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I LOVE the Old Testament!

I am scanning through the book of Joshua- let’s face it, I have no idea where the territories are and am not going to memorize which tribe got which land.

I was quick reading and was about to move onto my other Bible reading to see if I could stumble into something less technical and more spiritual meaty elsewhere.

But, I kind of felt the Lord pressing me to be patient and to read just one more chapter….twice.

I came across Joshua 22 and the story of the Offensive Altar.

Never really saw it there before frankly…

As Joshua, the leader of Israel (after Moses), was distributing and dividing the land given to the people by God as He promised (ie: the Promised Land) there were a few tribes that were willing to stay behind and live elsewhere.

Moses, with God’s permission, had given them permission to do so after everyone else was settled peaceably in Canaan.

The time had come for the tribe of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh to return to their homes with Joshua’s blessing.

He reminds them to be diligent in following the Lord and to stay zealous in their faith because it will be hard for them as they live farther away from the rest of God’s chosen people.

The three tribes move on…

As they leave the safety net of the majority and ready themselves to enter their own region of Jordan they decided to build an impressive altar.

When the rest of Israel heard about this, they were angry and ready to go to war against the 3 tribes!

Why? Because God had specifically told them all through Moses and Joshua to not build altars and burn sacrifices at any other place except the Tabernacle.

The tribes of Israel set out for war….how could these three other tribes do this so soon after leaving the Promised Land? Have they already forgotten God???

Eleazar, the priest, went ahead of those ready for war. He went to talk to those from Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh. He asked the obvious question: how could you???

The explanation was given that because of the distance between the three departed tribes and the rest of the Israel nation, they built an altar, not to burn or offer sacrifices, but to be a witness between us and between generations after us. To be a reminder to ALL of us that we are to perform our service to the Lord and NONE CAN SAY WE HAVE NO PART IN THE LORD (Joshua 22: 27).

The three tribes wanted it to be perfectly clear for generations to come that they have promised to follow the Lord no matter where they lived. That altar was never intended to be used as a place to offer sacrifices.

The priest was pleased with their answer and took that response back to the people of Israel where they were also satisfied.

War was avoided.

Joshua 22:34

The sons of Reuben and the sons of Gad called the altar WITNESS; ” For it is a witness between us that the Lord is God.”

A war almost happened because an assumption was made.

The remaining tribes of Israel saw their brothers leave and then saw this altar and presumed the motives to be sinful.

Maybe they did not like or understand why the three tribes wanted to do life differently…seperately.

Not understanding someone can lead to making assumptions easily, can’t it?

We are all guilty of presuming someone else’s motives at some point in our life, aren’t we?

It is is easy to do…especially when we measure the action against our own moral code or life experience.

We wouldn’t do “that” so how could they…

Sound familiar?

Ting a nerve?

“Jumping to conclusions can bring one to the brink of disaster.”

Too many times relationships end because an assumption was made and the truth was never dug out.

I have been guilty of that and have been on the receiving side as well…

People have walked away from me recently who never tried to hear me out…to question my motives to my face… to inquire where my heart was in the matter.

I have also walked away from those who I presumed judged me incorrectly…I became their judge on the matter.

As with the priest Eleazar, we need to stop and find out what is really going on.

This story is an example of communicating before we act.

Those that were in question were the other son’s of Israel…. are those we make assumptions against our brothers and sisters in Christ?

Dowton Abbey had this great quote: “those we love we don’t often agree with.”

Not understanding and not agreeing with someone does NOT mean there has to be discord!

We are capable of agreeing to disagree but agree to still love each other!

Getting to the heart of the matter is difficult and causes us to become vulnerable and open to conflict but having proper resolution due to good communication can prevent a “war”.

It can lead to forgiveness and therefore healing.

It can lead to restoration.

It’s worth a shot.

There is a pretty cool story being unraveled as I read through the Old Testament…it is bringing forward a thought that I am not too sure where the end destination will be…

All the more reason for me to flush that thought out through writing!

The thought that is swirling in my mind is about really asking for what you want…and how asking for it demands courage, will make you step out of your comfort zone, and will take effort.

I guess, in the end, we will see if it’s what you really want~because if it is, then it will be worth the effort to ask.

The story begins with Moses in Numbers 27.

He was dividing the Promised Land into territories prior to the Israelites taking possession of the land- seperated for the families as God commanded (Jacob’s sons were the Twelve Tribes or “families”).

