Proverbs 13:24

He who withholds the rod of discipline hates his son,

But he who loves him disciplines and trains him diligently and appropriately with wisdom and love (AMP).

What the heck is it about “DISCIPLINE” that gets our hackles up?!?!

As a mother to two sons, I do not enjoy disciplining my kids.

Frankly, I wish I didn’t have to.

But I do.

It is my role as their parent.

The word “discipline” is defined as the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior. It can include the use of punishment in the presence of disobedience.

Maybe its the word punishment that we use in association with “discipline” that gets us all prickly.

In case you did not see the definition the first time, here it is again:

The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior. It can include the use of punishment in the PRESENCE of disobedience.

There you go.

Discipline is NOT punishment unless disobedience is occuring.

DISCIPLINE itself is used as a way to train someone in how to behave.

I have a strong- willed child. He is now a teenager standing at least 5 inches taller than me and has an ability to bench press my desired weight with little difficulty.

As a young child, he did not respond to rules.

In fact, he preferred to “discuss” my reasoning behind the rules long before he agreed to follow whatever rule or chore I laid down before him.

Many times, his times of discussion led to a punishment that he also did not agree with and would also choose to discuss that as well.

Sigh.

It was hard times.

He seemed to detest all kinds of training that was presented to him by me in an effort to raise him as a respectful, kind member of society.

Thankfully, he and I learned how to communicate with each other and -for the most part- can function peacefully in our home as mother and son.

He’s a good boy❤️

I do not think, however,that he is unusual in his handling of “discipline”.

He appreciates structure (as do most of us).

He appreciates consistency.

He appreciates things that make sense.

He appreciates things to go as expected.

Sound familiar to anyone else?

Discipline comes in when the opposite occurs:

Life becomes inconsistent.

Life does not go as planned.

Life does not work out as we expected.

Life does not make sense.

How we handle ourselves in those moments is where the training becomes necessary.

Why?

Because we cannot have our way all the time. We will be disappointed. We will be caught off guard by something unexpected.

That, my friend, is called life.

Someone who loves you will train you for that.

Someone who loves you will discipline you in that.

Someone who loves you will use punishment -if necessary- to get you back on the right track.

God gave us a way to live in His Bible…a roadmap per se…

He gave us a way to maneuver through the difficulties of life by using the example of others, parables, and commandments; all written down for us to read again and again.

He also gave us His Holy Spirit to be our guide and counselor if we choose to listen to His wisdom.

The act of discipline comes with some responsibility on our part: we need to choose to hear what God has to say and then we need to obey what it is He is telling us to do.

It is no different than me with my son: most of our arguing came from his blatant refusal to listen to me.

Unfortunately, some of his punishment came from my inability to hear him as well.

It goes both ways in a relationship- even parent and child.

My son needed to choose to listen to me and then he needed to choose to obey what was placed before him.

(Dishes are hard to do, folks, when you don’t wanna do ’em!)

I also needed to be consistent with my son in my requests, expectations, and punishments.

I needed to speak to him about them repeatedly. I needed to place them before him often so he could hear me.

That is what God does in His Word…

Over and over, in many creative ways, He tells of His plan for His people. He tells how He laid the plan out before them, how they listened, made promises, and ultimately disobeyed.

He gave us Christan martyrs to listen to as they tell of how to live a Godly life in their letters to the New Testament churches.

He gave us His Son as a living example to follow in case we lost our way or became uncertain of what to do next.

Our role is to choose to listen to Him.

Our role is to choose to obey Him.

That takes discipline.

Spend time in the Word daily- a short time or a long time doesn’t matter. That is between you and God.

Spend time talking to God:

tell Him how awesome He is,

tell Him you don’t know what you would do without Him,

thank Him for loving you enough to train you in how to behave that offers an eternal life and fewer negative consequences in this life,

tell Him what you are worried about,

tell Him what you are thankful for.

Long time or a little doesn’t matter…again, that is between you and God.

Submit to His discipline and see how much more peace enters your life as it did my home between my son and I.

Choose to listen to His guidance and structure for He wants only good for you.

Choose to obey Him because you LOVE Him .

Who knows?

Maybe discipline isn’t so bad after all.