I am like so many other working women who seem to have a lot going on at the same time. In fact, it feels like I am often juggling multiple balls in the air at once! They often look like my work schedule, my kids MULTIPLE activities schedule, my husbands travel schedule, my personal commitments, my personal RESPONSIBILITIES, my time spent with the Lord, my time spent with husband/kids/parents/friends…

Anybody else feeling my angst?

These are not BAD things…these are things in life that simply fill our day to day that must be attended to! Kids need to eat so therefore groceries need to be bought, etc…

As I come out of the summer and enter into the busyness of fall, I feel like I have learned a few things. I think I took an unplanned “hiatus” from thinking of all things

and focused on the present.

This did bring in some confusion as I do believe I lost my sense of direction and purpose for a bit but it did provide some clarity on a few key points for me:

What do I want?

and

What am I afraid of?

I heard a Joyce Meyer Podcast earlier this summer and she posed this thought:

“Just because that’s the way the world is DOES NOT mean that’s the way MY world is.”

That has fueled both those questions for me….what do I want and what am I afraid of that is keeping me from getting what I want?

I must interject and state that I believe the Lord has created me (and all of us) for a purpose to do something that He designed for us to do. We are created to be a part of the Body of Christ- all doing our part…So, the passions inside my soul are gifts from Him, the talents I have are gifts from Him to be used to serve Him, my dreams have come from my burning desire to be more and more like Christ.

The questions then, get asked once more: What do I want and what am I afraid of?

One of my biggest stressors is that I succumb to the pressure to be “everything to everybody” and that whatever it is I need to be doing needs to be done right now.

Frankly, my dear, that’s quite a heavy load that I have placed upon my own shoulders.

This had led to the demise of my Juggling Act:

I have been exceptionally busy these last few weeks thanks to the start of the school year. I was doing pretty well- I definitely looked like I had all things held together and balanced. I even convinced myself of my great skill at keeping all the balls in the air!

So, I did what came natural, and added one more ball.

Why not, right?

That didn’t work out so well.

In my effort to keep things moving smoothly, and looking good on the outside, I added one too many things to my already full plate and overloaded my brain with details.

Want to know what happened??

It was a simple task…take keys out of ignition, pick up phone, get out of car, and lock the door…this is one task I do hundred times a day it seems! It is one task that makes all the tasks get done smoothly and on time!

OOPS.

You know that feeling I am talking about? As soon as the darn car door shuts you feel it deep in your stomach…

Yup. Through the window, I saw it all so clearly…my keys and phone sitting next to each other on the console…inside the locked car.

WHOOSH! The balls I was juggling fell!

I actually dropped one!

Shock! Horror! Amazement- yes, I am truly human! I am NOT perfect! I DO NOT have it all together!

I was NOT going to get where I needed to be on time.

I was NOT going to “get over this quick” and return to my normal organized self- I was going to continue to drop these balls the rest of the night!

It was time for the balls to come down so my arms could rest finally.

This was NOT a huge deal…my goodness, could it have ever turned into one though! A few years ago, this would have been a major crisis that wrecked my weekend and not just an incident that rattled my cage a bit.

Do you know how much pressure there is to be everything to everyone all the time???

As embarrassed as I was, borrowing a phone from a stranger to call my husband for help and then having to wait for his time table to be able to provide me that help while I helplessly watched time pass knowing a complete stranger  was waiting for me to drop something off to her and had no idea why I set up an appointment to only stand her up, I chose to NOT let it define me.

Later, when my scatterbrain behavior continued causing me to totally leave someone behind that I was supposed to drive somewhere, I almost felt like a failure.

You know what?

I am not a failure.

I am a normal human being who makes mistakes.

The freedom gained in making those mistakes completely took the pressure off from the desire to pick up those dang balls and begin juggling again!

What am I afraid of?

“The World” says we need to have it all together, be organized, be all we can be, to be a

MY WORLD is something different….and that difference lightens my load!

What I want is to follow Christ, to live in His image, to do what He will have me to…to do so, all I need to do is to believe in Jesus, to continue to get to know Him, and to trust Him.

In Jesus, I find grace that covers my faults.

In Jesus, I find strength to overcome my weaknesses.

In Jesus, I find someone to help me carry my burdens.

In Jesus, I find hope….peace…and rest.

In Jesus, I can do all things.

In Jesus, I am enough.

In Jesus, I am loved.

In Jesus, I can love.

We sang a beautiful song over our Summer Retreat with my youth group that I want to share at the end of this blog. It resonates in my mind and I find I hum it continually. The chorus states my truth:

We have found our hope…

We have found our peace…

We have found our rest…

In the One who loves…

He will light our way…

He will lead us home…

As we offer all to the One who saves us…

Even in my juggling, I have found peace and rest…His name is Jesus.