint my front door. Why not paint it the color of the existing shutters? Seems simple enough.

Oh, I wish.

The color I had so carefully matched to the sample was not exactly the right shade of blue. This, I of course decided, after I had painted not 1 but 2 doors in our house.

Hmmm…easy fix. I will just paint the shutters and the trim to match. Easy-peasy. No problem.

But,  first in my husband’s giving generosity, he decided to change our old fake-brass door knob and lock. This took a much longer than planned hour of his 24 time home before leaving on a trip- a task I am sure he regretted in his head but wisely kept his complaints to himself.

While replacing our locks with something new and fresh, it was quickly noticed that the other side of the door (the inside part) was now very visibly in need of a fresh paint job itself.

No problem…I am now a pro at painting doors! This task I can easily take care of in a quick 20 minutes since I had so wisely kept the paint swatches labeled with what wall was what color and actually had the jars of paint too- I so foolishly thought.

Uh Oh…one problem- I never labeled which color I painted the door. No problem, I thought. I am a smart girl and can make this decision.

I assume you can guess where this is going.

I totally painted the door the wrong color.

AND, while painting, I decided to “touch up” some spots on the wall that needed a little TLC…also with the wrong color.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

So…my simple project has turned into painting shutters and trim, re-painting a door, and now painting a very large wall in my living room-which I assume will mean I should paint the adjoining wall of the same color so they will match correctly.

Did I say I got keys for my new lock yet? Nope. Add that to the growing list of things to do that I never planned to do.

I, like most of you, do not have time for this type of crazy shenanigans in the middle of July! I literally stood in my living room, while my Young Master (the 11 year old) informed me that the wall looks funny—-

and I sighed.

What on earth else is there to do?

There was a time in my life when this would have wrecked me with a capital “W”! I would have slid down the slippery slope into the pile of failure waiting for me at the bottom faster than my wonderful paint job was drying!

I would have been so angry at myself.

This anger would have spilled over into something my kids were doing (or NOT doing as is the case of a no-routine summer vacation) causing me to yell at them in irritation.

I would have been incredibly frustrated that my husband had “left me” home to deal with everything while he got to gallivant around Baltimore (otherwise  called working).

It made me think of how far the Lord has brought me.

And I could not be  more thankful for it.

I shook it off…believe it or not. Even more, I laughed at myself.

Then, I chose to go sit outside and read my devotionals before going for a walk where I listened to praise music flooding my ears.

I have a peace about me that is without understanding…unmerited and undeserving grace is priceless.

So, my wall looks funny, my door doesn’t match my shutters, and I am without time to do anything about it…

and the world keeps turning.

Psalm 26:12 ” I have taken a stand, and I will publicly praise the Lord” (NLT)

Yep..it is 10 pm on a Monday and I am home all alone eating Rice Krispie Treats.  My husband and oldest son are on a mission trip and my youngest son went to a buddy’s house to spend the night so he would have something “fun” to do while I work tomorrow. Little did he know that I would develop a “sweet tooth” craving that would turn into a pan of fresh marshmallow-ey yumminess…

So, while I wait for the calamine lotion to dry on my patches of poison ivy that has taken over my lower legs, I will snack on my tasty Treat and wonder…

My husband is in West Virginia working with a team (couple) who basically goes from place to place organizing mission trip opportunities for places that are in need. Essentially, we pay them to find us housing, arrange for our meals, and connect each group to an assignment that is appropriate for the number of people volunteering and ages.

How does one get THAT job, I wonder?

He tells me how he wishes I was there (for more than cooking duty I am told!) and that I would love this couple. After only a day of knowing each other, they (the couple and my husband) are talking of connecting in Maryland when he is there on business next.

We wonder if there is something that can come out of  connection with meeting a couple like that?

My 13 year old son is there, already thriving…doing things he does not do at home with the kids he is meeting from another state. His building skills are being tapped into as he works on projects alongside and also separate from his dad. He is not “social” focused but “missional” focused while he is there already but his friendly demeanor is bound to make an impact on those he comes into contact with.

