My pastor said we should take time for self reflection in his sermon yesterday…that is not a new habit for me.

I either reflect or overanalyze on a daily basis depending on your perspective or definition of reflection!

However, today is a day of reflection for sure.

The anniversary of the death of my sister in law is quickly approaching and that day marks a pinnacle moment for me: it was the day the scales fell off my eyes and I could suddenly see this fallen world in which we live.

I did not understand or like what I saw or felt…but I was forever changed regardless.

Since that day almost 9 years ago I have never been blind again. Instead, more and more light has been shown into the darkness around me which has allowed me to see even more clearly.

I have been made acutely aware of the hurts of this world…talk about wishing for a shut-off valve some days.

I have attempted to fix them (massive fail), carry them (crushing burden), and ignore them (didn’t work) from time to time…still do- I am totally human after all.

What I have found to be the most beneficial though is to be there in the hurt with someone.

Just be there.

Don’t leave them alone in that pit of darkness and pain.

But I am only one person- so it can be a daunting task to undertake as the need is great for comfort…especially when the darkness also shadows me and I desire comfort too.

But, as with the story of the boy and the starfish, if I can help this one then I have completed my purpose.

So, as August approaches, I am sitting on the edge of a new journey.

Today I receive the official and public announcement of recommendation to continue ministering to those hurting given by the Church of the Nazarene.

To those unfamiliar it may seem foolish to need a recommendation or to require any kind of written permission or authority, but to proclaim the Gospel there should be some guidelines and structure to ensure accountability, accuracy, authority, and integrity.

This is not a path for everyone…and I have been called to walk it.

Therefore, there is a process that ultimately leads to ordination.

Today, my process commences.

My “home page” for this blog declares a Scripture that speaks to my journey as if I wrote it myself instead of King David thousands of years ago~Psalm 40:2-3

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the muck and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He out a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and out their trust in God.

On so many levels this is me.

I was in a pit; sticky, dirty, and stuck. It was dark in the depths of it and I could not see anything around me. When I looked up to finally see the light of HOPE I was pulled out. But, better than that good news, is that I was placed on a firm foundation, a rock, where my footing became secure finally.

On account of that reality I sing a new song: I speak differently because I am different.

And perhaps many will be changed because of it too.

It is a good day to reflect on that.

I must ask:

Are you in a pit?

Do you see the light of hope?

Are you on a firm foundation?

If not, why not?

Be secure in knowing that even if you fall back into the pit, dangle into it, dance around it He will lift you out again and again.

The firmer your feet become on the Rock the sooner you will grasp onto that hope that continually lifts your head.

Psalm 42:

As the deer pants for streams of water so my soul longs for you, O God.

My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me”where is your God?”

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me??

Put your hope in God,

For I will yet praise Him- my Savior and my God.