Author: thischicksinpeace

Isaiah 43:1-3

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you by name and you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.

When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

NIV

This is truly one of my favorite verses from the early days of being a new Christian. In those days, I inwardly struggled with a new identity in Christ that was different than my friends or husband. Those struggles often turned outward and discord would arise. I frequently felt very lonely and, eventually, fearful for my marriage’s survival.

As time went on, this verse would come to mean different things to me: my marital situation greatly improved with my husband’s salvation, but another circumstance would seem to arise that would test my faith. And then another.

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Over the years, the ebb and flow of life has been dauntingly wonderful in the perspective of the Lord’s love for me and His plan for this world’s redemption.

Without the filter of my eyes of faith, I would say things have been hard. Frustrating. Scary. Uncertain. Painful.

I have passed through the waters.

I have walked through the fire.

I was just saying the other day in a moment of absolute transparency, that I have moments when I wish I could just stop caring…because caring for others hurts. It hurts me in my heart and deep into my bones.

If I continue to be absolutely honest, I have moments where I wish I could be like the nice lady who told me about a good Samaritan:

A healthy man in his forties stopped on the side of the highway exit ramp to assist the young teenage girl who had pulled over with obvious car difficulties. One could assume that he made the choice to help her because he hoped someone would do the same for his wife/daughter/mother/son as he was doing.

Perhaps his act of kindness would be returned if the need arose.

While assisting the girl, he was struck by another car and was left paralyzed from the neck down.

From what I was told, his story did not end with a vibrant, overcoming conclusion. He died early on in his recovery secondary to complications.

The response of the woman who told me the story was “and that is why you don’t help people. It only gets you hurt.“

Yes. It does. But is not helping, not caring for the needs of those around us, really the answer???

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I have had my own physical issues that have threatened to overwhelm me, but the majority of my hurts through the years have come through the relationships I have with other people and their life issues.

If you walk around in this world, you are bound to begin caring for people- even loving them. Things tend to happen in their lives that you cannot dictate nor control…and those things have a way of “intersecting” with your nice, neat little life; more like being t-boned in a car crash.

I am not wanting to sound condescending, but I want to throw some questions out to you~

Did you know that there are people in this world that suffer from mental illness causing serious depression and suicidal ideation or eating disorders? Do you realize that “help” for them is marginal and limited so recovery is incredibly expensive and difficult?

Did you know that there are people in this world, maybe even in your neighborhood, that have cancer? Are you aware that those people suffer immensely, are terrified most of the time, have families that are achingly watching their loved one disappear in front of their eyes, and that there is no real guarantee of a cure or remission so people can actually die from it?

Did you know that there are people in this world, even in your church, that have marital crises that can end in divorce? Did you know that divorce has a domino effect onto the lives all around that marriage and not restricted to their children only? Have you ever thought that the devastating effects of divorce is limited to the two married instead of thinking about every single person who has loved that couple over the years and that “one divorce” can end OTHER relationships surrounding the situation?

Did you know that this world suffers from a serious problem with addiction? Have you considered to think that the “addict” was someone’s child, brother/sister, friend, cousin, or spouse at one point in their life? Have you thought about the possibility that this addict played happily as a child, was rocked by their mother in the night, felt the bliss of a first kiss, or the absolute joy of giving birth to a child of their own?

Did you know that sepsis can end the life of someone in two short weeks? Or that COVID can rip a family apart for months through the isolation of treatment and that person who is ill actually does die alone? Unless they are lucky enough to have their spouse at their bedside for that last breath, but only after she determines to end his life- sustaining treatment in an agreement with the hospital’s grey area visitors policy regarding Covid: you cannot be there when they are sick but you can be by their side when they are dying.

These issues, these specific issues, have broken my heart one right after another as the waves of grief keep surging.

I do care…so I hurt. My heart breaks for those I know…for those I am allowed to be around for this painful part of their story.

The waters we pass through are deep and murky, the rivers we go through have rapids, fierce undertows, and strong currents we cannot swim against, and the fires we walk through are HOT.

BUT~

This verse tells us to FEAR NOT because God will be with us in the waters, that the river water will not sweep over us, and that the fire will not burn us.

Notice that it does not say we won’t feel the effects of the deep, murky water, the strong current with an undertow in a river, nor the heat from the fire.

Notice that it does not say we won’t be IN the water, the river, or the fire.

In fact, it pretty much guarantees we will be in all three at some point in our lives!

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We are told to be UNAFRAID because we have a reason to be confident in the face of treacherous circumstances. This confidence comes from being redeemed by God: He has called us by our name and claimed us as His.

Redeemed is defined as being bought back (repurchased) and freed from what distresses or harms us.

GOD has done that…purchased us as His own and freed us from distress and harm… our confidence is found when our identity is secure as a child of God.

We will not be IMMUNE from the situation or circumstance that causes distress or could bring harm…but we are promised that these conditions will not drown us or set us ablaze:

2 Corinthians 4:8

We are pressured in every way (hedged in), but NOT CRUSHED.

We are perplexed (confused), but not driven to DESPAIR.

We are hunted down and persecuted, but not DESERTED or ABANDONED.

We are struck down, but never DESTROYED.

AMP

See how the passage from the apostle Paul speaks of hardships? The wish to be immune from suffering is nowhere listed…but a certain strength through the suffering is instead offered.

I may feel the pain and hurts that surround me but they will not crush me, lead me to despair, leave me abandoned, or destroy me- there is another alternative!

God is not necessarily offering us a supernatural option that was provided to Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego as told in Daniel 3 (although that is ENTIRELY possible!) which was to walk out completely unscorched by a literal fiery furnace. What He IS offering is Himself, the One who created us and formed us, through the trial.

This passage is written by the prophet Isaiah as a message from God to remind the people of Israel that He had created them and were special to Him. He had redeemed them and called them by name to be a people who belonged to Him whom He protected in times of trouble.

We have also been created in His image and called to take on His name- the name of Christian. His name gives all that is given to Christ; we are coheirs with Him!

I love the song by Jeremy Camp called Same Power as it reminds me that the “same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives in us.” That same power is part of our inheritance!