I wonder what God will reveal to Him this week and if my son will be receptive to hearing His call?

I have been alone with my youngest (the “Young Master”, remember?) for 24 hours and he has already challenged me with his conversational skills…hitting me right in the “fear spot” when he speaks of desiring the “college experience” instead of being interested in a smaller college option…He is only 11 so I do believe we have some time before any decisions need to be made, but his choice of words at this age already surprises me.

I wonder what he will become?  What his interests will end up being fine-tuned to being?

On Sunday, my pastor continued his sermon topic of Romans 12:12~

 A challenge was  given through a series of questions: are we seeing things from the right perspective? Are we seeing things through eyes of faith? Are we seeing things as they are or as I am?

My wise pastor counseled us to recognize that being faithful in prayer opens our eyes to God’s perspective…and to things we never saw before.

There is a bigger view going on than the limited scope of vision that I am currently visualizing-it is a Kingdom’s perspective, an eternal perspective, the FULL puzzle put together and not the pieces laying on the table.

In the perspective of the future for my family, the more time I spend with the Lord in prayer the more clear HIS vision will become. The more time my children spend with the Lord, the more clear His vision for THEM will become.

Then, I read this

My prayer needs to be for myself AND for my children to KNOW how to discern which is the right choice to make and when is the right time to make it. I need to also pray that God will continue to grow this ability in both me and them.

The 365 Most Important Bible Passages for Mother’s writes this point beautifully: “So often we pray for our children to make the right choices. We want to protect them from the consequences of bad decisions and see them reap the rewards of good ones. Even though we might be able to coax, impose, or control their compliance, the real goal is for them to want to embrace the right choice. Whether our children are two, twelve, or twenty, we can expand our prayers for them to fully understand how to make decisions that honor God” (197).

I wonder?

Nah, I KNOW that God has plans for my family and He is working it out in all of us at the ages of 43,42,13, and 11.

Open my eyes, Lord, in such a way that my faith will be my eyes.

Grow that same desire in my children.

Amen.

P.S. My Rice Krispie Treat is all gone (my piece, not the pan!)

I have not had a time of insomnia in YEARS! I fluctuate between crashing so hard I am asleep before my head hits the pillow (or I leave the baseball field like Thursday night!) and slowly drifting off to dreamland to the sound of an Alaskan reality TV show playing in the background (I vacillate, lately, between Alaska: The Last Frontier and Life Below Zero).

Tonight, however, not so much.

It could be the nachos we had for dinner date-night. It could be the 5 mile walk at 9 pm. It could be the 22oz (I know I should have gotten the 16oz!) Blue Raspberry Freeze from Speedway at 10:30 pm. Heck, it could be from the never-hit-REM-nap I tried to take.

Whatever it is = no sleepy-ville for me!

I have taken Prilosec to counteract the nachos…I  drank chamomile tea to do whatever soothing that is supposed to do…and here I still sit.

I am not anxious. I am not fretting.

I. Am. Awake.

Dan and I went for a “date-night” tonight in preparation for his going out of town essentially for the next two weeks (this coming week on a Mission Trip with our youth group and oldest son; the next week will be for work).

Our romantic excursion took us to Meijer first (those not from Michigan should know it is WAY better than Walmart and holds far more goodies!).

(NOT us, but you get the idea!)

THEN….onto  Home Depot…thrilling so far, isn’t it?

Nacho time next!!!

Here is where it gets interesting…we ate at a place we used to frequent that we have loved for their A-MA-ZING nachos. We also used to partake of certain liquid choices at this said establishment as well…which stirred up some memories of days gone by.

We chose, tea and water- in case you were curious, but then went for a “short walk” in my husband’s description after..

is MY description!

On this walk, we talked about old times and old temptations.

Not EVERYHING from our past was awful, but the good and the bad are so entwined that the common denominator holding it together bleeds into both sides. We drank a lot. All the time, as a matter of fact.

