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Micah 7:7-9 is worth sharing today!

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord. I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.

Proclaim that today my friends!

Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise;

Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.

We all fall short of grace and yet He gives it so freely….you WILL rise again and there will be light in your dark place once more…

Because I have sinned against him, I will bear the Lord’s wrath, until,he pleads my case and estsblishes my right.

Here it comes folks!

HE WILL BRING ME OUT INTO THE LIGHT; I WILL SEE HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS.

Mic dropped, exit stage left. Done.

I am a mom through and through..I can’t help but to “mother” even when “mothering” is not needed or desired! It is in my bones to take care of and meet the needs of those around me…to nurture, protect, and love on immensely those within my grasp.

As a mom of boys- you can imagine how well received that is most days 😉!

I think that is one of God’s little ironic signs of His sense of humor…where He sits and chuckles at me chasing after my boys trying to get a crumb of affection either onto them or off of them to land on me!!

This summer, my desire is to soak up this season of my life to the point of overflowing. There is much to be thankful for and many reasons for me to remember that I need to be thankful….because of that, this summer feels different.

In the fall, there will be so much change. Our home will be down one member and those left are growing and changing quickly. We are very different people than the ones who entered the fall of 2017…this year has completely changed us so I anticipate more change on the horizon.

In the meantime, I am in the season of summer and I want to enjoy it!

Gone is the gloom of the winter, no longer is the pressure of the spring…here we are in the freedom of summer!

That perspective offers me a new insight into a passage I read this morning as I mash it together with some other quotes.

Paul in Philippians 1 writes from prison -his own season of gloom and pressure- his prayer for those he cares for:

I pray that your love will keep on growing and that you will fully know and understand how to make the right choices. Then you will still be pure and innocent when Christ returns.

” So often we pray for our children to make the right choices. We want to protect them from the consequences of bad decisions and see them reap the rewards of good ones….Whether our children are 2, 12, or 20, we can expand our prayer for them to really understand how to make decisions that honor God” (365 Most Important Bible Passages for Mothers 197).

The reality is “small decisions can have a powerful impact” (196)…

What my sons choose to do with their present, their past, and their future is up to them…but I play a significant role in how they learn to make their choices.

They watch me make my own.

No pressure, right?

Every day I wake up and face the good and bad of this life…I choose to embrace it and lovingly (sometimes overbearingly 😁) hold onto those God has placed in my care- be it my husband, my sons, my family, my friends, my youth, my co-workers…

That is the small decision I make every day.

Sometimes, due to the busyness of life or the emotional place of another, I am unable to be physically present to those I desire to spend time with…

But distance, either physical or emotional, does not change my choice to love and hold tight.

My desire is that that choice impacts my sons in a way that their own love will keep on growing to allow them to keep making good choices to stay pure and innocent.

Summertime to me represents an innocence of childhood- popsicles, bike rides, ponytails, swimming, campfires…

Experiencing that this summer and treasuring those memories in all of our hearts is my prayer…

It’s this mother’s hope.

I read a few things today in the Bible that have stood out to me.

Psalm 130:5 says in His Word I have put my hope.

James 1:12 says God will bless you if you don’t give up when your faith is being tested.

Lately, I have felt so discouraged. Just when I am encouraged it seems that something crosses my path to lead me back into discouragement.

It is interesting to me that the root of both those words is courage:something I know I am not alone in struggling with.

I need hope to be courageous.

I need faith to have hope so I can be courageous.

My faith has never been as tested as it has been these last 6 -8 months.

Life was trucking along pretty well…definate speed bumps along the way over the last couple years but still with forward motion.

I feel like I have had road blocks instead of bumps in my path these days.

One right after another.

One friend called it a “wilderness” experience….another said it is a valley…I thought it was a plateau.

I don’t know what the heck it is but if you visualize a desert plain that is all dried out, barren, and flat but surrounded by these enormous craters that are unavoidable to fall into….I think my faith walk has just been described.

Climbing out of the crater leaves me exhausted and physically sore….strained as my muscles ache for a reprieve. But to reach the barren surface filled with emptiness leaves me emotionally empty instead of relieved..

There no safety in either the crater or the plain. There is no rest. There is no rejuvenation…only another crater waiting. Some I see coming and others catch me off guard as I fall into their waiting abyss.