Joseph’s line (remember him? Coat of Many Colors, thrown into a well, sold into slavery, became 2nd in command in Egypt, etc..) continued with his two sons. However, the descendent of Manasseh (Zelophehad) did not have any sons: he had 5 daughters instead.

In the days of the Hebrew Bible, women were not land owners and not did receive any real inheritance from their father at his death. Women were used as necessary helpers to better life:good for breeding, homemaking, and uniting families through marriage.

These five daughters of Zelophehad boldly approached Moses to request the inheritance due to their father saying in Numbers 27:4

Why should the name of our father be removed from his family because he had no son? Give to us a possession (of land) among our father’s brothers.

Moses didn’t know what to do so he asked the Lord directly: God declared that their request was justified.

Not only was approval given to these bold sisters, but God also declared that if a man dies and has no son, you shall transfer his inheritance to his daughter.

THIS IS A HUGE DEAL FOR WOMEN’ RIGHTS IN THOSE DAYS!!

But that’s not the point I am driving to…

Jump forward to Joshua 17.

Moses has died but prior to his death he turned the leadership of the Israel nation over to Joshua as God had told him to do. Joshua was blessed as a leader because he always sought God first in his decision making.

So, here we are in the Promised Land with Joshua in command. His role is to divide up the territories as Moses had previously discussed with the people.

Those same five sisters now had a choice to make: wait and see what would happen with the agreement about their inheritance OR be assertive in an effort to make sure the agreement made stood firm.

They would have to approach a second leader in command to basically ask for the same right to own their father’s inheritance.

Joshua 17:4

They came before Eleazar the priest and before Joshua the son of Nun and before the leaders and said, ” the Lord commanded Moses to give us an inheritance among our brothers.”

Think about those two situations: these women- who had no rights and no voice- first went to MOSES (the man who SPOKE with God) to ask for something that no other woman in history had ever been able to receive (LAND OWNERSHIP).

Pretty stinking bold gals~ if you ask me! Strength in numbers, maybe?? They stood together as a united front and fed off each other’s confidence perhaps??

Still not the point, here, I don’t think…

THE BIGGER DEAL IS THAT THEY HAD TO ASK FOR IT AGAIN…TO A NEW LEADER.

How badly did they want their inheritance?

How strongly did they believe it was theirs to claim?

How fervently did they believe that their father’s line should not be broken just because he did not have a son?

They believed in their cause with everything they were and owned… rejection could have meant death or being cast aside as nothing with nothing.

They took a huge chance with Moses…

They took a huge RISK with Joshua…

Let’s make this personal…

How easy is it for you to ask someone for something you want pretty bad?

It could be a promotion.

A raise.

An opportunity to lead or do something different.

It could be to borrow a car or money or house.

It could be to teach a class, sing a solo, preach a sermon or a conference, change your job schedule.

It may be hard to step forward and ask for it….but most of us manage to do so at some point in our lives, right? Especially if whatever it is matters to us enough.

The hard part would be to ask again…

You mean I have to remind someone that they said I could do, have, or be something but it hasn’t happened yet so I have to humble myself by going to them a second time??

Yup.

You mean because there has been a change in leadership and I have no idea if Leader Two has the same plan of agreement as Leader One…so I have to humble myself by going to them for a second time to know for certain what the plan is for me is??

Yup.

I have a hard enough time reminding the wait staff at a restaurant that I ordered coffee with my dessert when the dessert comes but no coffee…

I find myself saying “nah~it’s alright… I’m good..”

But, dang it, dessert is so much better with coffee!

We don’t get what we want if we don’t ask for it,right?

And we won’t get what we want if we sit back on our laurels waiting for life to happen to us…assuming that people remember our requests or know our desires…

Our relationship with the Lord is in this too…

God told Moses to give the women their land. Joshua knew that. But the women weren’t sure about how Joshua would deal with the agreement.

They could have said to themselves that God told us we would have it. Therefore, because it is ours, we will sit here and wait for it to be given to us.

They could have felt they were entitled to the promise so their work or effort in receiving what was due them was finished.

They could have made assumptions- either positive or negative- and stayed quiet out of fear of their own self worth.

Ouch.

The truth that God has put forward so many promises, but I have to do my part to receive them or bring them into fulfillment.

I have to ask.

I have to remind.

I have to be humble.

I can’t sit back and wait until someone does it for me or it “feels like the right time” for me to finally do it.

I can’t assume something or someone’s role/opinion without knowing all the details.

I HAVE TO DO MY PART.