For God IS the Holy One of Israel and our Savior we do not need to be afraid: His power is alive in us!

“Going through rivers of difficulty will either cause you to drown or force you to grow stronger. If you go in your own strength, you are more likely to drown. If you invite the Lord to go with you, He will protect you”

NIV LIFE APPLICATION STUDY BIBLE

Personally, I am facing a river of difficulty. As waves of grief wash over me, I become more and more emotionally exhausted. The prospect of what it to come is overwhelming and frightening- especially if I dwell on it. That is MY choice: to choose to think about what has not happened yet or what makes me afraid OR what the Lord can and will do through this situation. My choice will determine whether I will drown or thrive within my difficult days.

When I look at this verse, I am reminded of what the Lord has done for me through different times of deep water and walking through flames…those times did NOT destroy me, crush me, lead me to despair, or leave me abandoned.

I may have been bruised or almost broken, but the Lord healed my hurts and put me back together. He also REDEEMED THOSE HURTS and used them for His glory.

What He has done before HE WILL DO AGAIN because I am His and He is mine.

That is MY confidence!

What waters are circling around you that threaten to overwhelm you?

What rivers are you passing through that are threatening to wash over you?

What are the fires in your life that are threatening you with its heat that burns?

FEAR NOT, FOR YOU ARE REDEEMED…YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED BY YOUR NAME AND YOU BELONG TO THE LORD. HE WILL BE WITH YOU EVEN IF THE WATERS SWEEP OVER YOU. THE FLAMES WILL NOT SET YOU ABLAZE IN THE FIRE.

Be UNAFRAID.

Isaiah 41:10

“Do not fear {anything}, for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, be assured I will help you; I will certainly take hold of you with My righteous right hand {a hand of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation}”.      

AMP
                    

This is one of the creme de la creme of Bible verses about becoming UNAFRAID.

It has it all:

• What should I NOT fear? ANYTHING.
• Why should I not fear?
  • GOD IS WITH ME.
  • GOD (YAHWEH) IS MY GOD.

• How will God help me be UNAFRAID??
  • Will STRENGTHEN me
  • Will HELP me
  • Will TAKE HOLD OF ME

• What is so special about His hand that holds onto me?
  • It is RIGHTEOUS
  • It is a hand of JUSTICE
  • It is a hand of POWER
  • It is a hand of VICTORY
  • It is a hand of SALVATION

There is a lot going here to dissect, but first it is important to look into the context of this Scripture before beginning to apply it to our lives.

This book of the Bible is written by the prophet Isaiah. Isaiah was chosen by God to give counsel against foreign alliances to the kings of Judah (Northern Kingdom of Israel). He is well known for his prophecies of the coming Messiah that were fulfilled in Jesus Christ. He also, although his messages from God were of judgment, offered a great hope to the people about God’s faithfulness and mercy even though they continued to disobey His given Law. Isaiah reminded Israel of the covenant made by God that God would never refute.

By the time we get to our passage in chapter 41, Isaiah is encouraging the people after declaring the judgment that is to come upon them~

Isaiah 39:6-8

Listen carefully, the days are coming when everything that is in your house and everything that your predecessors have stored up until this day will be carried to Babylon; nothing will be left.

And some of your own sons (about King Hezekiah) who will come from you, whom you will father, will be taken away, and they will become officials in the palace of the king of Babylon.

Then said Hezekiah to Isaiah, “The word of the Lord which you have spoken is good.” For he thought, ” There will be peace and faithfulness in my days.”

The start of chapter 41, as we move closer to our selected verse, tells of the glory of God~

Isaiah 41:4

Who has performed and done this-

Calling forth (and guiding the destinies of) the generations from the beginning??

I, the Lord – THE FIRST, AND WITH THE LAST {EXISTING BEFORE HISTORY BEGAN, THE EVER-PRESENT, UNCHANGING GOD} – I am HE.”

AMP

So….when He says do not fear anything for I am with you, He means the One who existed before history began is with you.

When He says do not be afraid, for I am your God, He means the EVER-PRESENT UNCHANGING God is your God.

He is constant.

His faithfulness is never-ending.

He keeps His promises no matter what we do in our ups and downs of life- God still works out HIS plan for HIS good and glory.

The God of justice, of power, of victory, of salvation is who strengthens and holds onto me.

Because of His faithfulness we can be assured of His help.

How does this help me to become UNAFRAID?

What do I do when I can’t see His right hand holding me when I am scared? In fact, the fear normally makes me feel alone…whether I am physically or not.

Confession time:

I’m 45 years old and I still have bad dreams.

When I was a kid, I used to seek comfort by waking my mom up to inform her that I had a bad dream and would crawl into bed with her and my dad.

As I got older, that got weird so I would choose to make a nest on the floor beside my mom’s side and would seek the comfort I needed from the space on the floor.

As I got even older, it now felt foolish to go wake up my mom to tell her I was scared so I found I could sneak into my brother’s room and curl up unnoticed at the foot of his bed.

Desperate times man….

As an adult, I smash myself into my husband’s back for confirmation that I am not alone when those dreams haunt me.

Sometimes that stuff worked.

Other times, I needed more.

As a kid, we (my parents and I) decided that it was best if I would read before going to bed instead of watching TV. I learned (the hard way of course) what I read was incredibly important!!

FYI- books about vampires are NOT relaxing!

When the dreams still came, no matter my bedtime routine, there were times when I realized at a very young age that I needed something more.

I took to singing Jesus Loves Me in my head or even with a soft whisper. No matter my age…no matter how far I had wandered from the Lord…I would sing it.

I still do.

“Help me” prayers are great…but, in that kind of moment, they seemed to worsen my anxiety and fear.

Singing the truth of the lyric that “yes, Jesus loves me ~ for the Bible tells me so” has always been effective…soothing…comforting.

Always.

When I am scared or uncertain or discouraged and despairing…I need the simple truth and reminder that I am loved…I am not alone…that the God of power and justice and victory and salvation is helping me.

I can be strengthened…even in the presence of fear.

I can have that assurance because Jesus loves me…this I know…for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong- they are weak but He is strong.

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me.

Yes, Jesus loves me…for the Bible tells me so.