That is where I am in a nut shell.

The hope I treasure comes in spurts of visible life in the desert nothingness…It comes in the presence of absolute love my friends and family have for me as they surround me; supportive and accepting of the place I am…where they know I don’t want to be…where I am a complainer, a crier, a worryier, an anxious nutcase…a not much fun gal to hang around- yet they stick close.

Perhaps they create the mountains of life that surround this valley I am in…

Because of them I know I am not alone.

I know I am loved.

I am reminded that I have value and there is a purpose in the pain..

That this is a temporary place and not my forever home.

That is the hope that spurns me on. Staying stagnant in the desert or leaving myself to die spiritually in the crater is not acceptable to life I want to live.

God will bless you if you don’t give up when your faith is tested…

I refuse to give into the temptation that plagues my days to return to the life I lived before I was called from the grave.

I refuse to quit fighting for what I believe and who I love.

I refuse to give up on the only hope worth living and dying for….my anchor, my rock, my Savior.

My only hope can come from His Word for what else is there??

In the same passage of James I am reminded of a special verse that says every good and perfect gift comes from the Father…

In the valley it is good to be reminded of the good gifts and to know I am loved by the Giver.

I like that song that says to help me desire the Giver more than the gift…the Savior more than the saving…the Healer more than the healing…

May it be so.

I am thankful for the gift of hope.

https://goo.gl/images/PSQNEG

Have you ever noticed you appear totally calm in the midst of an extreme situation and then totally lose it over something almost trivial?

Why IS that??

As I keep saying, I have a multitude of circumstances swirling around me that continually challenge my emotional stability and my faith…we all have big deal stuff lurking in the wings, don’t we?

I am seemingly “doing alright” on the more challenging days (perhaps not all those days but…)

I can somehow handle things that hurt my feelings, make me feel left out or undervalued, things that affect an unknown future, issues that I have to step back and watch work themselves out…the list is endless, right?

I mean, most days, I wake up to do my time with God, get dressed, go to work even…I am doing alright.

And then….

Something crosses my path, that in the BIG scheme of things is not a huge deal- it is not cancer for crying out loud, a Crohn’s flare up, or one of the other issues that plague my prayer lists continuously- and I seem to react so hugely out of frustration I can’t see past the end of my nose.

What is that?!?

Know what I mean?

We are talking about dealing with college concerns, financial concerns, life and death issues folks…and a schedule or plans change causes a bigger ripple effect into my psyche than a 2×4 into my car.

Please tell me I am not alone here.

Shocker fact- my devotion this morning speaks to this:

“Patient people can stay calm while enduring lengthy waits or dealing with difficult people and problems. I encourage you to examine your own life: to see how you respond to waiting and difficulties. This will give you a good measure of how patient- how loving- you are”( Jesus Always).

Difficulties and waiting.. I seem to do ok with one OR the other not ‘AND’.

The fact that I “blow” over the small stuff is as significant as if I were freaking out and falling apart over the bigger stuff. Both those reactions would ultimately reveal (if I am being honest) that I have a patience and a loving problem.

Man.

Reflection in the morning is not fun.

One can argue that I am struggling with the bigger stuff so therefore I react strongly to the smaller stuff…as if that makes it ok.

The reality is that my reaction to the smaller stuff is stealing my joy and consuming my time.

The smaller stuff is doing that, not the bigger stuff.

The bigger stuff seems to make me want to appreciate and enjoy life…to just BE. It is the small stuff that gets in the way of that happening.

So apparently I need more patience to keep that from happening…

Who wants to pray for THAT?!?

We all know that THAT prayer brings about challenges to work the “patient muscles” out…I don’t want that kind of work out! I barely work out as it is!

But, I can’t keep reacting in frustration, anger, annoyance, irritation, impatience at these inconveniences or disappointments either.

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit…I heard once that all the fruit listed in Galatians 5:22 were all demonstrations of the Spirit of Love- who is God Himself.

So patience is a gift from God that demonstrates His love…His love for me. His very character.

Being patient, taking a minute to breathe and remember the perspectice of the bigger things while being hassled by the smaller, will allow me to show and receive LOVE.

In perfect love there is no fear.

For God so loved the world…no one should perish.