I admire those women for giving me an example of stepping forward with a request to have something that maybe, in the world’s eyes, I don’t deserve…

I admire those women for showing me that the unseen can still have a voice, deserve to be listened to, and have the same rights to receive something that is being offered- especially if they ask for it.

I admire those women for exhibiting tenacity and not just sitting back to assume something was going to happen to them.

They took a risk by being courageous yet humble to ask for what they wanted.

Jesus said to ask and you will receive…the opposite of that is if you don’t ask you don’t get.

Be bold to keep asking for what the Lord has placed on your heart.

Be confident in the dreams God has given you…and I will strive to do the same.

Who knows? Maybe this time next year, I’ll have what the Lord has placed on my heart as desire because I kept going after it.

To be continued…

My Instagram post is Isaiah 43:2~

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.

That verse led me to the thought that this is not a promise given that we won’t get wet as we pass through those waters…

that we won’t feel the heat as we walk through that fire…

That verse doesn’t suggest a promise for a bridge to be provided to avoid the rushing water…

or a calmer path to take to keep us out of the fire’s way…

The promise of God that is declared by Isaiah is that we will not be alone during those difficult times…

God will be with us.

In His loving presence, we may still feel the effects of the situation, but He will not allow us to be overwhelmed by them any longer as we turn to trust in Him.

Therefore,

BE DETERMINED TO ENJOY THE JOURNEY.

Are you walking through fire?

Are you feeling the rushing current of a river that threatens to pull you under?

Trust in the Lord friend!!Hang on to Him!

Why?

Job 11 says this~

You will be secure, because there is hope!!

So CLING to hope…it is what connects you to God!!

Fight to hang onto it!

Hold on to it with everything you have!

Lamentations 3:22-23

It is because of the Lord’s loving kindness that we are not consumed.

His compassion’s never fail.

They are new every morning;

Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.

Be determined today!

I am reading through the Psalms and have come across a passage that brought a tough question to my mind…

The passage is Psalm 77~feel free to open your Bible to it while we chat for a minute first.

I am reading from the Amplified version lately~to get a new spin on the translation! The study notes in it provide a good commentary that brings historical insight and probing wisdom.. .I am enjoying it’s diversity from the NIV.

The question I find myself asking while reading this passage is this:

Does what I KNOW of God contrast with what I am currently experiencing???

What do I mean by that??

Let me explain…

I KNOW God to be loving, generous, merciful, kind, good…

However, my experiences challenge my thinking when they severely clash with all that He is.

The note in the Bible says that “the more that the Psalmist thought about these things {the things that contrast what we KNOW about God} the more troubled he became”.

The more the writer thought about how different he thought his circumstances were from what he envisioned a Kingdom Life should look like, he became troubled.

One could even go so far to say that he became confused about who he believed God to be.

I think this is a good place to interject that there is an enemy that is fighting for our souls and to destroy us. This enemy is Satan and he is most tricky in the area of confusion. When we are confused about something or someone, we lose trust in what we know to be true.

I confess to being a distracted driver at times. Not too long ago, I was thinking about the task I needed to do next and accidentally turned left when I should have gone straight.

When I became aware of my surroundings, I could not figure out where on earth I was. Nothing looked familiar.

(I was less than 1 mile from my house were have lived for the last 18 years).

I was terrified.

I was confused.

I thought something was terribly wrong with me.

How did this happen? How did I get here? Where is here??

Suddenly, a house and a street sign looked familiar….it was a road I drive on at least 20 times every single week for the last 10 years while taking my kids to school.

But, out of context with what I thought to be true and real, I did not recognize it…which allowed for fear and doubt to easily settle in.

FEAR AND DOUBT ARE THE DEVILS FAVORITE DAGGERS TO STAB INTO US AND TO USE TO IMMOBILIZE US.

Do you see why the more the writer of Psalm 77 focused on what seemed different in his experience and the true character of God the more confused he became??

Fear and doubt…

Verse 2-3~

In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;

In the night my hand was stretched out (in prayer) without weariness;

My soul refused to be comforted.

I remember God; then I am disquieted and I groan; I sigh and my spirit grows faint…

What does the writer do in his confusion?

What do we do when fear and doubt about the character of God settles in- making our souls refuse comfort and our spirits to grow faint?

Verse 6~

I will remember my song in the night; I will meditate with my heart, and my spirit searches:

Verse 11-12~

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; I will remember Your wonder of old.

I will meditate on all Your works an thoughtfully consider all Your deeds…

Verse 13~

What God is like our God?

The writer (Asaph) “did not feel any more at peace, but he made a conscious effort to turn away from his pain and focus his thoughts on the person, works, and wonders of God.”

