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I hope your Thanksgiving was celebrated by being surrounded by those you love and who love you, lots of laughter, minimal grumbling (let’s be realistic: it happens!- we are surrounded by people after all!), and too much food!

For the first time in many years I found myself to be uncomfortably full but not painfully full.

It’s nice to know I have matured as a human in my 44 years on this earth! I may have finally figured out the holiday meal balance!!!

Or my Bentyl (for my Crohn’s) just works really well! LOL!

As the remains of the dishes sat around my sink and the guests that had filled my house with conversation left last night, I found myself sitting in the quiet….feeling just shy of content.

This morning, as I continue to reflect, I find I am struggling just a little bit more for that peace that lingers in the quiet after a holiday.

I imagine I am not alone in my thinking.

Many of us joined hands at the dinner table to offer thanks….it’s in that moment that we acknowledge who is not present.

Many have lost loved ones, a spouse may be stationed overseas for military duty, or a divorce has completely changed the dynamic in a family causing a break in the unity chain.

The aftermath of the holiday dust settling, the effort to be of good cheer has drained us and we find ourselves sitting in the quiet….reflecting….on what was, what could have been, what we wish it was…

In the quiet I find confusion and doubt lingering in the doorway…trying to shadow my thoughts as my mind wanders.

The questions easily form to ask what now, what could I have done, what should I do next…

I sense thankfulness slipping through my fingers.

That’s where Isaiah 58:11 enters to silence the doubt and secure me with comfort~

The Lord will continue to guide you,

He will satisfy your soul in the scorched and dry places,

He will bring strength to your bones.

You will be like a well – watered garden;

Like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

In the doubts, in the uneasiness, in the wondering I find solace in knowing

my God is guiding me,

ministering to those dry areas of my soul that have been burnt in a fire trying to consume me,

that He is giving me strength all the way into my marrow,

His living water will fill me…

I don’t have to be thankful for all things but I can be thankful in all things for what God has promised to provide: to satisfy, to strengthen, to fill.

May your day be blessed.

Have you ever wondered if you are doing what the Lord prepared in advance for you to do?

Have you ever wondered if you are on the correct path that God cleared for you with one trust step at a time?

Have you ever questioned if this really is the plan??

Have you doubted if it’s you that changed or if it’s what God called you to do that changed??

I am completely guilty of second guessing, over analyzing, and reevaluating where I am, where I should be, what’s the plan, am I on the path, (and my personal favorite) asking are You sure Lord….

I’ve become pretty good at this past time….

Reading my Bible today, I stumbled across a passage in Acts that I had not noticed much before.

In Acts 23, the Apostle Paul has been arrested in Jerusalem. He stands before the Sadducees and Pharisees declaring Christ as the Messiah…the Resurrected King.

The Council of the Sanhedrin doesn’t like to hear that.

In fact, the council becomes so enraged that Paul is suggesting that they not only missed the Messiah but that they crucified Him too, troops are ordered to remove Paul from that place and take him to the barracks where “he would be safer”.

The council was so furious the commander of the guard feared Paul would be torn to pieces by these “God-fearing” Jews.

As Paul is sitting in prison that next night, this happens:

The Lord stood near Paul and said, ” Be brave, for as you have solemnly and faithfully witnessed about Me in Jerusalem, so you must in Rome” (Acts 23:11).

Paul was strongly encouraged by his friends to NOT go to Jerusalem out of fear/concern that this exact scenario would happen…but Paul had felt the leading of the Lord telling him to go anyway.. so he went out of obedience to God’s plan.

Now, though, he must be second guessing this plan…

How do I know that?

Because God came and stood near him to encourage him on to Rome….to stick to the plan.

If Paul didn’t need encouragement in that cold cell then the Lord would not have gone to him, would he?

If he only needed a little encouragement,then God surely would have sent an angel to minister to him…but the Lord Himself came and stood by Paul to administer grace.

“The Lord gave Paul special encouragement at this time, that he was indeed doing just what God wanted him to do” (AMP Study Note).

Wow….that blows me away!!

Sometimes, when we are being faithful to what God has called us to do the path gets murky and the plan looks messy.