I have often wondered how on earth popping the top off a can of beer could be so darn entertaining but it had to have been because that was all we did with our friends. We played no games really, cards occasionally but not consistently. We watched games sometimes. We ate snacks a lot -I cannot figure out how I did not weigh 300lbs between the beer calories and the snack calories! We talked a ton with people….but what about, I have no idea.

I just know that we were fairly bored until that second or third beer went into us and then the party could start.

What a difference this night was from those Friday nights of our past!

And we feel good.

We are content.

After the police let us back into the park to retrieve our car (apparently the park closed at the vague time of “sunset” -?- and we were locked out of the lot with our car locked in!! Thankfully, two police officers just “happened” to be parked there and just “happened” to have just gotten the keys to this park- that was in another police jurisdiction anyhow- so they could kindly let us in. We thought FOR SURE we were calling someone to pick us up and then having to return tomorrow to get our car!)…anyhow, after we were let into the lot our discussion returned to the Days Gone By…

What if we been drinking tonight and came upon this situation?

What kind of trouble would our lack of sobriety caused with the Police?

What kind of trouble would it have caused between Dan and I?

In the past, something so minor (and without anyone’s fault-except it was NOT a “short walk” like Dan has initially tried to tell me; it was a 90 minute walk that began at 8:30 pm!!) could have caused a major reaction out of both of us. Dan would have been belligerent that someone would have the audacity to lock him away from his car and I would have gone into panic mode: reacting and over-reacting like a crazy person.

We laughed, instead, and said “well… thank God the police are sitting there…as if they are waiting for us”.

We had a ton of people to call who would have enjoyed the laugh with us over the crazy “OOPS” of this situation, we were not harmed or in harms way in any way, and we were still pleased with ourselves over choosing this “little” walk for our Friday evening date night.

Once back in our car and pulling out, I asked the Police Officers if they often parked at the entrance to this park and one answered with “no, we were meeting up here after returning from another call”.

I think God place those young men in our path to help us.

We were rewarded for our good choices.

Leaving the park we decided we were thirsty so we stopped for those darn slushies’…relishing the pure sugar indulgence, we sipped companionably while driving.

It was then that the contentment settled in.

Ecclesiastes 5:19 tells us that being able to accept your lot in life is a gift from God…I do not think I can put a price tag on that kind of gift!

Our life is NOT perfect. We have baggage. We have trials. We are overburdened,  over busy, and over loaded.

But…

we have peace.

We have the love of our Savior that binds us together now.

We have a security that our jobs cannot provide because it is eternity focused.

We have a hope for our future that will not disappoint us because it is grounded in the Lord- no matter what else may come our way.

We saw a piece of paper on our windshield after we drove for awhile…it said “you are NOT ticketed for the offense of parking after hours”…

We had not thought of that even being a possibility and laughed all the harder!

“Days Gone By” can stay gone…I am loving living abundantly today! If you haven’t tried it, it really works!

So…my husband is gone on business during the last week of school for the kiddos. Our oldest is “graduating” from Middle school and turning into a High School freshman on Friday-ugh. Our youngest has his FINAL Field Day on Friday and will be officially a 7th grader after…sheesh.

It is a busy, busy week that has followed other busy weeks leading up to this busy week!!

And, of course, my youngest gets sick with a nasty virus that is going around. Fevers, coughs, runny vs stuffy nose = cranky.

One may say that this could have quite possibly made THIS MOM a little cranky….

I tweeted a quote the other day that I had found in my Bible study notes about Gideon- yes, I am still reading the book of Judges! The quote said “if we’re always looking around for God’s next assignment, we run the risk of ruining whatever we’re doing right now” (NLT Life Application Study Bible 1996 pg 289).

Why is it that when life seems its busiest, we feel we should be doing more than what we are currently doing??? Am I the only one who feels this way??

