Jesus Calling by Sarah Young writes this morning that it is impossible to thank God and to curse Him at the same time.

Often, we are tempted (and succumb to it) to complain how we feel God is treating us.

Sometimes it is an all out scream of why are You doing this???? Do something!! Stop this!!

Sometimes it is in more subtle complaining: I don’t like this, I won’t do it, I can’t do it.

There are so many times over the last few months that I have been near paralyzed by the reality that all this has happened to me.

When, in all truth, things have affected me, crashed into my world even, but not all of it has happened to me.

But I still complain in the fear.

I wallow in the hurts.

I sit in the frustration.

I whine about the unknown.

I tremble through the doubt.

I toy with anger…bitterness…

Frankly, I have shook my fist in God’s face and basically told Him that I thought my way was better therefore suggesting He did not know what He was doing.

How is that for honesty??

Read my last few blogs if you doubt my sincerity…it is all in there…veiled but there.

Now, I am incredibly grateful to serve a God who allows my honesty. He appreciates the way I cast my cares onto Him. He understands my heart even when I do not understand -or trust- His.

The Psalms are filled with the same expressions I have stated…most of them were written by a man who is described as a guy after God’s own heart…How would that be for an epitaph about someone who seemed to question God continuously??

Even though my expressions of discontent are allowed, understood, and even accepted I am told there is a better way..

Philippians 4:4-7~

Rejoice in the Lord…let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything present your requests to God with thanksgiving. And then the peace of God – that transcends all understanding- will guard your mind and heart in Jesus.

Many times I have read this passage and broke it apart. I saw rejoice in the Lord always and said “yup- amen..Good plan”.

Separate phrase would then be to offer thanks for what troubles me so I can have peace…Little more difficult but I am willing to do what I must do…right?

Then why am I complaining and not saying thanks when life is more difficult than I desire it to be? Where exactly is my peace because I am not feeling peaceful here??

Rejoice in the Lord…be joyful for who He is…the Giver, not the gift…the Savior, the Healer, the Comfort…

Joy is a fruit of the spirit that comes out of love for the Lord…it is not a spirit of happy, it runs so much deeper than a pleasant enjoyment of circumstances and defies fluctuations of weather that affects my mood for the day.

Stay gentle in the trial…be kind…self-controlled…

Yep- another fruit..

Pray and tell God what bothers me…am I really being honest with Him? If I am not joyful in Him can I honestly say I am really talking to Him or just throwing demands at Him??

And then peace will be mine…a peace that guards my heart and mind…Not a problem resolution, not a situational fix, not suddenly getting my way…But a peace that settles my pounding heart in the storm and refocuses my mind against lies that say I am ruined, I am terrible, things will never get better, I will not survive this pain, God doesn’t love me like I think He should…

How do I get this peace?

I rejoice and then I can be gentle and sense the nearness of God…I trust Him enough to be thankful for what He is doing in me, around me, and in those so severely affected by their raging battles and then an unexplainable peace will be given to me.

Repeat process.

To keep the peace I must keep doing my part…intentionally…all day…all night.

Rejoice. Be gentle. Be honest. Be thankful.

Accept the peace that is offered by rejoicing, being gentle in a way that others notice it while in my own suffering, and be thankful in my pain…

Repeat.

It is redundant, repetitive, and sounds oh so easy….

But it is the hardest thing to do when life is hard and hurts.

In verse 12, Paul writes that he has learned the secret of being content in every and any situation…

He rejoiced. He stayed gentle. He told God what he wanted and trusted God to give him what he needed. He stayed thankful…even when beaten, rejected, cold, hungry, and imprisoned.

What a challenge to live…but isn’t peace of mind and heart worth it?