My life seems to have gotten more complicated since I started to follow Christ and then rise to the call on my life to go into a full time ministry for Him…these last 8 years or so have been met with challenges I never saw coming, never thought would be possible, never imagined could happen to “us”.

It began with my marriage crumbling in front of my eyes as I learned to really trust Christ…I had unspeakable fear in those days of what I could lose and vividly imagined how it could come about…

Fear and doubt became my bedmates…with anxiety a frequent companion.

Talk about the devil immobilizing me in that dark place…

However, I learned how to trust God when the situation seemed hopeless and impossible (dare I remind you that it is in the impossible that God does His greatest work???).

In that time of letting go of my expectations, my hopes and dreams, my visions of security I learned that if God is for me than who could be against me??

I learned about angel armies surrounding me.

I learned about dry bones coming to life.

I learned that a heart of stone could be made into a heart of flesh.

The lessons in those days are what I have chosen to recall in the more recent circumstances…and I remember the faithfulness of God through it all.

He never left me.

He always held me in the shelter of His wings.

He protected me.

He led me through the valley…

Like Asaph, my situations may not be changed and I may not have peace about them…but, when I choose to focus on the person, works, and wonders of God I do have PEACE just the same.

Why?

Because His character is PEACE.

Jesus said “My peace I give to you”…

Where is my focus?

Am I looking at the problem or the Creator?

Good question to think about…

Post Script to those wondering:

We are celebrating our 20th anniversary right now on the beautiful coast of Maine…

Ooooohhh booooiiiiiiyyyyy…..

A convicting passage alert!!!

This one may hurt folks!!!!

😲

Joshua 7 is where I am this morning as I make my way through the Old Testament in my usual chapter by chapter, orderly fashion.

Joshua is the Lord’s successor to Moses for the people of Israel~ HE will be the one to lead them into the Promised Land of Canaan (that the people had been circling for the past 40 years while God provided for their every basic need-remember: even their SHOES did not wear out in those 40 years! ).

The preceeding chapter (Chapter 6) tells of the Lord’s very specific commands for the Israelites to destroy everything that is in the city of Jericho – leaving nothing behind that could lure their hearts away from God .

The story of the walls of Jericho coming down is told in this chapter as is the rescue of Rahab (because of her obedience, she is listed in the lineage of Jesus)!

Chapter 7, however, begins with these simple words:

BUT, the sons of Israel acted unfaithfully and violated their obligations in regards to the things { that were considered “off limits”} under the ban…

THEY TOOK SOME THINGS FOR THEIR PERSONAL GAIN.

This means they disobeyed… We need to be clear that not everyone was disobedient but Israel is a NATION (God’s people) and the NATION was to be set apart as holy and different in the eyes of other countries so God would be given the glory as THE only God.

The “rules” were not given to the nation that “if most of you do as I -God- says then you will be a blessed people”…

Nope.

His expectation was that ALL would be obedient to Him for ALL to receive everything that He had promised.

So when SOME of the people disobeyed, perhaps without many others even being aware of it, God’s anger burned against the NATION of Israel.

Verse 2 tells us that the next city after Jericho to be conquered on their way to Canaan was the city of Ai.

After the army for Israel was chased off in defeat by those in Ai, the NATION felt this:

Verse 5- the hearts of the people melted {in despair and began to doubt God’s promise} and became like water {disheartened}.

So, in the face of disobedience, the people of Israel are surprised that they don’t get to be successful at every turn…getting to win every battle.

I think of our country – the USA….many people believe that the US is truly a “nation under God” and therefore is entitled to receive all the blessings of the Lord without much effort.

People were shocked that 9/11 could actually have happened…that we, as a nation, were somehow immune to such an act of terror.

Obviously, the lessons of Pearl Harbor had been forgotten…

We are not immune to the evils of this world just because we made a pledge of allegiance…

When mass shootings, terror attacks, car accidents, cancer, senseless murders or OD’s happen, do we, too, find ourselves questioning whether the promises of God are true…don’t we? Don’t we “deserve” better than that kind of suffering?

Let’s be honest be with ourselves about that for a minute…

Do we question the character of God…His sovereignty…His goodness…His always present and never failing power…when suffering hits?

Do we think, because this horrible thing has happened, God is punishing us…has forgotten us….has removed His hand from us…?

Sounds a bit like the Israelites if you ask me…

The lesson of the OT tells quite the different story of God throughout all the trials and pain of the Israelite people…the story of the Exodus is proof~

He never left them

He never quit on them.