Here I am, “single parenting” for the week, and my kid is home sick from school, what do I worry about? How can I get a Bible Study going, when can we find time to mentor a young married couple, how do I start an evening worship service, when will I get to see Wonder Woman?

I am trying to determine what should I be doing next instead of looking at what I should be doing now.

Ouch.

It appears that I am actually trying to make myself busier….when all I keep complaining about is how busy I am.

Exactly what is the definition of INSANITY???

Hmmph.

The thing is, I WANT to serve the Lord with all I am and with all He gave me! I WANT to use all these ideas that keep popping into my head to please Him!

I think the problem is….I want to do all that He wants me to do right now….I want to write a book, preach a 1,000 sermons, help start a revival among teens, ease the hurting of the broken hearted, offer hope to the hopeless.

AND

I want to raise my sons to be God-fearing men who will serve the Lord with their lives and careers, to be a great wife to my husband and an attentive daughter to our parents while being a good homemaker, nurse, and student.

Anyone see the problem???

It seems to consist mainly of what I WANT and WHEN I WANT IT.

However, in the instant of a crisis, what is really important suddenly surfaces. In a the presence of a fever, what really matters becomes clear- and it sure isn’t work obligations.

What I realized, that although it is wise to think of the future, it is important to stay in the NOW.

I need to remember that every time I thought I would NEVER be able to “do it all” or “get it all done“, the Lord has provided the time and resources to get things done in a timely fashion. When I have taken the time to look upon today only, and offered today up to the Lord, He has blessed it and my time.

In a fevered child I saw my present. Taking care of him became the priority as was also using that time with him wisely (I made 8 loaves -yes 8!- of banana bread in that unexpected day off from work while he rested).

Today, it was to be present at an out of town Open House for an old friend’s child.  Yesterday, it was to be present with my family of 4 after my husband had been out of town. Tomorrow is reserved for the Lord entirely and I plan to be present with Him with limited distraction while my hubby and kids are gone from the house having a blast at Cedar Point.

So -what does God want me to do?

                       Lead a Bible Study? Probably, but not today. He will let me know when.

                        Preach? Write? Most likely, but not yet. He will provide the opportunity.

                       Go to Bible College? Absolutely, but not this summer.

                        Begin an evening worship service or resume a Bible Study? Maybe but not until a month or so from  now. He will help me work out the details and, in His timing, will bring people to assist me.

                          Parent my boys to the best of my God-given ability? Yes, EVERY DAY with His help. No discussion to be had about it!

I have realized that worrying about what I should be doing tomorrow is robbing the joy of living in today.

I do not think God has given me (or anyone else) ideas of how to serve Him in an effort to keep me  so busy I cannot see the straight path set in front of me. Instead, what I need to do is trust my future to Him and  trust in His timing while living for Him today.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord…

In Judges 3, there is something written that could easily be overlooked. Frankly, this is one reason of 10,000 why I so enjoy the Old Testament! There are many hidden nuggets that jump out only at the precise timing of the Lord! I have read through the book of Judges numerous times and somehow failed to see these simple words: they were left to test the Israelites.

In Judges 3:1 and again in verse 4 this simple phrase is written. Who was left and why was there a need for testing? What on earth does this mean for today’s reader of the Word??

The Israelites had been led through the wilderness by Moses and conquered the neighboring nations of the Promised Land with Joshua. Joshua, then, brought the nation of Israel near Canaan for the people to occupy as was the promise of God. When Judges was written Joshua had died which left the people to rely on the teachings of Moses to remember all that God had provided for them and done for them as a nation.

The people needed to start doing the work of their faith on their own instead of relying on a direct spokesman from God.

God had specifically told the Israelites, through Moses, to completely annihilate the nations that were conquered so there would be no temptation to intermarry or to start using the customs of the existing people- especially the worship of pagan gods. In many areas, this was disobeyed and the Israelites allowed for there to be survivors in the Philistines, the Sidonians,  Canaanites, and Hittites.

