Proverbs 29:25
The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in and puts confidence in the Lord will be exalted and safe.
I have a confession.
I am a people-pleaser.
It is quite possibly one of the most difficult habits to break.
Yes…I worry what other people think about me.
Yes…I am concerned over how I am perceived.
Yes…I spend too much time analyzing most discussions I have with people and pick apart things that may have been said in haste or misconstrued.
Yep.
It’s a time waster.
It’s time consuming.
It’s a burden I was never meant to carry.
Have you lived your life like that?
Have there been moments when it was easier to sacrifice a small portion of your own values in order to fit in?
I have tricked myself into believing that staying quiet and compliant is a good thing if it meant that the “peace was kept” and others were happy.
Standing out and standing up are not easy.
It goes against the grain of society.
Of course we say we admire those who have gone before us to promote significant change in society….but that is through hindsight.
Most of the time, during days of tension for change, the one stirring the pot in the middle is the most criticized.
That is where a people pleaser would significantly fail.
I had a conversation recently, where another woman said she is asking herself the same question I have been reflecting on for the past ten years or so since God brought this awareness of people pleasing into my scope of vision.
The question is this:
Who am I trying to please with this action or statement I am verbalizing~
God or man?
Am I a people pleaser or a God-pleaser?
Fear of man (the opinions or perspectives of others) brings a snare …
That means it traps you. It holds you prisoner. It tightens it grip on you if you struggle. It suffocates you. It can kill you.
Seems dramatic, eh?
Let me tell you, if you have ever tried to please people long enough you have felt what I just described…to the point where you feel like you are dying on the inside.
The reality is, I have learned that you cannot please everyone at the same time.
One opinion or action in the favor of one has the tendency to go against the opinion or favor of another.
It presents a pickle situation.
The tension of that pickle is suffocating.
Pleasing God by trusting in Him and putting your confidence in Him brings safety.
It brings freedom.
Looking to the Lord in difficult times and seeking what He desires as an outcome lifts the burden of meeting others expectations.
Why is that?
Because God’s motives and intentions are always good.
God is the personification of love and goodness.
The book of James tells us that only good and perfect things come from God.
Tension does not.
Anarchy does not.
Anxiety does not.
Conflict does not.
Confusion does not.
These are all symptoms that swirl inside a people pleaser….am I right?
God is a God of order -not chaos.
God brings clarity -He is the light in darkness.
God is peace.
Trusting in the Lord and following His will and His plan may seem disconcerting to others….it goes against the grain, remember?
If you look around you to them, the symptoms will begin to swirl….If you look up to the One who made you in His image because He wanted to, there is freedom.
Don’t believe me?
Give it it a try…I dare you.
As a recovering people pleasing Co-Dependent gal, I recommend and fully endorse this treatment plan.
Notice I said recovering and not recovered… I am a work in progress too folks…
It is the only prescription that has worked for me and has allowed me to live abundantly.
I am still me. I still worry about what other people think. I still go out of my way to “make other people happy”.
However, they no longer rule me or have the power to trap me…If I feel the snare close in (because of those symptoms I mentioned) I turn my eyes up:
What would Jesus have me do?
What example has Christ shown me in His life example?
What does the Bible say on the subject or in the lives of those gone before me as written?
I don’t know about you, but I prefer the freedom and not the snare.
What Kind of Peace Is This? 