It is so easy to begin doubting whether or not we should even be doing whatever it is we are doing.

It becomes easy to be fearful of what else may come along to murky these waters up even more.

It is almost a natural reaction to listen to others who love us and tell us that there may be a different way instead of trusting the plan of God.

There are days when I wish God would come stand by me and say “hang on kid, you’re doing alright…keep walking this way”.

Wouldn’t that be wonderful??

But, you know, I think He does do that for us …just in more subtle ways than He did with His chosen Apostle.

Why else would a verse like this pop out at me in a normal morning reading when it never had before?

Perhaps, it’s because the Lord knows that I need to be encouraged too today.

How about you?

Are you looking for clearer vision on the road you are walking that you feel God has placed you on?

Join me, then, in keeping our eyes open for the ways God reveals Himself to us….

His Word

His Church

Music

People we have been able to bless

Reminders of who has blessed us

His creation

Be encouraged to press on today.

I shared this to Instagram ( @amykay_barber) and the thought continued after I posted…

In the season of Thanksgiving, I think it’s a good thought to remember that we are to “give thanks TO God IN all circumstances”….

The pressure is on to be thankful FOR all things and, frankly, that just isn’t possible as there is much I couldn’t possibly be thankful for.

BUT, I can be thankful IN all those circumstances…

No matter who sits at my table or doesn’t, no matter in illness or health, no matter in conflict or in peace~ I AM thankful to the Lord for His salvation, mercy, grace, forgiveness, and faithfulness.

There my focus must rest.

#1thessalonians5 #thankful #thankfulheart #crohnsfighter #depressionfighter #anxietywarrior #anxietysupport #whatareyouthankfulfor

The picture I shared was taken a few months after the life – altering experience of my husband’s sister death at the age of 41 from liver failure due to her alcoholism.

I don’t know how many of you have lived through the destruction that addiction has on a family …but I can attest to the truth that it is devasting.

It has a domino affect that far surpasses the individual with the addiction and carries its wounds long into the future in the form of scars.

The picture represents a fragment of a family that was blown to bits after her death and trying desperately to cling to something good.

Looking into the faces, a stranger sees smiling faces and children distracted by something better than the idea of freezing a memory.

I see the deep hurt resonating inside me while echoing in my husband.

What you don’t see are her children that are off to the side running through that pumpkin patch …

I can hear them laughing in my mind…

The memory is fresh from that day…

The holidays stir those memories up, don’t they?

Therefore, surviving the holidays becomes important.

How can we when we do ache as we remember those who will not be joining us this year?

By being thankful …

Thankful for the memories.

Thankful we loved them.

Thankful they loved us.

Thankful for a chance to be reunited.

Thankful for those we have gathered around us.

Thankful for the many undeserved blessings given.

Be thankful to God in all circumstances.

He heals the sting of that sacrifice of praise.

I don’t think there is a verse in the Bible that can scare me more than Matthew 12:36~

And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.

I am a talker.

I am an extroverted Chatty – Cathy.

The more nervous I get the MORE I can talk to fill up that potentially empty, awkward space!

I am well supplied with the gift of the gab.

I am the queen of small-talk.

There have been more times than I care to remember that I have walked away from a conversation wondering

should I have said that??

did I say too much??

was that comment or story necessary?

I have been told to “take a rest” from the talking, don’t be so distracting with the talking, don’t talk so much.

I have been criticized for talking for too long….too loud…too often.

The doubts that can plague me after a deep conversation with a person are endless.

The condemnation I fall under after sharing a thought from the Lord is incredibly heavy…I easily feel as if I sound like a “know-it-all” in those moments when I walk away.

Thus, this Scripture is terrifying for a gal like me.

As it should be.

The book of James talks about the power of the tongue – the spoken word.

He describes the use of the tongue as a bridle in a horses mouth in James 3:3~

It guides the WHOLE horse.

He describes it as ship’s rudder in James 3:4~

they are driven by the wind in their sails but directed by a very small rudder.

He describes it as having the power of a fire in James 3:6~

it contaminates the entire body and sets on fire the course of our lives.