Read His Word. Soak it in. As the Psalm says:

This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your Word has revived me and given me life.

Psalm 119:50 AMP

Be UNAFRAID because Jesus loves you.

Proverbs 29:25

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord will be kept safe.

This is an interesting verse to reflect on.

Does it mean that when we become a person who ‘trusts in the Lord’ they will be kept from harm (kept safe)??

Or could it mean that if harm comes to a person (that they are not safe) that it is because they didn’t trust the Lord enough?

Is it possible to consider that we may have done something wrong in our faith if harm or tragedy were to befall us??

Is it possible to consider that God chooses to let us be harmed because He determined our faith was not up to His standards?

Trust in “man” and you are preparing yourself to be caught in a trap (a snare)…trust in the Lord and you will be kept safe.

I believe there is a significant amount of importance in dissecting this verse…this theology.

Too many people could get lost in confusion that they must not have enough faith otherwise they would not be in a situation where there is fear….that God would not have allowed it to happen if they had enough faith.

Dangerous territory to cross into.

These thoughts position a person to feel abandoned by God, to not feel good enough before Him, or that God is anything other than loving and sovereign.

Let’s look at this verse in a different translation to find better understanding~

The fear of human opinion disables, trusting in God protects you from that
(MSG).

Don’t fall into the trap of being a coward- trust the Lord and you will be safe
(CEV).

Suddenly, the context changes doesn’t it??

This is not a verse like it first seems!

See how important it is to really study the Word?? It is way too easy to take a verse out of context and make it into something IT WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE.

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The book of Proverbs is a compilation of sayings and writings primarily authored by King Solomon. Its purpose is to give wisdom to those who read it…for others to obtain knowledge and then to apply what is learned to their lives.

Solomon is discussing the wisdom of following the advice of a person that could easily -accidently or purposefully- lead someone astray over the wisdom in following the commands of God that will keep a person on the path of life.

The wise counsel that is given to us in this particular verse is in regards to a warning about doing what may be wrong out of fear what others may think if you don’t.

The fear of others opinion is not a fear we have discussed much…as adults, many of us may claim we are not driven or persuaded by the opinions of others.

I don’t think that is true.

Since the popularity of Facebook has grown, we -adults- have become more and more acuitely aware of what others have going on in their lives…and we would be lying to ourselves if we said that we were unaffected by the comparison game.

Before social media became a daily factor for a large majority of us, there was still the component of keeping up with the Jones’s.

Anyone else remember that saying?

Who on earth were the OG “Jones’s” we have all been trying to keep up with?

We have worried about what our houses looked like to other people: is it big enough, clean enough, decorated well enough…can you smell my cat litter, is my furniture shabby because I have two teenage sons that jump on it so my husband says “I can’t have nice things while they are here”???

We have worried about what our cars looked like to others- ever apologize when someone gets in the car because it was “dirty” or “old”??

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We have worried about our kids measuring up to the successes of other kids~ there would not be such a thing as a helicopter mom if this were not true.

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We worry if our kids failures will reflect poorly on us…you know I’m right about this one. It hurts to admit it, but it is true.

We worry what will happen if we speak up or speak out…Political corrected-ness has take over so many of us~ we do not want to become offensive, do we?

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This kind of fear may not be as all-consuming as some of the other areas we have tackled, but it is no less significant.

Worrying what someone else may think of us leads to personal insecurity. When we become insecure we lose sight of our personal value.

And that causes us to become afraid.

It is that fear that becomes the snare that traps us.

Frankly, it is that fear that becomes the snare that enslaves us. A fear that can hold a person captive is a necessary fear to overcome.

Trusting in the Lord will keep you safe…

When I am feeling insecure, I find I am looking inward.

When I am feeling secure, I find it is most often when I am looking outside of myself.

Worrying how I look, how I perform, how I sound, how well do I write….all that is me me me stuff.

I’m stuck in my own head and place my value into the hands of others. Suddenly, what they think of me is what determines my worth.

Anyone else see the foolishness in that???

Yet, I doubt I am alone in doing it. Allowing it. Willingly falling into the snare of that release of what makes me me into the hands of another….Someone who does not know all of me. Someone who may not have my best interest in mind. Someone who does not love me the way I desire to be loved.

The empty abyss of approval found in the number of likes on Facebook can be easily wiped away when another post is seemingly ignored.

I “trended” on Twitter once…it was pretty cool~ not gonna lie. I had over 1,000 retweets on a post I had made (big deal stuff in my little world). I’m not sure why that tweet was such a big deal…but nothing I’ve shared since has come even close to that kind of recognition.

I’m thankful I don’t stay awake at night thinking about all that…but, I do wonder if or when “fame” could cross my doorstep…

It’s sad but true.

I have a dream to be a speaker. I believe that the Lord placed that dream on my heart a few years ago~ let me tell you it had to have been HIS idea because the idea never crossed my mind before! I’m a Registered Nurse for crying out loud!

I’m in school to become a minister within the Church of the Nazarene…I started attending classes to learn about the Bible so I could better explain it and apply it in life and in different teaching opportunities.

I never thought about becoming a pastor before starting those classes…I never thought about speaking the words of encouragement that are on my heart before taking those classes.

When asked about the call on my life the Lord has laid on my heart, I would be embarrassed. Who says “to be a speaker of encouragement”?? Who would declare “God has given me a gift of talking so I believe I am called to speak and tell my story of His faithfulness”?

Who would listen?

And who would listen with a straight face??

I kept silent when asked…ashamed of what people would say or think if I spoke up. In my circle of ministry, people are either lead pastors, children or youth pastors, or worship pastors. I don’t exactly fit into any of those categories.

So I was embarrassed to be so bold as to say what God has called me to do.

Instead I would talk to those I trusted the most about it and would seek earnestly for the Lord to take this dream from me because it seemed silly and impossible.

And then He would give me a glimpse of the possibility. He would provide an opportunity to use my gift.

He would grow my confidence…and that would increase my trust in Him.

Sometimes dreams don’t make sense. Sometimes opportunities seem to be improbable. Sometimes opinions are different from those around you. Sometimes life skills cause you to stand out.