In Deuteronomy, it is clearly written that the people were to love and obey God by following His commands. In doing so, they would continue to receive His blessings. If they did not, they were told there would be consequences- curses, even.

So, here we are.

The Israelites let survivors live among them in the land given to them by God. What does God do about that? He decides to use this situation for His good…to allow for their faith in Him to grow as they learn to lean on Him during times of testing. Previously, with Joshua, God had driven out the nations that opposed Israel. Now, He decides to let the nations stay and “use them to test Israel and see whether they will keep the way of the Lord and walk in it as their forefathers did” (Judges 2:22).

We are told in Judges 3 that there were many Israelites who had never seen warfare before: they had not fought in the victorious battles that were waged with Joshua at the helm. They had no idea what a battle with the Canaanites would be like…they had never before experienced the Lord fighting their battles for them. A lesson needed to be taught.

God allowed their enemies to remain living amongst them to give the younger Israel generation an opportunity to stretch their faith and obedience muscles…

Would they follow the commands given to them through Moses or go their own way?

Robert Frost encouraged us to take the road less travelled…but does that mean to go the harder road? Does it mean to blaze your own trail even though wisdom from Heaven has given a clearly marked path? Doesn’t life provide enough challenges all on its own, do we really need to choose a more difficult road?

The end destination may well be the same, but the amount of time taken to get there and the battle scars earned or wounds obtained along the way may not be worth the extra effort.

The Israelites continued to choose disobedience. God continued to use their disobedience to teach them, to test them, to prod at them to look at Him for provision, protection, and guidance. They had periods of rest through the efforts of the “judges” used by God to defend them against their enemies…and then they would falter again. Ultimately, they went into 400 years of exile and captivity with the absolute destruction of life they had previously lived.

Are there issues in my life that God continues to use to test me? To teach me?

It certainly seems I have had the same life lessons handed to me over and over…to test my patience, to teach me compassion, to encourage me to listen, to get me to trust God, to be appreciative and content with what God has given me, to give me wisdom and hone my skills of discernment.

The lessons have come in big and small packages: sudden illnesses, job loss, job insecurity, job stress, financial concerns, relationship issues, future concerns,  a leaky pipe in the camper causing a minor flood, losing an important power chord while camping and unable to purchase another one,  and so on…

How do I respond to the testing is the question…do I react impatiently or with panic? Do Dan and I start hollering at each other? Do I quit my job because I don’t like it right now? Do I despair without hope in sickness or death?

As I seek my memory banks for an example of a response I have had, I am reminded of a terrible time in my life. My husband and I had both given our lives to the Lord and were serving Him faithfully. We were getting ready to leave to chaperone a retreat weekend and to celebrate Dan’s newly testified life in Christ.

I stumbled across a secret he had been keeping from me…a secret that could surface every single fear I had turned over to the Lord after the death of Dee. It could also destroy the trust that had been rebuilt between my husband and myself in the restoration of our marriage.

This was a life-altering discovery.

I confronted my husband immediately and he denied nothing. He confessed that he was relinquishing that aspect of his life to God and had hoped the celebration of the weekend would leave that part of him in the grave as he started his new life as a child of God.

I felt lied to.

The complicating problem was that we still had to go on this trip. There was no way out except to ruin an event for 20+ people who were counting on us. But, to go, we had to take this new reality with us without being able to reconcile it between us as there was no time nor privacy opportunities.

I was absolutely FORCED to make a decision between throwing in the towel, having a fit, humiliating my spouse with judgement and condemnation, quit on him and the life God had rebuilt between us, OR trust that the Lord would use this for His good and grow me in it…

I had an opportunity for solitude the morning after we arrived for the retreat, prior to the coming of the big crowd. I found a cut -out in the sand on the shore of Lake Michigan and sat there, silently listening to the waves crash onto the beach. I sobbed. I cried out to God “WHY? WHY NOW?”  I told Jesus how scared I was; I did not want to lose my husband in the same manner we lost his sister. I confessed that I was so angry to have been put into this situation when I thought we “had put this to rest” a year before.