Greater love has no man than he who would lay down his life…

My goodness, the “love” verses are so numerous….they are what we achieve with an act of patience.

Perspective in the morning…it’s a God thing. ( in my proofreading I saw I meant to say “good” thing but autocorrect switched it to “God”- pretty appropriate I think)

My brother sent me this…pretty awesome stuff…He is a good guy😊

I read this today to go along with it:

“Don’t let an underestimate of your gifts and talents hold you back. Decide to put your strengths to good use for the kingdom of God. Several members of the body working together infinite a supernatural synergy. Connect with others who are using their gifts, and the results can be exponential”! (The 365 Most Important Bible Passages for Mothers)

Who I hang around most has the most influence on me…they have the ability to either pull me up or weigh me down.

Life is too short to be lived weighed down when I desire SUPERNATURAL SYNERGY!

Does anyone out there realize how difficult it is to write something when you know people will actually read it?

It is an interesting fact that I am “called” to write and the mere fact that what is written will be read is becoming a stumbling block for me. I actually toy with the notion of an “alias” out of the desire to achieve freedom of speech in what I have to say…but I fear that goes against my definition of being a person of integrity: If I have to hide what I want to say is it something that truly needs to be shared? Or is it TRULY what needs to be to shared and that is why I want to hide it?

Perhaps all that is a reason this particular topic is getting stuck in my craw and won’t come out..(as a digression note, I actually now know what a “craw” is thanks to a sweetheart of a teenager with chickens!)

Perhaps all that is the reason I have barely written these last few months in general…

But, here it goes…emptying my craw…

The Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young gives a certain encouragement today: “You will get through this day one way or the other. One way is to moan and groan, stumbling along with shuffling feet. This will get you to the end of the day eventually, but there is a better way. You can choose to walk with Me along the path of peace, leaning on Me as much as you need.”

Hmmm. That is where the pause began for me…

How am I getting through my days lately?

I am  like most everyone else who rides her emotions like a roller coaster ride at Cedar Point…Depending on my feelings, I am either up or down…depending on the feelings of those around me that I love, I am either up or down. Empathy has a way of attaching his or her emotions onto mine like a leech trying to drain life-giving blood from my body.

So, depending on my circumstance, the weather, or how someone else feels, my day can easily turn into one that passes with shuffling feet while stumbling along.

 

Don’t get me wrong, my day also is as easily impacted by random acts of kindness, laughter, hugs, an overflowing amount of love-joy-pride that tumbles out from within for my boys, my purring kitten or my snuggling little bear-dog Max, the sunshine on a blue sky, flowers in my backyard, my handsome husband walking in the door, the outpouring of love and affection from my best friend that never ceases to amaze me, songs on the radio, and reminders from the Lord that He has not forgotten me.

My life can look like a roller coaster that starts and stalls frequently…

Those days of stumbling and shuffling, however, are getting higher in number and increasing in their own intensity.

I think, if I am being honest, I have become a grumbler.

There are situations around me that impact me so adversely I want to either run and hide from them or scream and yell through them. I am like a child who is on the verge of temper tantrum.

1 Corinthians 10:10 reminds me to not grumble as the Israelites did when being led from Egypt to the Promised Land with Moses…they were killed for it.

Here is the NIV Life Application Bible study note on the subject and let’s see what nerve it tings on you:

“We start to grumble when our attention shifts from what we have to what we don’t have. The people of Israel didn’t seem to notice what God was doing for them- setting them free, making them a great nation, giving them a new land- because they were so wrapped up in what God wasn’t doing for them.”

What is God setting me free from? My incessant need to people please? My anxiety over what I cannot control? My fear of the unknown?

What is He making me into? The image of His son, Jesus perhaps? One who was persecuted, hung out with the unpopular, was questioned at every turn, did what was right even though it was going to hurt Him and the pay off for His effort would not be recognized any time soon by those He walked among??

What new land is He giving me?? A future I never envisioned before? A cause worth fighting for? A career that is more fulfilling than I ever could have imagined? A dream I never dreamed? A vision for my sons that I could not help them achieve all on my own?

When I think of the Israelites I get so dang frustrated…I can see the end of their story though. All they saw was the wandering in the desert for 40 years…I can see what the Lord had done, how He talked to Moses, what His overall plan was for the people He had chosen…they saw the same meal over and over again and an unknown future based on the testimony of a man.