It doesn’t mean your opinion is wrong. It doesn’t mean your dreams can’t come true. It doesn’t mean the opportunities won’t be plausible if you go for them.

The thing is this:

Are you positioning yourself where you are looking only within for your validation?

OR

Are you positioning yourself to trust in the Lord for who He created you to be and to do what He created you to do?

Does your validation come from others or does your value come from who you are in the Lord?

Trusting God and not the opinion of others means I am spending time with God so I know who He is so I can better trust Him with my life.

Trusting God and not the opinion of others means I choose to believe I am who He says I am because I believe He is who He says He is.

Trusting God and not the opinion of others means I am looking for His will for my life and not to others to decide my fate for me because He knows me best as my Creator and Father.

Trust in man and risk falling into a trap…Trust in God and be safe.

Be UNAFRAID.

Listen to my prayer, O God, and do not hide Yourself from my plea.

Listen to me and answer me;

I am restless and distraught in my complaint and distracted because of the voice of the enemy, because of the pressure of the wicked; they bring down trouble on me, and in anger they persecute.

My heart is in anguish within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me.

Fear and trembling have come upon me; horror has overwhelmed me.

As for me, I shall call upon God, and the Lord will save me. Evening and morning and at noon I will complain and murmur, and He will hear my voice. He has redeemed my life in peace from the battle that was against me, for there were many against me.

God will hear and humble them, even He who sits enthroned from old- because in them there has been no change of heart, and they do not fear God at all.

AMP

Anybody who knows me well, knows I LOVE the Psalms! I read through them from start to finish (one to two chapters at a time) daily and seem to find something new to highlight or underline. The Psalms are honest expressions of the authors’ feelings during joyful times, sorrowful seasons, and days filled with deep fear, anger, or remorse.

The Psalms give us words to say when we do not know what to say. The Psalms give us words to pray that we did not know we could pray.

The Psalms offer phrases of encouragement, comfort, and wisdom.

What more do I need to say to convince you to give yourself a Psalms reading challenge? How about I challenge you to try to read one to three chapters a day until you finish the whole book! Just a little heads up, though~ Psalm 119 may be a good one to read over a few days all on its own!

Psalm 55 is written by King David (he is the author of the majority of the Psalms recorded). It is presumed that it was written during the time of his son Absalom’s “rebellion”. Most of us have either had days of rebellion ourselves or have had our kids rebel against us…

Absalom’s situation takes teenage angst to a whole other level…

Absalom is David’s first born son and, for all intents and purposes, was the next in line to be king after David. But, Absalom wanted to be king now. He surrounded himself with people who also believed he should become king and planned an insurrection against his father. One of those people that advised Absalom was David’s good friend, Ahithophel. So, not only did David’s son betray him but so did a trusted friend.

David refused to fight against his son and decided to flee the kingdom. That was not good enough for Absalom- he knew that as long as David was alive, there would always be a chance that David would (and could) reclaim his throne.

Absalom’s “wise” counselors convinced him that the obvious solution to this problem was to kill David. To kill his father.

Psalm 55 is written when David was fleeing from his son and his son’s army…an army that was chasing him down to be killed.

David was running for his life.

David was heartbroken that it was his own son who wanted to kill him.

David had no idea who he could trust now that those he had known had betrayed him.

With that perspective, let us go read through those verses again…

Have you ever been betrayed? Felt like somehow had deceived you for their own gain and benefit?

Have you felt that people were against you or out to get you?

Have you felt that bad things keep happening and there is no escape?

When I look at this passage, I identify with David. No, I have not been usurped by my children for the alpha role in my house nor have I experience a serious form of rebellion in my household. I have not been chased or hunted down to be killed.

But, I can identify with his words of anguish. Let’s go over them together~

First, he is begging with the Lord to listen to him:

Hear me Lord, PLEASE!

He describes how he feels in in distress:

I am restless, distraught, and distracted (ever been there? I sure have).

He describes hearing the voices in his head that sound like an enemy (I know that guy- that voice in my head…the one who tells me I’m no good, a failure, weak..):

there is pressure and trouble weighing down on him.

He says his heart is in anguish...

He says the terrors of death have fallen on him…

Fear and trembling have overcome him…

Horror has overwhelmed him…

If you have faced an illness or waited for a diagnosis, you know fear and trembling.

If you have received a phone call to tell you terrible news about someone you love…you know horror.

If you have sat by a person you care for at a funeral or a hospital and held them as they cried bitterly over their loved one…you know the terrors of death.

Covid has exposed us to horror, fear and trembling, and the terrors of death.

Cancer has exposed us.

Terrorism has exposed us.

Racism and oppression has exposed us.

What do we do to become UNAFRAID?

We must look to what David did in this Psalm~ he is a man after God’s own heart after all.

1. He called upon the Lord.

What is your first instinct when trouble hits? Is it to pray?

2. He trusted that the Lord would save him.

So he not only prayed, but he believed God would hear him and save him. Do you have that kind of confidence? How does one GET that kind of confidence???

We must have a relationship with the Lord in order to have David’s kind of trust…remember how David killed Goliath? His confidence to do that came from years of spending time alone with the Lord as he cared for his father’s sheep- he saw God protecting him from bears and lions…he drew from that well of confidence to pick up his sling shot and step forward to kill a giant.

3. He prayed (complained or murmured even) all day long.

David did not wait for bedtime to pray or for dinner…David did not wait for Sunday morning to go before the Lord. He called upon God evening, morning, and noon.

We can pray a sincere prayer at anytime of day or all day long- it does not have to be fancy or formal. It just needs to be honest. This is a great real relationship with someone so it is ok to be real.

Don’t know what to say?? Guess what…God has provided the Holy Spirit to help with that! Romans 8:26 tells us that Spirit knows our need and at the right time intercedes (speaks on our behalf) with sighs and groanings too deep for words.

4. David claimed a truth.

What has God done in your life? Where have you seen His faithful provision or protection? When have you felt His indescribable presence and been lavished by His love?

We must remember those times when we are afraid. We have an enemy who LIES to us and tells us that we are alone, that there is no hope, that we cannot overcome “this”. If we do not recall the mighty work of our Savior throughout history, HIS story,and in our own lives we will fall prey to those lies.