But no one can tame the human tongue, it is a restless, undisciplined, unstable evil filled with poison…Out of the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. These things should not be this way for we have a moral obligation to speak in a manner that reflects our fear of God and a profound respect for His law (James 3:8-10).

Talk about a big stinking deal – all this talking!!

Here’s the issue~ I firmly believe that I have been created to speak up. I believe that I have been called to proclaim the Good News of Christ. I believe that I am NOT to stay silent.

With that confidence comes great responsibility! And, I suppose, it is also with no surprise that I would be met with an opposition trying to keep me quiet in the form of my own negative thoughts/insecurities/doubts or from the enemy who does not want to be identified!

As a talker, therefore, I must constantly be checking my heart:

For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart (Matthew 12:34).

The measurement of how effective my words are is in the fruit that comes after~

Either make the tree good and its fruit is good or make the tree bad and its fruit is bad – for the tree is judged by its fruit (Matthew 12:33).

I am held accountable for the words I speak…and, trust me, I do not take this lightly!

I want only good things to pour out from my mouth because my heart has been cleansed and transformed by Christ!

I am slowly moving toward my dream to speak encouragement to the Lord’s people, to breathe His life into them so they can endure this world’s trials….My prayer is that good fruit will be evident as I have been entrusted to use this gift for HIS glory.

We all have been gifts to use that point the world to salvation in Christ and the light of His glory…May we all reflect good fruit as we use them!

Ephesians 2:10

We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared in advance for us to walk in.

Thought I would share my Instagram post here too…

Try to shine as lights among the people of this world as you hold firmly to the message that gives life ~Philippians 2:15

I was talking with an agnostic dad whose 6 year old daughter suddenly had questions about where “we go when we die”…his answer was wherever “we go” (if we go anywhere) it is where everyone goes. He felt uncomfortable with the uncertainty of his answer.

I did not listen to him out of an effort to “convert” him or to challenge his “theology” nor to start a debate. My response was only that my belief is based on a relationship with Christ and for me to live my life as He did- not with pointing fingers or judgment.

If my life reflects Christ and influences others then the next work is up to the Holy Spirit and the individual.

If my life and choices influences for change toward Christ then I am doing my part.

I wish I would have said that my belief gives me the hope that what I do matters in this life and in the next…

The interesting sidenote here is my insecurity. As a minister to be, shouldn’t I have been able to respond to him in a way that would have left him whirling in wonder about this Christ I serve? My doubts (the enemy in my head) scream that I failed here.

But you know what? He is watching me and how I live this “religious” lifestyle I say has transformed me.

He said he did not want to tell his daughter any tall tales that could point her toward the hiprocracy of religion…yet, he felt comfortable to share all this with me in a dark room during a procedure.

In Endoscopy, there isn’t a platform to do more than live my life the way Christ desires for me to do… quietly. The reward I get is being called “religious”…perhaps that’s a seed being planted or yeast in the dough after all.

“Be a light in the darkness”…why do we complicate our efforts with more than that?

#lightinthedarkness #lightoutshinesdarkness #lightoftheworld #philippians #philippians2 #bealight #bealightinthedarkness #fightthedarkness #fightdepression #anxietywarrior

I’ve been thinking about something…

Why is it when we, as a generic group of people, hear that there is only one way to do something we innately rebel against that theology?

Why does it seem that we, again as a generic group of people, would rather ignore the sign or person that tells us the best route to take and instead insist on doing it “our own way”?

Why do we feel as if we know best even if we have no experience of the subject at hand?

Are we truly that rebellious of a people?

For example:

Your dad gives you directions to get to the store. He has seen that construction has stopped traffic through a different option and an accident has blocked another road that could be used- although it loops you far in the other direction before pointing you toward your destination anyway.

He says that “this route I am giving you is the only way to the destination.”

What emotion rises up in you upon hearing that?

Trust?

Or doubt?

How about a sense of “oh yeah, Pops: we’ll see about that” as you go your own way irritated? How dare the man who loves you try to tell you how to do something while seemingly limiting your options that could be more fun.

Does your dad have your best interest in mind or is he a killjoy know-it-all?

John 14:6 says this

Jesus said to him, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father but through Me”.

That ONE verse stirs up alot of controversy…doubt…and anger.