Even in the hard times that He did not shield them from, He stayed right by them READY to resume their relationship when they were ready to turn their hearts back toward Him.

He asked them, and continues to ask us, for obedience to His plan….His way to do things….

He says, you CAN do it your way…but My way is paved with love if only you will trust Me.

When the Israelites, or us, vear off the straight and narrow path, God does allow the world to affect us… We get hurt…we suffer consequences…we have to deal with being disciplined.

And, even when we are being obedient, we still get affected by the cnsequences of those who have gone their own way.

Doesn’t seem fair if we are doing the right thing, does it?

But, as I said, it was the NATION He chose to set apart…not the individuals.

Moses was not immune to the disobedience of the people.

Joshua lost that battle to Ai….not because HE did something wrong but because they all suffered the consequences of the few.

Here’s the gist of this commentary…

Bad things happen.

That we know.

Sometimes, it is on account of a conseqence to choice we may have made for ourselves. We may have been disobedient to the plan and will of God.

However, other times, we are not being punished. . .we are not forgotten….we are not unseen …we are not unloved….we are not looked over…we are not an oversight when bad things happen to us….we are being affected by the consequences of choices made by others in this world.

We need to remember that we are part of this world that God created and therefore – FAIR OR NOT- we will be affected by those who choose the path not of God.

We are still considered a NATION – God’s chosen people…we have still been made in His image…we are still a part of the world that Jesus came to save…

Remember: Jesus died to save us from the sins that hurt us, lure our hearts away from Him, that take us down a much harder road than He ever wanted for us to experience.

Christ’s death and resurrection are part of God’s plan to RESTORE His people to Him and the way things should be…we were created to live in a garden, remember?

We need to be aware and accountable to our choices…are we being disobedient to what God would have us do??

Frankly, we all need forgiveness on a regular basis.

BUT, this world needs saving too … are my actions in this time of trial, struggle, pain, sickness, grief reflecting a heart that still trusts in the goodness and plan of God or am I like the Israelites where my heart becomes dismayed and distrusting when bad things happen?

It is sobering to think that my response to suffering also has as much an impact on others as does what it is that is causing my suffering….

How Jesus died on the cross brought about salvation before He was ressurected…

How I respond, how the Israelites responded, in the face of defeat or illness or senseless wandering brings glory to God.

The Israelites were THE chosen nation of God…I , and you, are His beloved…we are also to reflect God in all times and situations.

Why?

Why in the pain?

Why in the suffering?

Why in the illness?

Why in sorrow?

Why in the confusion?

Why when we don’t get our way?

Why when the plan isn’t what we thought?

BECAUSE HE IS GOD.

YAHWEH.

JEHOVAH JIRAH.

ABBA.

He is worthy of all the glory, all the time.

It is good to be held accountable to that.

Post note: Chapter 8 tells us that after the people repented, God told Joshua to not be afraid to try again…so Joshua set out to do battle with Ai for the second time and was victorious because Israel was completely dependent on God for success.

Oh REM sleep…why have thou forsaken me??

Ever have “one of those nights”?

The weather is perfect, the breeze is blowing in, the dog is snuggled in, the husband isn’t snoring…you can sleep~but it never feels like you went to sleep..

I am not overly tired this morning – thank goodness!- but I sure feel like I missed out on some serious ZZZZzzzz’s last night.

My thoughts were all a whirl…as were my dreams last night:

one stacked right on top o’the other!

I know SOMEONE out there can empathize! I can’t be alone here!

There is a verse in Proverbs that is paraphrased to say “being too busy gives you nightmares”…

I do believe there is significant wisdom in that!

I wouldn’t say I had nightmares last night but my dreams were not exactly peaceful either.

I am on the cusp of an incredibly busy week….I did not plan things out this way intentionally but it is certainly how things have come together.

If I stay calm, taking life one day at a time, I know all will get done and Saturday will be here without a hitch…

But, MAN, is my dance card ever full!

And my sleep reflects that…

The culmination of my On Call night last night (my phone kept alarming notifications -not exactly a good idea to leave those on when trying to sleep), my over all work schedule, two football games, a cross country meet, an evening meeting, and -oh yeah- it’s my 20th Anniversary tomorrow with a trip out of town I need to pack for as well as clean my house a bit before my folks sleep over to cart the boys around while we’re gone…All that has left me feeling like my bones are dried out this morning.

Well, shoot, guess what verse I read?

You guessed right if you thought of Ezekiel and the dry bones coming alive passage!!