David said “He redeemed my life in peace from the battle waged against me”. Where have you been redeemed??

5. David confirmed what he knew to be true about God…he declared that God would hear him and do something.

Trust me, I know this seems hard to do when life is hard and there is something placed before you that makes you feel afraid…a giant -like Goliath- perhaps.

Is it the thought of dying?

Is it the thought of someone you love who is dying?

Is it the thought of suffering or watching someone you love suffer while you stand by feeling helpless?

Is it loneliness that scares you?

Is it it the uncertain unknown of what is to come in the future?

These are real issues that causes paralyzing fear.

But we must do something intentional in the midst of that fear. We simply MUST.

Call out to the Lord.

Trust that He WILL save you in HIS way and in HIS timing (which is always for your good to fulfill HIS plan).

Pray to Him all day…when the fear strikes,when the fear eases…do not wait.

Believe that God will hear you.

Remember what He has done in your life leading up to this moment.

Thank Him for listening to you and for doing something about your request.

God is not a genie in a bottle to grant you your one wish…His answer is not always the answer you wish it was.

That does not mean He is not good; it does not mean that He did not hear you.

We do not always understand His ways and will not always know His reasons…and yet we can still trust in Him.

That is why David was considered BY GOD to be a man after God’s heart…David turned to the Lord and trusted in Him.

When we do the same we, too, can become UNAFRAID.

I am sitting in my infusion chair receiving medication to treat my present condition while potentially causing an issue for my future condition.

It is a notion that I had to come to terms with when I made the choice to allow an immunosuppressant, biologic medication be infused into my blood stream every 8 weeks.

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I had to release the fear of the possibility of something adverse occuring in my future in order to best take care of me in today.

I needed to accept that I was making the choice for my present while leaving my future to the Lord.

In that acceptance, I became UNAFRAID.

I find it interesting that I am reminded of that process today as I continue on this quest of becoming UNAFRAID through writing…this 30 day writing challenge has quickly turned into over 90 days!!

On this day, I worry for those in my family who now carry Covid antibodies from having the virus…what will that mean for the future health of my precious loves??

On this day, I worry for the newest diagnosis of my dearest friend who continues to fight mightily against the cancer that rages inside her….what will this mean for her future? For her family? For me as her friend that loves her as much as I would if she were my sister?

I must accept what is for today and leave tomorrow to the Lord. He knows what tomorrow will hold. He loves them more than I do. He loves me too.

• 

That brings me to today’s verse which is found in 1 John 4:16-19.

“And so we know and rely on the love that God has for us.

God is love.

Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the of judgement: in this world we are like Jesus.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love DRIVES OUT fear because fear has to do with punishment.

The one who fears is not made in perfect love. We love because He first loved us.”

That is worthy of reading for a second time.

Here it is from the Message translation~

“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God in us. This way love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgement Day- our standing with the world is identical to Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life–fear of death or judgement- is one not fully formed in love. We though are going to love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

Well-formed love, perfect love drives out, banishes fear.

God is love.

God is well-formed and perfect to drive out AND banish fear.

God in us is what makes us UNAFRAID.

Think about that for a minute.

A little earlier in this chapter, 1 John 4:4, we read the One who is in you is greater than the one in the world.

The One in us is God, the one in the world is Satan- our enemy. Jesus told us in John 10:10 that we have an enemy who prowls around this earth seeking those to lie to, to kill,and to destroy.

This enemy in our world is who and what we have come to fear…it is his influence on our world that has brought illness,death, and evil through sin. This enemy is not in us. This enemy is in the world.

Go back up to the beginning verses of our passage…it clearly says God is in them.

Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

That’s why we do not have to be afraid…the One IN us is BIGGER than the fear as well as the one who causes the fear.

Let me say it this way…my son plays football. When he was 13 he would wear his protective gear and would play well against those who came him. He did well using the gear outside of him to protect him.

Now, he has grown stronger through being two years older, weight lifting regularly, and eating a strict protein-filled diet. He still wears his pads when he plays, but he is stronger inside those pads.

Greater is He inside…

What about the part of all this that says if we have fear we do not live in love?? Does that mean, since I struggle with fear and am afraid, that God is not in me??

NO!

I think it all comes down to living in love.

How do you feel, how does your life look, when you feel loved?

Do the days seem brighter? Food taste better? The impossible suddenly possible?

When we live like we are loved we live differently…more optimistically…with more hope.

We are not living afraid.

The context of this passage adds to the weight of our discussion because it brings an authenticity and a vulnerability we must know to best understand this encouragement that perfect love can cast out fear.

The author is none other than disciple John. John penned himself as the disciple whom Jesus loved when speaking of himself through the biblical book of John. He was one of the “inner three” that followed Jesus the most close with Peter and his own brother James. John is also the man whom Jesus designated to take care His mother while He was dying on the cross~ that honor speaks to the depth of their friendship.

John was with Jesus when Jesus was arrested, tried, executed, and died. John was with Peter on the day Jesus rose from the dead and saw the empty tomb with his own eyes.

John was waiting in the Upper Room when Jesus appeared to them for the first time after His resurrection.

John became a leader in the new Church that was forming and was arrested for preaching the Good News of Christ. While his brother and friends were martyred for their faith, John sat in isolation on an island called Patmos for his punishment. It was here that the risen Lord now seated at the right hand of God revealed Himself to John in a vision. John received a revelation from Christ that he wrote and is now the final book in our Bible.

John loved Jesus. More than that, John was loved by Jesus. John was able to teach, serve, and love others because he was loved by Christ first.

He loved because he was loved.

John knew fear first-hand…he was at the Garden of Gethsemane, after all. He knew the fear of persecution; he watched his brothers suffer and die for their testimony of faith.

Yet, John did not live as if afraid. In fact, he lived his life UNAFRAID.

How could that be?

Because he had seen the risen Lord that loved him.

He had watched his Savior ascend to the heavens to take His rightful place by God…and he was not afraid to continue to live his life as if Jesus was right beside him.

He did that because, as he writes to believers in his 1,2, and 3 letters of John, he knew God was in him and greater was He…

He knew that God is love…therefore, focusing on that could overcome anything.