The only way to the Father?

Really?

Seems limiting….and self serving…

God, the Father, loves us so much that He sent His Son to die so we could live eternally with Him.

Through His Son we gain access to a right relationship with a perfect God …

God has given us the way to the end destination and gave us a traveling companion in the Holy Spirit to guide us and yet we balk at the limitation of hearing “THE ONLY WAY”.

If someone told you, or your cell phone navigation system told you, the easiest, shortest, less hassle, no tolls route would you be tempted to say “naaaahhhh, I’d rather go the longer, harder way on my own with no map direction”?

Then why on earth do we feel we can figure out a better way to the Father than through the direction He has given us??

Through Jesus we have forgiveness of our sins, we are absolved (justified) of our guilt and declared free from all things that condemn us {Acts 13:38-39}.

Through Jesus we have peace in our troubles {John 14:27} and the possibility of an abundant life amidst our circumstances {John 10:11}.

Through Jesus we do not have to live in darkness {John 12:46}.

Through Jesus we have a helper in the Holy Spirit to be our Comforter, Strengthener, Advocate, Counselor, Intercessor {John 14:16}.

On our own. ..we have our limited wits, limited vision, limited strength. We also have an enemy who is seeking to lie, kill, and destroy us {John 10:11}- what weapon do we have against a determined enemy who never rests but, instead, waits to pounce when we try to rest?!

In Jesus, I have the Armor of God {Ephesians 6:13-17}.

Acts 13:15

Kinsmen, if you have any word of encouragement for the people, say it.

I am standing to say it~

Be free in Christ

Follow Him

Know where you are going

Know you are loved

I read an analogy about fruit and it got me to thinking…

One of my most favorite verses in the Bible is from 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (go get your highlighter to mark this one in your Bible!)~

We are PRESSED but not CRUSHED;

We are CONFUSED but not in DESPAIR;

We are PERSECUTED but not ABANDONED;

We are STRUCK DOWN but not DESTROYED.

“Mama said there’ll be days like this…” Am I right?

There are those days when you feel pressed on every side- be it grief that is crushing you…job stress that is crashing down on you …a life crisis or family issues that are squeezing the life out of you…

You know that feeling…

You can’t catch your breath.

You can’t take a deep breath.

You just can’t breathe.

The pressure is on.

The vice is tight.

There is no room to maneuver.

It’s not pleasant.

You feel as if there is no way out.

TRAPPED.

The question I want to ask is….what is coming out of you when you are squeezed like that???

If you were an apple in a press….one would assume apple juice would be squeezed out, right?

If you were a lemon~lemon juice.

You get the picture.

The Bible tells us of another kind of fruit: the Fruit of the Spirit.

You may have heard of them from Galatians 5:22~

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Self-control

Sound familiar?

These are GIFTS from God that we are filled with and emptied of as we use them on a daily basis.

They are not of our own merit or doing.

These gifts work best when our own efforts fail us.

When we feel we can’t be loving to someone? The Holy Spirit helps us to supernaturally love that hard-to-love person in our life.

When we feel there is no NO WAY we could show kindness to another because there has been NO kindness shown to us? The Holy Spirit helps us to express a genuine kindness that will surprise even us.

When we think there isn’t a CHANCE we could use any will-power to keep our mouth shut/keep our opinion to ourself….The Holy Spirit is there with a hearty dose of self-control to assist us with the impossible.

This kind of Fruit works best in a tight vice…

So, I ask again….what is coming out of you when you feel pressed??

Are you showing peace in those times?

How about patience?

What about goodness?

When we belong to Christ, we begin to walk with the Spirit…Our conduct, therefore, is empowered by the Spirit (Galatians 5:25).

Therefore, it is possible, in times of great stress, trials, suffering, loss, or pain to reflect the Fruit of the Spirit -which is the evidence of Christ in us.

Our “job” is to ask for help in those hard times. Our “job” is to request a heart check in those days…

We can ask God what does my heart look like when I am in turmoil?

Do I reflect You, God?

Does it look like I’ve been changed by You while I struggling in this situation?

Will people see You in this and be encouraged themselves?

