One whole holiday is under our grieving hearts- with the “Big One” to go yet.

These next weeks that lead up to Christmas are a daily exhausting reminder of what is changed and who is missing. There simply is no reprieve once the holiday decorations go up in the stores, the Christmas music begins playing non-stop on the radio, and those holiday greeting cards start coming in the mail.

 

The last time I met with  my GriefShare class was before Thanksgiving and the session was about the Lessons of Grief- Part 2. There is a portion of that lesson that continues to resonate within me.  I cannot help but linger on this thought and put it to words. When placed into the context of this week’s lesson on Heaven,  I think it is appropriate to revisit this topic of “identity”.

 

“Grief is NOT an identity”.

Being a “widow” is NOT an identity.

Being the parent of  a deceased child is NOT an identity.

Considering yourself an “orphan” after the loss of both parents is NOT an identity.

Being “sad” is NOT an identity.

Being “depressed” is NOT an identity.

 

Nor is being a wife, a mother, a nurse, a writer, a friend, an aunt, a sister, a daughter…

 

These are ALL experiences:

“I am experiencing  a new chapter in life as the mother of a child who has died”…

“I am experiencing a new, unwanted Part 2 of my life as a widow”….

I am in a season of intense sadness.

 

I am not sad…I feel sad.

 

“What is it that defines my existence”, therefore,  becomes the great question:

Is it what I do?

Is it how I feel?

Is it what I own?

Is it what I have lost?

 

I WANT my existence to be based on what can NEVER be lost…

All good and perfect things are gifts from the Lord

and those things that are good include my loved one…which means they too have been a gift to me, not something permanent in me.

 

So, who am I?

I am a child of the living God, I am the treasure of my Creator, I am one who is molded by the Potter, I am a child resting between my Father’s shoulders, I am created in His image to do things He created me to do- it is His passion instilled into me to accomplish His purpose…

and I am struggling with the condition of grief.. depression… fear… anxiety…

 

Thankfully, I am told I am also NOT ALONE in the struggle.

 

Proverbs 23:7 tells us what we think therefore we are…what we think of as our identity is crucial to living the full, abundant life we have been promised.

What is your identity?