Psalm 13 is pretty powerful~

O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever??

How long will you look the other way?

How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?

How long will the enemy have the upper hand?

Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!

Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die…

Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying “we have defeated him!”

Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

But I trust in Your unfailing love.I will rejoice because You have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He has been good to me.

I could end there because it says it all…

However…

Today, I am in a good place…the “boat” I am in isn’t being overcome by waves, storms, or another boats crisis.

It is also 6 in the morning😉…But I am hopeful it will continue!

I have had plenty of “storms” of late that have had my “life boat” feel like it could be capsized at any moment…

For you, and for me, it could look like illness, physical pain, or emotional pain…

How long must I struggle??

It could like deep deep grief…

How long with sorrow in my heart?

It can be loneliness, depression, anxiety, fear, unmet dreams…

How long will You forget me? FOREVER?!

Sometimes the season of trial, discomfort, struggles seem to last a long, long, LONG time…with no end in sight…it feels hopeless.

Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die…

At times it seems those who persecute you, cheated, have wronged you, have hurt you…they seem to succeed. They get the credit, the glory, the fame while you get discredited.

It feels they are martyred and you are condemned.

Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

I can’t possibly be alone in finding the familiarity between David- the author of the Psalm- and myself…right?

I feel like I have spoken these words myself…

The twist to this lament is two things:

1. It means we can actually say what we are feeling to the Lord. If these words are written in the Bible for me to read then it is perfectly acceptable to not only feel what I feel but to also honestly express my feelings to God.

2. No matter how I feel, how bad my situation is, how long my dark season seems to take…I need to TRUST in the unfailing love of the Lord.

Doesn’t sound easy when your heart is breaking or your soul feels crushed or your body is failing does it?

The words of David said just that and he still said BUT I WILL…

The New Testament tells us that only good and perfect things come from God…God is light and darkness cannot exist in the light…

Jesus told us that we have an enemy…Eve met him in the Garden of Eden- her sin to choose become like God– changed how the world would forever function until it was restored by its Creator.

That enemy brought pain, illness,jealousy, greed, pride, and death into our lives.

Jesus said the enemy wants to kill and destroy us…NOT bring us life..

Jesus died to give us life…abundant life…even in the midst of the trials and sufferings He also told us we would have.

We have an honest God that said you will suffer but if you trust Me I will be with you in it and I will end it…but that end will be in My timing.

This past Spring, I was in incredible pain. Every angle I turned my head toward only offered the probability of more anguish…

I was in personal, physical distress from an illness.

My heart was crushed with grief and fear over the issues of suicidal depression and cancer in others.

I questioned where God was in all this so I was suffering spiritually.

I could NOT figure out a solution to my problem or anyone else’s…I was helpless…So mentally I was suffering as well.

As a whole-istic person, my entire being was in turmoil.

My life boat was threatening to capsize under the weight of the waves crashing over me.

As I rode those waves, clinging for my very life to the side rails, I searched for my sleeping Savior in the boat.

He was right there. Calm. Quiet. Patient.

The waves were bad.

The storm hurt.

My boat was failing.

The situation was not good but God still was.

He may have allowed my suffering but a good God does not cause it…only an enemy would do that.

In my suffering, He reveals Himself to me…gives me an understanding of His character…shows me who to trust.

My situation can be bad, but God is still good.

That is how David could end his Psalm this way~

I will sing to the Lord because He has been good to me.

I have to choose to sing.

I have to choose to say God is good even if this feels so bad.

I have to choose to trust the One who rescued me…not the enemy who is trying to destroy me.

It is a challenge for sure.

I did not overcome my pain overnight…nor did my troubles end in April- life keeps hammering away y’all.

But I choose to sing…