Ezekiel 37: 1-10 tells of God commanding Ezekiel to call out to the pile of dry bones to live and God caused breath to come into them and they stood to life.

This verse speaks to coming alive from spiritual death by the Holy Spirit…but it also is identified as the bones representing those who are despondent, with no hope…

One may say it reflects those who are tired.

Psalm tells us that God’s Word revives us…breathes life back into our weary souls… restores us when we are battle worn…

To those, like me, who are tired today…be encouraged that new life can be breathed into your dry bones today…

What could that look like?

It could be a

fresh perspective…

a hot cup of coffee with the perfect amount of creamer added…

the sunrise….

missing all those red lights and getting the green’s while on your commute…

the right song at the right time…

a good joke to make you laugh…

a tasty lunch…

Be on the lookout for what God can and will use to restore and revive your dry bones today!

I am no expert on veils but here’s a thought…

As a young bride (20 YEARS ago soon!), I wore a veil as I walked down the aisle to my soon-to-be husband. When the time was right, my father lifted the veil and gave me away to be fully loved by another man.

That was a good day😊

When I was uncovered, my husband to be could finally see the face he had come to love~shining in beauty (because what bride isn’t beautiful?!) and hope and with all the love in my heart reflecting from my eyes and face…

He could see me finally.

Veils cover things, right?

I am aware that different cultures use them for modesty…

I know, like maybe for a bride, a veil is used as a cover up to maintain a mystery…

Basically, though, a veil is always used to keep something hidden~not alwas for good, not always for bad…just hidden.

People use “veils” too, don’t they?

We use a smile to cover our heartache ..

We use a headache to cover our insecurities of being out in public alone…

We use a false bravado to cover our fear…

We use laughter to cover our pain…

There is a name for the Lord that I am coming to love more and more .

It is Jehovah Jireh.

THE GOD WHO SEES.
He is the God who sees me.

He sees under and through my veil that I use to hide myself from all those seeing eyes.

And He loves what He sees under my veil that I am using to hide.

2 Corinthians 3:13-17 speaks of the veil that we use to cover who we really are…it also speaks of the veil over our heart that is in place before we turn to the Lord.

When that veil is in place, our hearts become hardened and we cannot see God’s truth.

BUT

When we turn our eyes to Christ, the veil is lifted and we have freedom from the chains that held our hearts in bondage.

With that freedom, we reflect the Light that is now resonating from our hearts.

So, to all of us who have had that veil removed, reflect the glory of the Lord.

Let the world see HIS reflection shining as we grow more into His image.

There is freedom in being who we were created to be…to be who we really are…

Isn’t it exhausting to cover it up all the time?

Put down the veil.

Be who Jehovah Jireh sees you to be.

“Nothing happens to us that escapes God’s notice and care; not a tear falls to the ground that He does not remember. When we suffer, it is a great comfort to know that God is for us- everything that we live for will be put to use for our good”- AMP Bible study note for Psalm 56:8.

You have put my tears in a bottle. Are they not recorded in Your book?? (Psalm 56:8)

2017-2018 was an awfully intense year filled with experiences I never expected to live through…on many levels and for many reasons.

In a way, it was kind of a culmination of the past 10 years all smushed into one year!

All the lessons I had lived through pretty much came to the surface as I attempted to maneuver through each new situation as it came…

I am watching my Facebook memories and seeing the new posts of these last few days and can see the truth of this verse in its entirety.

Ten years ago, this week actually, my sister in law died from her battle with alcoholism. That single,intensely awful experience was the catalyst to transform me into the person I am today.

In that time, ten years ago, I was angry and despondent in my grief…but those unrelenting emotions of pain and despair turned into a passion to never let anyone walk alone in their pain ever again if I could help it.

Talk about the Lord using my tears and never wasting them!!

In a few weeks, after taking a hiatus due to my own need for self-care, I am pleased, honored, and humbled to return to the GriefShare table; offering assistance through my own experience of healing by Christ to those who are hurting.

( FYI: http://www.griefshare.org has listings of classes local to you as well)

That experience of received comfort from the Lord completely changed me and it is not something I can keep to myself!

I have learned and love the acronym for HOPE as something to hang onto and to pass on:

H hold

O on

P pain

E ends

To me that is epitome of purposeful living .. encouraging others to hold on BECAUSE pain ends…I desire to offer them the HOPE I now have.

This year, I see all the posts of high school graduates going off to college…and that is an overlooked yet extremely significant moment in the child’s life but also for the parent.