“Before we judge the Israelites too harshly, it’s helpful to think about what occupies our attention most of the time. Are we grateful for what God has given us, or are we always thinking about what we would like to have? “

How many times have I wished for something different than what was currently happening?

How many times have I shook my head in disbelief that all this has happened or that this is really what my life looks like now?

How many times have I looked into the future to anticipate what could happen and think “how could that possibly be what will happen??? How will I live with that??”

1 Corinthians 10:11 reads that these things happened to them (the Israelites) as examples and were written down as warnings for us…

If their grumbling brought about the delay of the given promise and brought them additional suffering unto the point of death….and all that is a lesson for me then I better flipping pay attention!

“Today’s pressures make it easy to ignore or forget the lessons of the past. Paul cautions us to remember the lessons the Israelites learned about God so we can avoid repeating their errors….we need not repeat their mistakes!!”

I wrote a paper for one of my classes on a passage in the book of Deuteronomy and the them was to “REMEMBER”, remember the past, remember what God had done…I need to dig that paper up I think…

I need to not only remember the lessons of God through the Bible by more actively studying it but I also need to remember the lessons of God in my OWN life history…I need to shift my thinking on a regular basis to what He IS doing in my life and those around me and not what I WISH He would be doing…

Dang it- that means I need to TRUST HIM and what I do not understand that He has going on.

“Sometimes our confidence is shaken when trials come, especially if they are lengthy”…

What do we do in that long time of suffering?? Sigh…we grumble don’t we?

What do I need to do to get my confidence back? Confidence in me, who God made me to be, what He will have me do, what He will do through me…I need to find my confidence in God- who HE is, what HE is doing, that HIS motive of love is pure, that He is for me and NOT against me because HE LOVES ME...

“When we have an assurance of God’s love for us, no matter what comes against us, we know deep inside that we are more than conquerors. If we are truly confident, we have no need to fear trouble or trying times, because we know they will pass” (Joyce Meyer Closer to God Each Day).

If I am focused on my unfulfilled desires and what I don’t have but think I deserve at the time I feel I should have it, I will not have that assurance of love. I will not be confident.

“Confident people get the job done. They are fulfilled because they are succeeding at being themselves” (Joyce Meyer).

Grumblers don’t.

I am sorry to say I have no conclusion here…there is no appropriate ending because I am still figuring all this out for myself.

I know I want more from my life than stumbling through it. I want more than crying fits that force me into my bedroom. I want more than frustration that overcomes me and steals joy out of celebration occasions.

I want more than what grumbling offers.

I want confident assurance.

 

 

 

 

 

The interesting thing about peace is that it tends to follow acceptance..When I fight my circumstance or feel trapped in my situation or feel treated unjustly I have no peace.

When I accept that this is where I am regardless of my reality, I receive the perfect amount from the Prince of Peace.

Peace is like manna from heaven- you get the exact amount you need for today…nothing more, nothing less.

However, I try to grab as much as I can and store it up for another day…but find yesterday’s peace does not carry into today.

Soooo…I need a fresh supply.

Therefore, back to the Prince I must go…

But, if I refuse acceptance then that sweet manna rots in its basket unused because I am searching for something else that simply is not being offered.

Now, the reality is that I don’t like where I am situationally; I don’t like the storms that are swirling around me; I don’t like the fear; the grief; the intensity; the hurt feelings; the judgements and rejection.

Frankly, the possibility of certain outcomes to come in the future are even more unsettling.

But, continually fighting the “what is” or “what may be” is NOT working…pushing against what is happening in order to dig for the outcome I want is stealing so much energy…too much joy.

So this is where I am in my choices…in this moment, today, on my 43rd birthday, I accept it.

Peace is the greatest gift I could have today so I choose to do what needs to be done in order to collect my manna.

Philippians 4:8

If you have ever had an issue with anxiety, you will know what I am talking about.

If you have ever been dealt a life altering blow to your reality that produces a cataclysmic amount of fear and trepidation, you are going to understand what I am talking about.

If you have ever felt like that your life is spinning out of control and that it is no longer your own, you may identify with me.

The root of anxiety is fear, right?