Could I be more loving….kind…good…patient… peaceful…joyful….self-controlled?

Decent thought to munch on today….tell me what you think!

“You’ll notice in this Psalm {Psalm 23} that God not only leads His sheep to peaceful waters but {also} through dark valleys.

When hard times come {not IF but when}, don’t set up camp and stay there.

Draw near to God.

Listen and follow.

Keep moving forward through fear, confusion, sorrow, or pain.

The journey might be difficult and you might find yourself moving slowly- but you never travel alone.

God is right there, protecting you, comforting you, and guiding you out of the dark valley toward a banquet table full of blessings.”

-The 365 Most Important Bible Passages For Mother’s (emphasis and brackets mine).

Whoo! I had a night people….

All looked well going into it~the hubs was home, temperature cool, all was done for the day that needed to be done…

Seemed promising to rest well…

Then HEEELLLOOO insomnia!

She hasn’t been to visit in a long time- and rarely on a Thursday night when I don’t have to work the next day.

You know what I mean, don’t you? She rarely wants to hang out when we can sleep in on a Saturday…instead she much prefers the inconvenience of a Sunday night-knowing you work on Monday..

Drives me crazy!

But, SURPRISE! She showed up unexpectedly last night in the form of massive tossing and turning in the bed!

I decided to head to the couch out of concern I would shake awake my sleeping spouse (yeah right😉) where I proceeded to toss and turn for a bit more.

This time was more interesting than others…my brain decided to put on replay just one small snipit of a Newsboys song (I heard it a 1000 times last night in my head- do you honestly think I can remember the lyric now?!).

That stinking chorus kept playing over and over…I would change my thoughts and BAM! there is was again.

My thoughts were the same…rehearsing a day that is oh, about two weeks away…

I was thinking about the drive.

How would I do this…

How would I do that…

Over and over.

Nothing major folks…truly~ we’re talking high school Homecoming details…yet my brain would not let it go.

I went into my downstairs bathroom that is decorated with Elvis paraphanalia~ wouldn’t you just love to see it?!

On the wall is a picture of Elvis working in a diner with James Dean and Marilyn Monroe.. it’s a picture that needs to be plugged in so the lights around the diner window can “twinkle”.

Let me tell you…at 1 am, they might as well be strobe lights! I felt like I was having a psychodelic experience!

I did not need that at that time.

But, as I watched the lights moving so quickly around the darkened picture, I immediately realized that’s what my thoughts were like- quick, without focus or purpose, bright, seemingly random.

As those lights were frantically bouncing around the frame, I was frantically trying to reign in the impending anxiety rush that threatened me for no known reason.

To be honest- yes, I’m busy. I have tried to get back into a routine that refuses to settle down and cooperate so I can find structure.

Instead, I am left doing one thing today but completely unsure if that will work in next week.

I am forced to stay in today and leave tomorrow for tomorrow.

Not easy to do.

It’s especially not easy to do when your spouse (incredibly kind, compassionate, and very handsome😍) basically says “it will work out…it will be fine…oh well… we’ll see…”

And then sleeps like a baby.

My brain apparently disagrees and works overtime to find a solution to a problem that has not happened yet.

Please tell me I am not alone here in this…

In an effort to be an encouragement, while my world is as crazy-hectic as the next person, this is what I did…

1) yep, I changed my environment

2) when that song came on repeat, I intentionally sang a different song in my head- a slower pace, a soothing lyric, and one of worship. (When I was a kid -or an adult with a nightmare- I usually reached for “Jesus Loves Me”)

3) I recognized what was happening in my brain and refused to be sucked under in the anxiety that threatened to wash over me

4) I claimed the Scripture to take captive my thoughts…I’m in control here, not my thoughts

5) I rebuked fear: Those thoughts can take you places you don’t need to go so I actively said “no” to it

6) I prayed …for sleep, for calm, for stability in my thoughts, for increased trust that things will work out, in thank that I didn’t have much to do the next day

7) I claimed that my morning/day after would not be ruined by this event

A soft blanket, the fan turned on for white noise, my comfy couch…it worked.

Best sleep ever?

Nah.

But, I’m calm today and that is priceless.