What do we focus on when we are afraid? Do we reflect on the truth that we are loved? Are we living like we know we are loved?

Have you tried to claim the verse that declares IN PERFECT LOVE THERE IS NO FEAR?

Have you tried, when afraid, to firmly state GOD IS LOVE. GOD IS IN ME. LOVE IS IN ME. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR FEAR WHERE THERE IS PERFECT LOVE?

Have you tried to be thankful, to feel loved, when worry, anxiety, or fear are knocking at your door?

Being thankful dispels anxiety.

It really does. I cannot think about what I am worried about if I am thinking about how thankful I am for something else.

Reminding myself that I am loved, right here and now- just as I am, allows me to feel safe, secure, and UNAFRAID.

Don’t ever forget that you are loved as well and become UNAFRAID.

Colossians 3:12-17

Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as member of one body you are called to live in peace.

And always be thankful.

Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom He gives.

Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.

And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

NIV

The United States of America is in turmoil this evening of January 6, 2021. We are on the eve of a new President being sworn in and the “old” President not wanting to concede. That conflict, as well as the rest we have experienced over most of 2020, has led to an almost coup of our Capitol.

I am 45 years old and I have never seen such blatant disrespect of a governmental system.

The only question on my mind is “what will tomorrow look like?”

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Watching my country split itself into pieces is heartbreaking and terrifying. We have no idea how much more bloodshed is going to occur in peoples desperate effort to “be right” and to “have their own way”.

What will the fallout of an unmasked, non-socially distant riot be while still in the throes of a global pandemic??

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There is much to be afraid of these days…

There is still so much uncertainty of our future as we deal with Covid as a people.

Many are dealing with other life issues that produce fear as well…awaiting a diagnosis, waiting for treatment to start working for an illness, job insecurities, marital crisis’s, financial burdens.

A new year normally represents a new hope for something better or different~ yet, this new year is beginning to feel like a carry-over from 2020.

So much has happened that has opened our eyes to the hurting, the injustice, the oppressed…how do we close them now that we can see?

So much has happened to bring awareness to the cracks in our many systems, from schools to law enforcement to social. The cracks only get larger as more time goes by without the proper repair work effective enough to correct what is wrong.

It is scary to think about what is wrong in our world. Frankly, a day like today makes it impossible to not look ahead without some trepidation.

• 

However, our quest is to become UNAFRAID. I’m thankful the goal is to become.…that means there is an ongoing process at work. It means we have not yet reached our goal. In fact, we may not ever be 100% successful in accomplishing our task as long as we live on this side of Glory.

• 

But we can still try…

And keep trying…

And keep trusting….

And keep believing that we CAN be unafraid…that we CAN overcome our fears…that we DO NOT have to be held captive to them.

Today, the encouragement from this verse, looks different than some of the others that we have read through. Today’s verse encourages us by giving a strategy that helps us to live for God daily…As we have learned in previous blogs, what we focus on- what it is we choose to think about- has either a positive effect on our overall well-being or a negative consequence.

Making a conscious choice to live for God daily puts our focus on Christ and OFF of what it is that troubles us…stresses us…causes fear.

In an era where we have News Channels available to us 24/7 and global information at our fingertips through our Smart Phones, it is easy for the turmoil of life to consume us. We far too easily have access to the details of events that are happening throughout the world as well as to “Dr. Google” who can over or under diagnose our every ailment.

It has become a necessary choice to distract ourselves from the world, instead of being distracted by the world.

We used to have to intentionally tune in for local or global event information…now, we have to intentionally tune out.

In our Scripture passage, the apostle Paul gives a list of ways to keep our focus on God~ away from fear. He is writing this letter to the church in Colosse to combat an infiltration of religion relativism into the church- believers who were trying combine elements of paganism and secular philosophy with Christian beliefs. His goal, in his letter, is to affirm they have all they need in Christ.

The list he provides us with keeps our focus on our Provider:

“Remove the head coach, and the team flounders; break the fuel line, and the car won’t run; unplug the electrical appliance, and it has no power.”

NIV Life Application Study Bible

When we stay connected to what Christ offers us we function at full capacity, we work well with others, and we have the provisions from the Spirit to complete the tasks set before us.

So, after reading our verse again, what is this list???

1. Imitate Christ’s attitude of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness.
2. Let love be the guide for your life.
3. Allow God’s peace to rule in your heart.
4. Be thankful.
5. Keep the Word of God in your heart.
6. Reflect Jesus with your actions, words, and attitude.

I think a good part of the verse to remember- especially in regards to allowing God’s peace to rule in your heart- is to make allowance for other people’s faults. It does not mean that we all have to agree and differences in opinions must be eliminated, but that we need to love each other in spite of our differences.

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Another thing I would focus on is that in order to keep the Word of God in my heart, I best be reading the Word of God on a regular basis. I need to KNOW it in order to recall it: that requires effort of my part to meditate on it regularly.

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When reading the Bible, I learn about the character of God…He shows me who He is through His Word.

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Knowing Him allows me to trust Him.

When I trust Him, I believe what He says is truth.

When He tells me to FEAR NOT, then I can be UNAFRAID.

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Focusing on God helps me to live for Him…living for God has me living like Him, treasuring His peace, cloaking myself in His love.

Suddenly, I am covered in armor to embolden me to face the unknowns of civil unrest, illness, grief, dissention, and financial worries.

I do not have to be afraid because I choose to be thankful in the only one I need to save me: Jesus.

• 

The next verse we are going to be looking into is one of my absolute most favorite Scripture’s ever! It is one I refer to on a regular basis, one I have prayed with my son in prevention of having bad dreams, one I encourage others with, one I remind myself of frequently.

Needless to say I am quite thrilled to be able to dig into this one as a means to become unafraid!

Philippians 4:8-9

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

NIV

Ever hear the old adage of “GARBAGE IN, GARBAGE OUT“?

This Scripture makes me think of that saying…meaning, what goes in your mind is what comes out.

Do you believe that you can control your thoughts?

Do you believe that you can choose what it is you are thinking about?

Do you believe that what you choose to put into your mind in your free time has consequences of both good and bad?