In our experience of 2017-2018, we found ourselves unexpectedly sending our own graduated high school student off to college…we are parents to much younger boys so this was not an experience we were emotionally prepared for in any way, shape, or form.

Saying “goodbye” and leaving a kid you love (whether by birth or not) was one of the most difficult things I had to do….except for returning home and learning how to live again as a family of 4 in the house.

I had a whole new appreciation for my own parents leaving me 2.5 hours away from home without the luxury of social media and cell phone instant communication!!!!

I wondered often, as I was yet again adjusting to a new normal way of living, why on earth am I going through this???

What is the purpose for this pain???!!!

I didn’t ask to be in this situation. I didn’t look to feel this “maternal” to one I didn’t raise. I never anticipated the experience of ten years ago would have led us to this place.

Yet there I was anyway.

What to do with it all??

Were those tears to be wasted?

No.

“Nothing that happens to us escapes God’s notice and care.”

A year later, I have a compassion and an insight to the heartache of a mother’s heart as her children leave the nest.

This is no simple transformation or transition of a home.

Behind the excitement in a mother’s smile is a heart that is hurting…it is inevitable because letting go hurts.

We have loved, cared for, and protected our children…and suddenly, in a blink, they grow up and move out.

I think I needed to learn that lesson…in preparation of my own son’s moving on soon-maybe…Or, perhaps, to have my eyes open to another mom who is forgotten in the shuffle of life and needs a little TLC herself.

There isn’t a single experience we go through that God can’t redeem,restore, or reuse for His Kingdom and glory…not one.

So, to the mom’s and dad’s who are sending their sons and daughters off into the world this week, I see you.

More importantly, the Lord sees you and every tear that falls to the ground.

To those who are experiencing deep grief because a loved one has died, I see you: Hold On Pain Ends.

More importantly, the Lord sees you and can use everything you go through for His good.

Luke 5 tells of Jesus meeting His disciples for the first time and it’s a story I am reflecting on today…

For the sake of time allow me to summarize it a bit~

Jesus is at the Sea of Galilee and sees these boats just off the shore. The “owners” are washing their nets outside of the boats: He asks them (as He climbs into one) to out the boat a little out from the shore so He can better teach the crowd that has followed Him.

Peter is the man Jesus made this request to.

Peter complied and it appears that he also listened to what Jesus was speaking to the people because when Jesus had finished He told Peter to put the nets back in the water to fish.

Peter said “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing…. but, at Your word, I will do as You say” (vs 5).

The ending of this meeting is that they caught a ton of fish and ultimately Peter, his brother Andrew, and their “business partners”- James and John – all left their jobs and lives to follow Christ.

Cool story.

The points that stand out to me are these:

#1 Peter was doing something already when asked to stop that task and get back into the boat so a virtual stranger could do his public speaking

#2 when Jesus told them to fish again, Peter had already failed at catching anything during the prime time to fish

We are all busy people, right?

There are some days when I am busier than others- no doubt about it!

There are some days when I am so tired ( and maybe discouraged) at the end of the day I just want to finish the task before me and go to bed.

I assume I am not alone in that line of thinking??

Peter is no different. He had just worked his “shift” and was cleaning up so he could go home. Not only had he worked a long day but it was also an unproductive day.

He had caught nothing.

Ever have that kind of day??

Out of the blue, someone you don’t really know but can kinda tell may be a person of importance asks you for a favor…

(We assume Peter saw the crowd of people following Jesus to indicate that He was a man worth helping)

How many times can you say you would agree to stay a little bit longer…do something not exactly on your to-do list….put your fatigue and frustration aside to be nice to a complete stranger??

Peter was as human as you and me… I’ve been that tired and frustrated at the end of a day…I can honestly say I would have sighed a HUGE sigh (with the word “al-riiiigghht” coming off my tongue) as I untied my boat for Him.

Imagine if Peter would have said no or asked Andrew to help Jesus so he, Peter, could go home?

Talk about a missed opportunity to be entirely changed by the Savior!

Instead, Peter helps Jesus with his boat while also sitting to listen to this teacher teach.

What a lesson that must have been, huh?

Next, when Jesus was done speaking to the crowd, He addresses the captain of this vessel personally. He gives the “helpful” suggestion to fish again when the time isn’t even right to.

Don’t you love it when someone who doesn’t do your job tells you how to do your job???

Especially when you are tired and have already had a really bad day at it??

Peter, being Peter, gives a great response in saying “ummmm….we kind of already did that today and didn’t do so well at it…and when we did it was kind of when you should do it.. sooooo, this may not be a good time for it and all….

