Jeremiah30:17 says, “I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds.”
To catch you up: in February 2025 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. In March 2025, the stress of the diagnosis did a number on my autoimmune system response causing a peri-anal abscess to painfully surface and required an “incision and drainage” in the operating room. In April 2025, I underwent a double mastectomy to remove the known cancer found in my left breast and, ultimately, the unknown cancer later found in the pathology from within my right breast.
In the months to come I learned a valuable lesson: there is a difference between relaxation and restoration.
Many of us take a vacation to relax but often find we are still fatigued when we return to our daily lives. One might even say, “I need a vacation from my vacation.”
We sit on a beach, ride on a boat, nap, watch Netflix, read, take long walks, enjoy nature, explore new places, etc.
These, and many others, are the things that relax us.
I’m 50 years old now and I can say I’ve been blessed to be able to have taken many vacations. I’ve been to quite a few places and look forward to visiting many more as my future continues to unfold.
Coming home from a vacation, though, is often the same experience: laundry must be done, food must be purchased, and meals need to be planned. There have been too many times where the arguing began fairly quickly upon walking through our door at home between my husband and I as we unraveled vacation life into reality with a return-to-work in our very near futures.
The relaxation we experienced was seemingly left on the beach many miles away.
I had been relaxed, but not restored, in my vacation.
In the recovery, after the mastectomy, I discovered that what I required was more than being relaxed or calm… I needed to be made well; made whole: restored.
1 Peter 5:10 writes, “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to eternal glory, will himself RESTORE, CONFIRM, STRENGTHEN, AND ESTABLISH you.”
Looking whole externally while feeling incomplete at the same time became the new normal I walked around with for the next almost 6 months.
In my recovery, I determined to do just that and that only: recover. I decided that was my now full-time job and I embraced it as best as a person could (especially a person who considers themself a “do-er”).
However, the months to follow became a new season: one of restoration.
This was not to be something done organically or to receive through osmosis. This was going to require as much intentionality as the season of recovery called for.
Why?
I’m glad you asked.
I wasn’t looking to “bounce back” after my experience with cancer; I was looking for deeper healing. I was not wanting to go back to my previous status quo like a person does after going on a vacation because I, instead, was still reeling that the diagnosis had even happened and that my body was forever altered on account of it.
I may look “well” on the outside, but there are scars you do not see: literal and figurative ones.
I decided to follow the example given to us in Psalm 23. To let Him guide me along right paths so He would restore my soul.
I guess I should describe these right paths, eh?
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2
That meant, no matter how uncomfortable it felt, I needed to become ok with not being ok even though all looked like it was ok on the outside. The “world” wants me to fake it until I make it, but I believe God is calling me to something more than that: authenticity.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-7
You see, it isn’t about “why me” or “why did this happen.” I doubt, even if I had the answers, it would make sense because I cannot grasp the concept of theodicy: the theological response to the problem of suffering (trust me, I study it a lot). What I do know is that I need to trust in the Lord with all my heart and trust in Him when I cannot understand what is going on or why. And when I do? He makes my path straight.
Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure.
Proverbs 4:26
There is no easy way to say it, so here it goes: we need time of reflection. We need LOTS of time to reflect on where we’ve been, where we are, and where we’re going. We have to TAKE that time for ourselves. We need to carve out that space in our busy schedules because we are worth taking that time for ourselves. We need to lament what we’ve lost. We need to rest in thankfulness. We need to ponder possibilities. We need to be in awe and wonder of this big world we are a part of. We need to question what we do not understand. Jesus said if we “seek, we will find”: if we don’t take the time to seek, what do you think we will miss finding? Peace? Contentment? Healing? Hope?
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalm 119:105
If we want to know where we are or where we are going, then we need light to direct us so we can see. The Bible is the Word that illuminates the way to go. Hebrews 4:12 tells us that the Bible is alive and active! 2 Timothy 3:17 reminds us that Scripture is breathed out by God for teaching, training, and equipping for every good work! Deuteronomy 29:29 encourages that the things revealed by God are so we know what to do as we follow Him.
My point is that we need to be in the Word.
The weeks following my surgery was the recovery time. The months to follow have been for restoration.
I slowed down, for once, and literally smelled the roses.
I watched the water as it splashed onto the shore.
I listened to the birds in my yard.
I tasted and saw that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8).
I was touched by the favor of God in the process.
Now before y’all think I’m too holy for words, remember that I do work for a living. I have a family. I have friends. I am active in my role as pastor at my church. I have a chronic illness that likes to get in my way. I lean toward the lazy side and like snacks way too much. My doom-scrolling time can get out of hand. I’m pretty darn normal.
Taking time with the Lord for restoration, as I said, takes intentionality. Taking time with any relationship requires a discipline of intention, so why would my personal relationship with Christ be any different?
I need to be in His presence in order to bask in His goodness so He can restore to me the joy of my salvation.
I make choices for how to start my day, what I listen to, what I read, and who I spend time with… all that with a common goal of edification and growth in the Lord.
The restoring process leads me to the rebuilding process that is coming next with the literal reconstruction of my body…
Stay tuned!
What Kind of Peace Is This? 