Psalm 51:12 is a plea to God to restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit.

Amen to all that.

How have you all been? I’ve been rather AWOL lately. I’m thankful for the multitude of saved blogs that I have been able to share a second (or third time) to get me by over these last two months of zero writing!

Has it really been that long since I sat down to write???

Dang y’all. I feel like I’ve been through an emotional wringer and am finally coming out on the other side of the abyss I was dangling over.

Throw in the holidays and it’s no small miracle that I lost track of time.

I’ve been bobbing around in the deep waters…not quite drowning, but not swimming strong either. Know what I mean?

It made me very tired. Zero emotional energy to spare. Notta lick of extra physical energy left to do more that what NEEDED to be done.

That kind of fatigue makes a person numb.

And that’s the island resort I’ve been hanging around on since early October: Casa de la Numbness.

I’ve had a sermon topic rolling around in my head for a long time and am thankful for an upcoming opportunity to preach it in February…and that is the verse stated above about the joy of His salvation returning to me.

No spoilers here (impossible anyway, since the sermon isn’t more than a few notes on my phone), but I am still thinking quite a bit on the subject and decided to bring my thoughts here to you.

In case you’ve been following me, you should know that my girlfriend with colon cancer completed her race against it…she won and has been living in victory since October 10, 2021. We, those left behind that knew and loved her immensely, have been living in heartache ever since.

My beloved first born has also left the nest and has begun his life’s adventure of being in the U.S. Navy. He left our home on December 7, 2021 and we have now gone the absolute longest of not talking to him or seeing him since he has been in my womb.

The two circumstances on their own are difficult transitions, but paired together while overlapping has proven to be quite complicated to process. I could not unravel the grief and loss of one from the other as my memories are entangled and the wounds are so fresh.

One feeling of loss would too easily spiral into a multitude of painful feelings to the point that I could no longer tell what or who I was crying over. All I knew was I was crying…again.

I miss my friend.

I miss my son.

I would share my life with him with her…and he knew everything there was about her as she was in our lives since before he was born. Now, through the biggest moments of both relationships, there is no sharing in either direction.

Just a dead end.

Dead ends lead to despair.

Do you see why having joy restored is on my mind? I figure I may not be the only one who feels like they need a willing spirit to be sustained.

Psalm 51:12 is about more than my joy….it is about where I find it: and the truth of the matter is that it is in God’s salvation.

This Psalm is King David’s cry for forgiveness and mercy; his desire to be made new and whole after his sin with Bathsheba (adultery and murder is his story, folks).

“Do you ever feel stagnant in your faith, as though you are just going through the motions? Has sin ever driven a wedge between you and God, making Him seem distant? David felt this way…In his prayer he cried, “Restore to me the joy of your salvation.” God wants us to be close to Him and to experience His full and complete life.”

NIV Life Application Bible Study Note pg 881

Grief has made my faith stagnant.

I do not say that lightly, nor do I say it to cause concern over how deeply or not my faith roots have been dug. I say it with 100% honesty because IT IS THE TRUTH and we will all experience the valley at some point or another.

Grief, though, IS NOT sin. However, like sin, it can create a barrier -or a wedge even- between me and God. It causes an obstruction for how I can feel the presence of God. God is still there…my grief keeps me from sensing Him.

Therefore, it is the cry of my own heart for God to RESTORE TO ME THE JOY OF HIS SALVATION!!

John 3:16-17 tells us of God’s incredible plan formed out of His love for us (watch for the secret word of the day as we read these “red letters” of Jesus together)~

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to SAVE the world through Him.

NIV

Did you see it??

SAVE.

Jesus was sent by God to SAVE us.

Being SAVED is our salvation. Jesus IS our Savior.

OUR JOY IN HIS SALVATION IS OUR JOY IN JESUS.

We can get so focused on what we are to do as Christians, we might lose our focus on WHO IT IS that made us Christians in the first place.

We can all too easily lose track of the GIVER when we focus on the GIFTS…the healing instead of the HEALER…the burden that was lifted and not the One who is carrying the load on my behalf.

To me, this Psalm means to restore to me to the wonder and awe of JESUS; to fix my eyes on Him once again so I can be sustained.

I wanted to write on this theme during advent or vlog it, but…yeah…I didn’t. Maybe, just maybe, it is better to focus on JESUS now that the hubbub of Christmas is behind us…maybe, just maybe, God had a better plan when He allowed my writer’s block to happen and gave me much needed time to heal and process my losses.

Maybe, just maybe, now is the time to focus on Christ.

Jesus: the most beautiful wonderful powerful name.

Jesus: Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord- even the stones will cry it out in praise if all else is made silent.

Jesus: at His name the blind see, the lame walk, the deaf hear.

Jesus: Emmanuel- God with us.

Jesus: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Jesus: Lord of both the dead and the living.

Jesus: our resurrected King.

Can you feel it? Can you feel the JOY rising inside of you by just reading those words?? Can you imagine how His joy will be restored to you as you spend time reflecting on Him??

That’s what we’re going to do: a new series on Jesus.

Stay tuned.