BUT

Ok. We’ll do it because YOU asked us to”.

Talk about a pride swallowing situation.

They were done for the day people.

They had put their stuff away.

They were tired.

They were sitting on the memory of their failed attempt from earlier.

And here this teacher is asking them to go back at it.

At the wrong time of day to even do it.

I have an extremely strong-willed almost 14 year old son.

He challenges me at every turn and if his mind is set against something he will not budge for anything.

I have learned the art of parental compromise with him in order to keep the peace. The old saying to “pick your battles” is very applicable in rasing him!

He has this fundraiser to do…he is supposed to sell 20 of these things by early September. He is actually quite excited at the thought of the prizes he would qualify for if he sold 30.

This makes him more motivated than I have seen him in a while over a “chore”.

However..

He decided, in his enthusiasm, to canvas the neighborhood one day to become the great salesman he hoped to be.

For him, it meant he actually woke up in the summer at a decent time.. got dressed. . brushed his teeth ... and left the house to go talk to strangers about this great coupon deal he had to offer them.

Pretty awesome stuff!

Here is the however…

another boy in the neighborhood beat him to the punch and all 5 of the houses my son approached so boldly told him they had already purchased the coupon book.

This led him to the assumption that the whole neighborhood had purchased a book so why bother continuing his quest.

I asked- what about our next door neighbor? Maybe Sam did not buy one yet…we won’t know for sure unless we ask him, right?

My son, convinced that this is an absolute lost cause, will not budge or adjust his pride to go ask our neighbor if he would like to purchase this great deal from NIC- not just some kid down the street.

No amount of discussion will change my son’s mind.

He has quit on the neighbor before he really even began trying.

Peter knew it wasn’t the right time of day to fish….he knew he had already failed at his job when it was the right time of day to be doing it.

And yet…

Because of the One asking him, he swallowed his pride and tossed his nets into the sea anyway…

Peter chose to trust and obey the word of God even when the circumstance seemed incompatible with success.

Can we say we are like Peter when we know the Lord is asking something from us and it seems ridiculous or impossible to do it…and just trust and obey in doing it??

I imagine it is easier to be like my young son, who is still trying to figure life out…it is hard to put yourself out there in the face of impending or possible failure, isn’t it?

It is hard to do something when you are tired, frustrated, or have already “failed” at …

Endurance means to keep going..even if the odds are stacked against you…if if you are tired….even if you feel you can’t…even if you don’t think it won’t make a difference. ..

Why?

Because Jesus told us to…

What is the “net” in your life you need to toss over the side of the boat in faith?

Is it something as simple as a fundraiser card or something more significant?

Trust and obey….

The reward for it are innumerable blessings that are not always tangible or profitable in this life… but in Peter’s case it was in more fish than he could handle on his own!

We can’t out give God…and He LOVES to love on His children especially when we are obedient to His word.

Just something to think about….

So…I am reading about fixing my eyes on Christ and the significance of Jesus as part of the Trinity: God, the Father; Jesus, the Son; and the Holy Spirit~three in One.

Jesus said that when we see Him we see the Father…because They are one.

As we live a life in Christ, following in His example, we are also living up to our destiny~ being made in the image of God…

Ok.

As I sit outside in creation this morning, with the sun slightly warming my skin and the wind gently blowing through the trees while the birds are singing around me, I have experienced something.

Bear with me here~

I close my eyes and lift my face up to the sky and breathe deep.

As I am breathing, I am taking my surroundings in…and looking beyond them at the same time.

I am seeking the Father.

I am 44 years old…I have a wonderful earth dad…but I need The Father.

God is sovereign over all things.

He is the Creator.

Picture Him in your mind~ big…wide open arms…enfolding you.

Do you feel safe in your Father’s arms? Do you feel protected?

I do.

Next, I seek Jesus.

He is there for They are one.

Jesus is my Savior.

He loves me.

He is always with me.

Do you feel loved, Beloved? Do you feel hopeful?

As I breathe it all in…I rest in knowing I am loved. I am not alone or forsaken or forgotten.

One more to go…the Holy Spirit is whom Jesus said would be better for Him to go to the Father so the Spirit could be with us.

The Holy Spirit is our Comforter…Counselor…Healer…

As I sit engulfed in the arms of my Father, Jesus is at my side flanking me with love, and the Holy Spirit is filling me with strength, comfort- healing the broken places only He and I know about…He is making me whole.

Three in one…

It is peaceful in His presence.

I am restored there.

My prayer is that you will be too.