Let me give you a small example of what I mean~

I used to love watching Law and Order: SVU. In fact, I loved watching it most in the evening before I went to bed. Actually, it would usually be the show I would choose to fall asleep to while watching using the sleep-timer.

Eleven years ago, my sister in law died. With her death, my anxiety shot through the roof! I was suddenly worried about absolutely everything and found little solace outwardly.

As I learned how to maneuver through the grief journey I was on, I discovered that there were things that I could do to control one aspect of my life: my sleep pattern. My anxiety created frequent bouts of insomnia (something I do still battle occasionally). When I looked at my overall habits, I started to see the different things that I was choosing to do that were potentially adding trouble to my grief.

One thing stood out: my bedtime habits.

Perhaps, for me, it was not the best idea to end my day and begin my slumber with watching crimes committed by the worst of the worst in society for “entertainment”.

One day I made the choice to watch Everyone Loves Raymond instead. I found I much preferred going to sleep with a smile on my face than fill my mind with horror stories of crimes committed against the innocent.

Since then, I have made the conscious choice to change my reading styles from murder mysteries to things much lighter…my movie selection away from thrillers and violence. Actually, I choose to not watch things that could trigger my grief either- why force myself to be sad when there is so much around me that can make me sad all on its own?

I have made the choice -in an effort to fight my anxiety- to put only good things in my head (especially when thinking in the context of entertainment).

As I wrote in my last blog (Unafraid: Day 22), the book of Philippians is written by the apostle Paul to the Christian church in Philippi while he was imprisoned in Rome. Day 22 was a reminder from Paul to REJOICE ALWAYS as a way to become unafraid and today, Day 23, we are shown the way for the PEACE OF GOD TO BE WITH US.

While he is in prison, Paul encourages us to REJOICE and to think to about GOOD things and then the peace of God will be with us.

Garbage in, garbage out.

What do you think about when you are afraid?

What do you think about when you are sad?

What do you think about when you are anxious or angry?

If you are anything like me, then your thoughts are probably consumed by whatever IT IS that makes you afraid/sad/anxious/angry.

If I am afraid, let’s say of the potential of a mouse in my kitchen due to my cats suspicious behavior as they stare unmoving at the oven drawer, it is very difficult for me to focus on anything else.

If I am anxious, let’s say of the high probability that I told my husband the wrong dates off from my kids school for a mini-vacation that is already paid for and now I have to let my spouse in on my “little snaffoo”, it is hard for me to think about the best case scenario option when the “obvious outcome” is going to be disastrous.

If I am angry, let’s say when I feel I have been misunderstood and therefore misconstrued to another, it is near to impossible to let it go.

When I am focusing on my fear, continuing to think about the worst case scenarios, and refusing to let an issue go I AM NOT IN PEACE.

Your turn…

What are YOUR thoughts spinning around about?

Loneliness?

Illness in you or another?

An unanswered prayer?

An unfulfilled dream?

Regrets?

What you have lost or never had?

Your pain?

Your grief?

Your discontent?

None of those things are bad to reflect on…we must deal with our situations after all…we must face them to heal…to forgive…to move forward.

However, reflecting on your circumstance is not the same as keeping your thoughts on your circumstance.

What do I mean by that?

I’m so glad you asked!

When I am afraid that there is a mouse in the kitchen, if I choose to keep my thoughts on that possibility, panic sets in and I accomplish nothing. How do I know that? Because I am terrified of mice and have run to my bedroom in shear terror too many times over a possibility!!

Now, this morning for example, my precious duo of Henry and Bitty (Bella Cat) were keeping strict watch on my oven. I CHOSE to get my cup of coffee and go sit down in the living room for my devotion time with the Lord...in spite of my fear that there was a mouse waiting to reveal itself.

I chose to focus on something else other than my fear.

It is a small example, but why is the lesson any less applicable to a bigger scenario? I can CHOOSE to shut my blinds if I am afraid someone may be looking inside my window… I can CHOOSE to distract myself with an activity that brings joy on a better day when I am afraid of a diagnosis that I am waiting to hear the results about…I can CHOOSE to think on something PURE, LOVELY, or ADMIRABLE instead of what is is that is causing me fear.

In my anxiety over the unknown, I can CHOOSE to think on what I know is TRUE, what is RIGHT, and what is NOBLE.

I can spin on my hamster wheel of bad thoughts for quite a while, but when I choose to get off it or to jar myself out of the habit, it is then, and only then, that I begin to feel the peace of God that Paul speaks about.

I am no Apostle Paul. Nor am I imprisoned awaiting for my death sentence for preaching the Gospel. I am not separated from my loved ones by anything more than a mask and a virus. I am free to speak my beliefs.

I can say with the confidence of someone who admires Paul, however, an encouragement such as his:

Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me- PUT IT INTO PRACTICE.

Why not give it a go?

Take a look at the last 22 studies we have done on being UNAFRAID…have you been able to put anything into practice?? Have you tried?

Because, here is the crux friends…

If you do…the peace of God will be with you.

Take captive your thoughts.

Think on good things.

Rejoice always.

Practice what has been preached.

And then?

Live in peace.

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I have had a week~ let me just start off by saying that!

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I am going to warn you…if you decide to dig deep into a study about something, be prepared to be tested on whatever that biblical study topic is! We do have an enemy folks: one who lies, kills, steals, and destroys. This enemy will go to all lengths for you to NOT have peace and for you to stay permanently and paralyzingly AFRAID. So, if a particular study is happening about becoming UNAFRAID, then be prepared.

That being said, a battle is being waged and I am on the winning side with the ultimate victor! However, I am picking up some battle scars along the way. There is no promise of an easy life, my friends. In fact, we were told by Jesus that we WILL have troubles. He even told us that what was done to Him would be done worse to us for believing in Him…BUT the reward comes in knowing Him, being loved by Him, being comforted by Him, by being guided by Him. No enemy does that! Only a Savior would.

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I have experienced fear this week that consumed my thoughts even when I was not consciously thinking them- know what I mean there?

Those are the thoughts that settle in tension around your neck and shoulders. It is the stress that settles in your stomach making it feel sour 100% of the time. It is the sort of worry that won’t let you sleep, but keeps you exhausted. It causes bad dreams…or “busy” dreams where you wake up more tired than if you worked an 8 hour shift.