As I cried and prayed, I continued to stare at the waves that kept coming to the beachfront. They did not stop. There were small ones mixed in with the bigger ones.

 The lyrics from Hillsong’s “Oceans” entered my head as gently as those waves were rolling:

You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown…where feet may fail… And I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes ABOVE THE WAVES…Your grace abounds in deepest waters- Your sovereign hand will be my guide. Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You’ve never failed and You won’t start now.

Trust me, the easy road to choose would have been to stay angry and to doubt every choice my husband had made for the last year.

But, the road of obedience that God had paved for me was the path of forgiveness. I learned once that forgiveness means to choose to stop holding an act against someone. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love keeps no record of wrongs. Colossians 3 tells me to forgive others as God has forgiven me.

I went back to where my husband was waiting for me- he said he had searched for me on the beach but could not find me and was worried. I was sitting in a fairly obvious spot so I was surprised I was not visible to him.  I realized that God had tucked me away so He could reveal Himself to me; so I could be strengthened by Him to do what needed to be done next.

I chose to forgive my husband. In that decision, I also made the choice to trust him- to not lose faith in who he was becoming in the Lord. I chose to be obedient to the commitment I had made in my marriage. I chose to put my marriage and my husband back into the hands where they belonged- the Lord’s.

My husband was shocked. This event forever changed the both of us.

The celebration of his faith in Christ that weekend became one my most prized memories to date…it was beautiful~

Strangely enough, we were tested once more that very same day with an extreme scenario I will name “A Blast from the Past”.

We chose honesty, confession, repentance, and forgiveness pretty much immediately!

“Perhaps God has left obstacles in your life – hostile people, difficult situations, baffling problems- to allow you to develop faith and obedience” (Life Application Study Bible NIV).

What I have found is that when I learn the lesson that particular testing stops…unless I forget the lesson and the Teacher who taught it.

Today is Pentecost Sunday:  the celebration of the day that the Holy Spirit descended onto the disciples who were waiting in the Upper Room of a building in Jerusalem as Jesus had instructed them prior to His ascension into Heaven.

It was kind of a big deal day!

Picture this: the faithful 11 (and most likely Jesus’ mother Mary, His brothers- who had previously accused Jesus of being “crazy”, and others) have just witnessed Jesus Christ LITERALLY ascend into Heaven after He ROSE from the DEAD. In their awe and wonder, they were told to go wait for something “better” than Him to come to them.

This “something” is the Holy Spirit.

As they all gathered together (in the city where He had been falsely accused, tried, and murdered which means those who knew Him were in serious risk of the same outcome) they did what Jesus told them to do- remember Me.

Upon their time of prayer and joining together in the Lord’s Supper, a guest appeared in the form of a great wind and tongues of fire!! This sudden exposure to the supernatural gave them revelations, clarity, and the gift of speaking in languages simple fishermen would never have been able to learn!

That day THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE saw and believed in Jesus Christ! The expansion of the Christian faith began with a bang!!

Like I said, it was a big deal day then….and still is now!

In remembrance of this occasion, going to church has become special for me. I go with anticipation of…receiving something from the Lord….

Today it was the word RANSOMED.

In the song Jesus Messiah the lyrics state that Jesus is the rescue for sinners and the ransom from Heaven.

There is a movie that Mel Gibson starred in called “Ransom”. In it, his son was kidnapped with the kidnappers wanting the father (Mel) to pay 2 million dollars to ransom the boy’s life. To save his innocent son, he would have to pay a large price.

Merriam-Webster defines ransom as a sum of money or another payment demanded or paid for the release of a prisoner.

I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I know He died for me to give me life free from the sin that threatens to entangle me at any moment.

