I read a few things today in the Bible that have stood out to me.

Psalm 130:5 says in His Word I have put my hope.

James 1:12 says God will bless you if you don’t give up when your faith is being tested.

Lately, I have felt so discouraged. Just when I am encouraged it seems that something crosses my path to lead me back into discouragement.

It is interesting to me that the root of both those words is courage:something I know I am not alone in struggling with.

I need hope to be courageous.

I need faith to have hope so I can be courageous.

My faith has never been as tested as it has been these last 6 -8 months.

Life was trucking along pretty well…definate speed bumps along the way over the last couple years but still with forward motion.

I feel like I have had road blocks instead of bumps in my path these days.

One right after another.

One friend called it a “wilderness” experience….another said it is a valley…I thought it was a plateau.

I don’t know what the heck it is but if you visualize a desert plain that is all dried out, barren, and flat but surrounded by these enormous craters that are unavoidable to fall into….I think my faith walk has just been described.

Climbing out of the crater leaves me exhausted and physically sore….strained as my muscles ache for a reprieve. But to reach the barren surface filled with emptiness leaves me emotionally empty instead of relieved..

There no safety in either the crater or the plain. There is no rest. There is no rejuvenation…only another crater waiting. Some I see coming and others catch me off guard as I fall into their waiting abyss.

That is where I am in a nut shell.

The hope I treasure comes in spurts of visible life in the desert nothingness…It comes in the presence of absolute love my friends and family have for me as they surround me; supportive and accepting of the place I am…where they know I don’t want to be…where I am a complainer, a crier, a worryier, an anxious nutcase…a not much fun gal to hang around- yet they stick close.

Perhaps they create the mountains of life that surround this valley I am in…

Because of them I know I am not alone.

I know I am loved.

I am reminded that I have value and there is a purpose in the pain..

That this is a temporary place and not my forever home.

That is the hope that spurns me on. Staying stagnant in the desert or leaving myself to die spiritually in the crater is not acceptable to life I want to live.

God will bless you if you don’t give up when your faith is tested…

I refuse to give into the temptation that plagues my days to return to the life I lived before I was called from the grave.

I refuse to quit fighting for what I believe and who I love.

I refuse to give up on the only hope worth living and dying for….my anchor, my rock, my Savior.

My only hope can come from His Word for what else is there??

In the same passage of James I am reminded of a special verse that says every good and perfect gift comes from the Father…

In the valley it is good to be reminded of the good gifts and to know I am loved by the Giver.

I like that song that says to help me desire the Giver more than the gift…the Savior more than the saving…the Healer more than the healing…

May it be so.

I am thankful for the gift of hope.