I don’t know why I wrote all this…but maybe someone out there needs to know they aren’t alone in anxiety, worry, sleepless nights…

I’m pretty darn human and have plenty of weaknesses..just like you. I don’t have it all together or figured out…

I love Philippians 3:12-14 where the Apostle Paul is talking about himself~

Not that I have already obtained it –or have been made perfect- but I actively press on so that I may take hold of that perfection for which Christ took hold of me.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but there is one thing I do:

FORGETTING WHAT LIES BEHIND AND REACHING TOWARD WHAT LIES AHEAD.

I press on to the goal to win the prize of the call of Jesus Christ.

May we all continue to press on.

I have read the story of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane prior to His arrest, death, and ressurection at least 1000 times in my life.

I am 44 so there are at least 44 Easters I’ve celebrated to have heard the story plus my own Bible reading over the last 10 years…

How is it possible that I missed something??

I assume I have seen this, I have had to have heard at least one sermon on it….and yet, today, it is like seeing it for the first time.

Luke 22:43

>Jesus has been praying for the cup of suffering to be removed from Him before His submission saying “not My will, but Yours be done<

Now an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him.

The Amplified Bible study note says this:

God’s answer to Jesus’prayer did not allow His Son to avoid suffering. However, God did provide angelic help for Jesus to face what was coming. Sometimes, God answers prayer by eliminating trials; sometimes He answers by strengthening us in the midst of them.

Wow.

That is some deep stuff right there.

Jesus knew what His suffering was going to look like….Can you imagine that???

If you knew your situation was coming that caused you pain or is causing you pain…would you do everything to avoid it?

Or pray for strength to endure it and face it anyway?

Our example in life is Jesus Christ.

He is how God chose to reveal Himself to us so we can better relate to Him…so we could have hope that a personal relationship with Him is possible even though we are not holy…

How we live this life is by following in the footsteps of One who faced every trial we face and did not sin.

Jesus was comforted and strengthened so He could endure what was coming…

So many times all I want is OUT of my circumstance. ..

I want healing.

I want restoration.

I want a miracle.

I want relief.

I want the desires of my heart.

And I want it all NOW.

I don’t want to wait.

I don’t want to suffer or watch another suffer any longer than necessary- not one second longer, thank you very much.

I want situations resolved and wrapped pretty- all tied up with a fancy bow.

I can project myself into an assumed future and begin to fear what could happen IF….and then do all I can to make sure “IT” doesn’t.

If “IT” does… then guess what? I get to blame myself because I obviously didn’t take the right steps to avoid it- am I right?

I didn’t save that person from their addictions.

I didn’t take care of my body to fight this autoimmune disease.

I didn’t answer the phone everytime it rang so I failed someone in a crisis…

Suddenly, I am in control and at fault- all because I micromanaged an event when I could have gone a different route.. ~

I could choose to trust what Thy will be done means…

A loving God has a bigger plan that is meant for our good…AND brings INCREDIBLE good things out of things planned by the enemy of this world to harm us.

There is nothing wrong for praying for healing, relief, peace, the desires of our hearts~ the Bible instructs us to take all our cares to the Lord in prayer.

However, trusting in His will becomes key..

When we do we will be strengthened to endure whatever it is we have to face.

If we are constantly fighting against what we think God should do in a situation based on our limited view of the scenario (instead of His eternal Kingdom perspective) then we will miss who He sends to comfort us or what He chooses to use to strengthen us.

We just won’t see it or sense it.

God is the God of miracles, He does heal, He does intersect lives at key moments to bring about radical change ~ my own life has examples of all of that -as does yours too, if you look hard enough.

But, He also allows the suffering to go on as well…and desires to strengthen us through it.

His glory is revealed in both sets of circumstances.

His character is revealed through both.

Our role, especially if you desire peace, is to trust Him through it; receive His strength instead of slapping it away because you want something that you think would be better.

If Jesus required an angel to visit Him then I don’t feel so bad for feeling so needy in times of trial …Because AM I EVER!

I want strength through it so God can be given the glory in my trial and you may be encouraged because of it.

Please feel free to leave a comment or to share this Blog with others! I pray my honesty is a blessing and an encouragement to you.