I guess I never thought of it as being ransomed…

I was held captive to the sin that surrounded me. I was a slave to anxiety and worry that caused me to fear so much that I instead attempted to control every detail around me. I entrusted my future to ME. I was in bondage to guilt that I would never be good enough to truly be successful or to make anyone happy- no matter how hard I tried. I was condemned to living a clueless life that had no idea how much I was missing out on if I could look up from my own myopic scope of vision.

I was scared.

I drank too much.

I felt guilty.

So, I drank more.

I was selfish and un-serving; unless I could receive the glory from whatever random act of kindness I performed.

I wanted approval for everything I did and took criticism as a personal failure.

.

I was in chains and did not know it. I was a prisoner in my existence and had no idea that the walls around me that limited me were a prison that kept me enslaved. I thought I would live life the “best that I could” and hope for the best outcome. Yet, I was acutely aware of my faults, failures, and weaknesses.

Where others saw me as fun-loving, friendly, and generous I felt insecure, weak, and unsuccessful. Others have said that what I was doing “was no big deal” because everyone else was doing it…but I felt guilty and foolish most of the time. I got pretty good at hiding my true self…even from me.

Then MY day of Pentecost happened!

The day the Holy Spirit descended on ME I was  given clarity, revelations, and an opportunity to understand things I had no reason to know!

Why???

Because I WAS RANSOMED FROM HEAVEN.

Jesus came down from Heaven, made Himself into a mortal man that would suffer and die and horrible death, to set the captives free…

He was THE PRICE that paid the debt for freedom of all who have sinned and are struggling under the weight of that sin. Romans 6:23 says the “wages of sin is death”…that is a HUGE weight on our shoulders- no wonder it is crippling, suffocating, numbing, blinding, binding…

Once I realized, by the awareness given to me by the Holy Spirit, that I did not have to live under that condemnation anymore, that I was forgiven for every sinful act I had ever committed or would commit again, that I was loved in spite of my short-comings…

                                        I was set free from my chains!

Jesus paid my ransom from Heaven…pretty amazing!

Am I anxious? Do I fear? Do I still seek the approval of others? Am I human???

Yes, to all of these!

The difference is that I am  not HELD CAPTIVE TO THEM ANYMORE! I have been released from that bondage that pulled me into a cycle of sin that I have no desire to enter into again. I have a way out of it now! I have hope that I will ALWAYS have a way out of it!

Once a ransom has been paid, the captive is set free. It would be rare to be taken hostage for a second time -especially by the same captor- unless the prisoner does not change their habits that imprisoned them the first time.

I have to seek the Lord daily and trust that I will find Him when I do.

I have to talk to the Lord, to pray without ceasing about everything I do or care about.

My heart has been changed and purified by the living God so therefore many of my actions are now different. I am living a FREE life in Christ without shackles that hinder my movements any longer!

Hebrews 11 is the Faith Hall of Fame chapter in the Bible. It truly is the “who’s who” in the Bible! Everyone listed was victorious in the face of great difficulties because of their faith in God. They were not relieved of difficulties but victorious in spite of them.

Jesus told us, promised us really, that we would have difficulties…He did not sugar coat our faith in Him by making false promises that “life would be great if we just believe”. Instead, He said you may have even worse problems because of your faith in Me. If He was rejected, beaten, and killed why should we expect to be given a life lived in bubble wrap?

So, if Jesus told us we would have problems, why do we still get so bent when major trials happen? Do we really think that bad things should not ever happen to us?

The crux is if there was no pain, suffering, illness, or death then there would have been no reason for Jesus to come and live among us. It is for those reasons that JESUS CAME. He came to conquer those things that scare us the most! He came to give us a hope for something BIGGER than our pain…a hope for an END to our fear, pain, anguish, hurts, hang ups, habits, illness, weak bodies… a hope for MORE than what this life has to offer and meaning into this life we live in spite of our struggles.

Cling to what you believe! There is so much more to gain when we keep our faith…something more like VICTORY!

One phone call can change everything. One choice can have a domino effect that goes on and on.