Fear of losing control.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the known…like a diagnosis or upcoming treatment plan.

It accompanies anticipation of what most likely has not happened yet but most likely will.

It is the antithesis of hope.

Anxiety keeps you awake at night because it rears its ugly self as soon as your head hits the pillow in the dark and quiet part of the day.

It likes to wake you up out of a deep slumber for no apparent reason.

It crashes into you in a hallway, a store, at work…leaving you almost incapable of making any decision.

Sound familiar?

There are multiple Bible verses that instruct us to not be anxious, to cast our cares on Him, to trust the Sovereign Lord…all this will provide you with peace.

There are a million self help books that teach solution focused ideas for anxiety management.

There are well trained counselors to assist in talking through the dire circumstamces that breed anxiety.

There is medication that can be prescribed to settle the neurons in our brain that will not quit awakening that flight or fight instinct.

All are beneficial.

I have gone to counselors, read books, and even tried medication…the most effective “treatment” however, is to trust the Lord and to release my burdens to Him.

It sounds so trite, doesn’t it?

But, trust me, this is no magic wand experience.

I have things weighing down my heart right now that I can do nothing about. I am afraid of the impending grief that is looming in the future…let’s not forget that “grief care” is my thing– and I am afraid of its warpath.

My heart breaks for those who are hurting that I cannot help..for their anxiety over what they cannot control.

What do I say then to them?

Cast your cares?

Do not be anxious?

Trust the Lord?

I may get spat on.

See, anxiety and pain run deep.

What I want to say…because I am telling my own self this right this very morning…is maybe the anxiety isn’t the bad thing we have been told it is is.

We fight it constantly, don’t we?

We try to purge ourselves of it as if it were an enemy foreign invader.

We will do anything to rid ourselves of it…and sit in shame and weakness because we cannot.

MAYBE we need to sit in the anxiety instead of run from it.

Sounds terrible doesn’t it? I sound like I am off my rocker and officially cracked under the pressure.

How can one possibly function if they are sitting in their anxiety?

Perhaps that is the point.

Half the time, my anxiety surfaces because I keep trying to do what I always do, what I know to do, what this world tells me I must do: go to my job as scheduled, be at every kid activity, smile through said activities, etc…get my point?

Maybe, just maybe, if I cried more, spoke up honestly over what I am feeling/what I want/what I am afraid of or concerned about, or made a choice that would benefit my own personal well-being instead of pleasing others or staying “strong for them”…then maybe I could finally deal with my anxiety.

Casting my cares onto the Lord for He cares for you (where IS that verse?? Can’t remember..) looks like talking to someone who loves me and won’t judge me for my honesty.

Think of that good friend you wail to, the therapist you poured it all out to, the parent who held you as you cried in torment from a nightmare, your spouse who sits next to you in your despair…

Think of all that and more rolled into one package…the Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace…

THAT is who we take our burdens to.

The tough truth is that I actually have to speak them to Him: I need to wail, I may need to scream, I need to cry my heart out, weep silently, be angry…I need to be honest, real, authentic.

If I am trying to flee from the anxiety then that won’t happen.

In my anxious thoughts, my mind and spirit are trying to tell me that I don’t like this, I don’t want this, help me out of this…If that is the case then I better say so.

I need to tell the Lord that I don’t understand why this is happening, I am terrified, I am broken, I am scared that I just can’t do this, I am angry because I did not ask for this, I am frustrated because I can’t get out of this, I do NOT get His timing, I am not convinced I like His plan, I want a miracle dang it, I want Him to fix this, I want a guarantee that this time/these tears/this experience WILL NOT BE WASTED.

I could go on and on. I need to do it again and again.

Feel my heart here?

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit…fleeing from what is crushing me will not get me the life preserver I so desperately need.

Think of someone floating in the water after a boat sinking or something…think of the hope they receive when that preserver is tossed to them, the security that suddenly envelopes them…yet they are still in the water.

Jesus is the preserver of my soul…I need to let Him know I need saving help so I can receive His comfort.

I am no different in my situations this morning than I was last night…but I feel calmer. Maybe that is the point of casting my cares…

He cares.

There are days when despair threatens to overwhelm…just when you think you have all possible avenues covered of what is looming ahead…the phone rings and another scenario presents itself.