Yep.

That’s been me this week.

The culmination was an absolute fatigue that finally overtook me for about 36 hours where I could do no more than wake up from a nap on the couch only to go to sleep in my bed for the night.

Rough stuff.

One word folks: COVID.

It entered my house.

It entered my husband.

It made itself real.

It made itself personal.

Before I worry you, my husband is FINE. He is recovered with only a small nagging cough remaining. However, my hospital trained, RN mind has taken me down rabbit trails of fear I dare not mention here…

I have NOT been unafraid.

What I have been doing, though, is fighting the fear.

We must not overlook that, friends. The path to becoming UNAFRAID is to intentionally fight the fear that makes us afraid.

The path to becoming UNAFRAID is to fight the fear that makes us afraid.

That brings me to today’s verse:

Philippians 4:4-7

REJOICE in the Lord always. I will say it again: REJOICE!!! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the PEACE OF GOD, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

NIV

To FIGHT fear we must know what weapons we have at our disposal and how to wield them!!

To best understand these verses and know our weapons of warfare, we must (say it with me) put them into context first.

The book of Philippians is written by the apostle Paul to the church of Philippi while Paul was imprisoned in Rome.

Good to remember that he wrote these words when he was in jail.

What would you write while in jail? Words of encouragement to another or all about your own suffering and what YOU needed?

He was writing to the church to thank them for a gift they had sent to him and to encourage them in their faith.

“Everyone wants to be happy; we make chasing this elusive ideal a lifelong pursuit: spending money, collecting things, and searching for new experiences. But if happiness depends on our circumstances, what happens when toys rust, loved ones die, health deteriorates, money is stolen, and the party’s over? Often happiness flees and despair sets in.

In contrast to happiness stands JOY. Running deeper and stronger, joy is the quiet, confident assurance of God’s love and work in our lives- that He will be there no matter what!

Happiness depends on happenings, but JOY depends on Christ!

NIV Life Application Study Bible note

THIS is the reason for Paul’s letter…to encourage other believer’s, out of his own experiences, of how to find JOY when circumstances demand despair.

We can use these given lessons against FEAR as well.

These lessons can be our weapon.

Let’s break apart this passage and see what gets uncovered!

• Rejoice in the Lord always!

Doesn’t that seem a strange thing for a man in prison to encourage other people to do?? Remember, Paul preaches and teaches from his own experiences with Christ- he would not tell the church to do it if he, himself, were not doing it already. Paul has an attitude that tells us our “inner attitude does not have to reflect our outward circumstances”.

Can you say you are joyful in your circumstance? Can you say that you are rejoicing in the Lord always? If the answer is no, do not be ashamed! It takes work and intentional effort to be joyful…we have to ask God for help as JOY is a gift from Him!

One thing to try (I found this in my Bible’s study note) is to ask God to help you to look at life from a different perspective than where you are currently seeing things non-joyfully from.

• Be gentle…for the Lord is near

We often reflect the mood we are in, do we not? If we are in a “good” mood, most people can tell by our affect. If we are in a “bad” mood, again most people can read that tension as it comes off of us in waves.

Those moods are circumstance dependent. Remember the quote from above about happiness: HAPPINESS IS FROM HAPPENINGS BUT JOY DEPENDS ON CHRIST.

Our mood should be dependent on Christ and not our situation.

Therefore, no matter our circumstance or situation, we should exude gentleness -being reasonable, fair minded, and charitable.

How could that be possible when so many circumstances can be so bad??

Because we are choosing to REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS.

Rejoicing in the Lord for who He IS, puts us into a different frame of mind than what our situation may be trying to demand…it is all about our focus.

(Remember, Paul is imprisoned for being a Christ follower- nothing more– so these words of encouragement to be gentle in an unjust situation are meaningful to him.)

The harsh truth is our rights, our justice, our plan, our issues should never be spoken louder than the GOOD NEWS of Jesus Christ. It is not about ME being right, instead it is about God being given the glory through my actions or my lack of words if necessary for the LORD IS NEAR.

• Do not be anxious
• in everything by prayer and petition (needy request)
• WITH THANKSGIVING
• give your requests to God

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What do YOU do when your anxious?

I think I have the needy prayer request given to God thing down….

Help me Lord

Save me

Hear me

Help them

Heal them

Please, please…

Protect them

Keep me safe

I am sure you can add your list to my own anxious requests…

Do these prayers WORK TO EASE YOUR ANXIETY AND FEAR?

Not. All. The. Time.

Why???

I think it is because I forget the next part…with thanksgiving.

I am to present my requests to God with thanksgiving.

Do I say “thank You for protecting me/them” in advance?

Do I say “thank You for hearing me” before my request is answered?

Do I say “thank You for healing them” before the healing occurs??

Do I rest in thankfulness or do I return to my pleas and petitions?

• The peace of God will guard your heart and your mind…

Have you heard about a peace that passes all understanding??? This is it.

Have you felt it?

Was it in your pleas? Or was it in being still in thankfulness?

Think about that one for a minute.

When have you experienced a peace that passes any understanding that stood guard over your heart and mind?

WHEN?

What were you doing?

Do that again. And again. And again.

Do you want to worry less?

Paul says to PRAY MORE!

But, how we pray is important…with honesty…with rejoicing…with thanksgiving.

True peace is not found in positive thinking, in absence of conflict, or in good feelings. It comes from knowing that God is in control. Our citizenship in Christ’s kingdom is sure, our destiny is set, and we can have victory over sin. Let God’s peace guard your heart against anxiety.

NIV Life Application Study Bible

Coming out of the tunnel that gripped me in fear, I find that thankfulness floods my heart and mind. I am grateful for the Bible verses that did come to my memory when I tried to lay still in bed. I am grateful I had Bible study APP’s on my phone and a sermon to listen to for distraction. I am grateful I had praying friends who checked on me out of concern for my mental well-being.

Now that I am on this side of fear, I can more easily say I am unafraid, but it is not true for the time I was in the dark. However, I KNEW there was Light somewhere and I clung to what I could not see.

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Keep fighting friends.

Rejoice always.