Sunday, I was reflecting on how to hear the whisper through the noise of life- not to eliminate the noise but to listen through it to discover what really mattered or what was important…

in that reflection was the realization that the noise was always going to be there (as long as I have breath anyways!) so I needed to work with what I had – and that is a NOISY life!

The kindness I choose to show myself for my efforts and choices to live as abundantly as possible was a key message in the whisper.

The pause happened as I felt the whisper of Truth wash over me… and peace came.

Then my phone rang.

“Amy, can you pray….my dad is being taken to the hospital in an ambulance and I don’t know what is wrong” comes the text from a teenager down the road.

We became afraid her family’s lives were about to change and all who knew her dad were going to be gravely affected by that earthquake.

What choice do I make in that moment?

Pray for her request?

Could I do something more?

Could I go to that kid who was terrified for her father’s life??

A second teenager texts me later that same night while we were comforting this precious girl and her sweet sister-waiting to hear the news of what was happening to their dad.

He informs me of his cousins death from a probable overdose…that young man was 24 years old. The teenager texting is already angry at the world, confused over who God really is to him, and has struggles with feeling alone in his depression.

What choice do I make in that moment- when I was already “preoccupied”?

Should I keep the dialogue going with him for days after this? Is that being too intrusive?

In another moment, a bomb goes off at a teeny-bopper rock concert killing children.

Next, the word comes that an “aging” grunge rock legend from the band Soundgarden commits suicide.

What is happening in our world?

The NOISE is back with a vengeance.

Just when you think you have things somewhat settled or are seemingly handling the crisis at hand, the world falls apart.

In a blink of an eye, in one moment, your healthy friend perforates his esophagus while eating and is being flown from one health care system to a more specialized one for treatment of the diagnosis. His daughters look at you for reassurance that their daddy will be ok…and that is not a promise that I can make.

Overdoses, suicides, depression, terror attacks, illnesses…all every day media blips anymore-until they “blip” into YOU.

Baseball games, homework, even a good solid 8 hours of sleep suddenly seem frivolous because there are hurting people at your fingertips.

Grilled cheese sandwiches and lemonade surfaces as the new priority of the evening.

Divide and conquer my own parenting becomes essential so one parent (dad) can be the “driver” for a neighbor kid to the baseball game who needed a ride (even though we barely know him and are put into a position to meet an urgent need for his family as well) while the other (me/mom) gets to the bedside of their friend to hug his wife and hold his girls as they look on him getting his every breath from a ventilator.

Praying becomes as necessary as breathing.

In a moment, what really matters needs to be realized:

Faith in the Lord to be ON HIS THRONE IN THE MIDST OF ALL THIS CHAOS is all that there is to lean on.

I was jogged out of my fatigue. I was splashed in the face with cold water to wake up and look around to see the Lord’s children that needed to see HIM, in their pain, working for their good.

I came alive in my spirit even though my flesh begged for a reprieve.

I begged for sleep to be sufficient in quality if quantity is NOT going to happen and it was provided.

I begged for discernment to explain the medical aspect to my friend as she tried to understand what was happening to her husband and the words were given.

I begged for time to be able to get to the hospital to see my friend and a ride was suddenly offered to take me so I didn’t have to park my large truck in a small parking ramp!

In a blink of an eye, life changed…and sometimes we can see that the change can be for the better in certain ways if we choose to look hard enough at the situation:

an awareness of who you can count on becomes clear;

how time spent in relationship with someone matters -even if it seems like they aren’t responding to the efforts;

there is a real working power of prayer~ teenagers know they NEED it and that they can rely on it when trouble strikes;

how much we need each other in general.

My friend is still in the 72 hour “critical” zone but he is alive and talking (quietly and minimally) with his family.

The door has been opened for continued conversation and encouragement with not 1, not 2, but 3 teenagers.

The Lord will certainly use ANYTHING that was planned for evil for HIS good- I am grateful for the reality check to wake up to what really matters. I would rather live like that.