Watching my friend grieve a loss I so desperately fear is horrible…not to be able to offer comfort is such an incredibly helpless feeling.

Knowing another friend is desperately struggling to find peace and acceptance of her cancer diagnosis and…again…being unable to do one darn thing to help is…

SUCH AN INCREDIBLY HELPLESS FEELING.

Watching the battle of depression and feeling the rejection in it…

Do I need to say it again? I think you are understanding my point here.

My health…

Yup- helpless.

And now one more thing…may be nothing, but it may be something.

But, I don’t think so.

Sometimes you just get that feeling- you know?

I will share it when I am ready but for now know a little/big piece hangs in the balance for a month before we know for sure…

So we get to wait….helplessly.

See a pattern?

Maneuvering when I am so weak is so hard…it is frustrating.

The song about says “surely my God is the strength of my soul…Your love defends me…And when I am weak and all alone- Your love defends me…Your love defends me”.

Seriously, I need someone to fight for me…to defend me…

I can’t do it alone.

I don’t want to.

I don’t want to be afraid of grief…of pain…of sorrow…or suffering.

I want my soul strengthened in spite of it…or maybe because of it.

So, I sit here at a parade…remembering that life goes on, the world keeps turning, candy still gets thrown at cheering little kids waving American flags, movies will be watched on humid, hot Saturdays…

I remember that there is a time for tears but also there is a time for laughter…a season of mourning and a season for dance…

I remember I can be pressed but I will not be crushed.

How do I know?

Because I remember that His love defends ME.

As the reality of the news of the death of someone by the taking of their own life settles on me, the fear I have deep inside me stirs in my bones…threatening to surface from the abyss I had cast it into months ago.

Holding my friend as she cries in agony over this horrific loss of a young girl she loved opened the chasm of that abyss that had been sealed shut….just a crack.

Suicide is a nightmare that will be lived through by the survivors.

Suicidal depression is torture that is painfully experienced by both the one in the chains and the one who stands helplessly by watching the brutality of suffering.

As insomnia threatened me once again..bringing her “friends” fear and anxiety to the surprise party I did not know I was invited to…a moment suddenly came to my memory to shine a light into the darkness that threatened to overcome me.

I saw a young girl the other night. She is the same age as my son…quite beautiful and very talented.

Her mom said she waited on the sidelines of the crowded auditorium for a space to appear in front of me so she could approach freely.

As soon as she did I embraced this precious gift of life so fondly. And she hugged me back with a life that is thriving.

In 2016, her mom called me out of the blue saying her daughter was suicidal and she was desperate for help…what did I think she should do?

What did I think she should do???

Who was I to offer any advice when her child’s desire to live literally hung in the balance?!

Through that time we spoke often, cried together, prayed together…

I encouraged the mom to get help and how to get it…

(I gave her the suicide hotline number and told her to call the pediatrician on call immediately to be told what exactly should be done medically next and where)

As her daughter lay sobbing in her arms that night I was allowed to help.

That is the girl I hugged so fondly.

She is alive.

But even better than that…she is thriving!!

That family does not go to our school so her and I being in the same place at the same time on the night where fear beckoned to me so harshly was nothing short of a gift from God.

It was one, though, I did not see until the wee hours of the morning last night.

Seeing her smiling, excited face tell me she plans to pursue pediatric medicine in my memory gave me the hope I so desperately needed and the reassurance necessary to push back that fear that was calling.

Reassurance that cannot be provided by the one I sought it from…perhaps because he isn’t the one to give it to me in the first place.

This sweet girl’s life gives me something to claim:

Perhaps you need to claim this too on your own behalf or for someone else…

You have a future..and I will see it happen.

God did NOT bring you this far to leave you now in your despair…He is not in the abandoning business.

God did not bring you through, protecting you, guarding you, guiding you, for this to overtake you someday.

I refuse to accept anything else.

I BELIEVE in the One who made you and I believe in the strength He has given to you.

That strength is evident in the courageous choice you make every day to get up and get going regardless of how you feel.

I claim the victory of your life to be something even more amazing than you already are.

As I walked through the bedrooms of the sleeping boys in my house last night, I prayed for them heartily. But then I praised…for my God is merciful and loving.

It is good for me to remember that.

Psalm 143 NLT.